About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Insomnia, Emotional Hot Mess, and Music Therapy

Once again, here I am big belly and all pregnant listening to different music than I usually listen to. The last few weeks of being pregnant with Hayleigh, I found myself listening to Eminem, Kid Rock, just anything pretty much like that. Could not get enough of it...

 Well, here I am once again for the same reason plus a few others. I guess being an emotional ball of hot mess the last few weeks, drives me to listen to that kind of stuff- otherwise I would be teary eyed all day long. I'm not ashamed of it. I just think I get frustrated towards the end of pregnancy, and music is always an outlet for me to let out my frustrations. Truth is the last few weeks, I almost cannot get enough of that hard edgy stuff. I do tend to listen to it every now and then, but not to the extent I have now, or back when.

I usually listen to country- anything country pretty much, but once again, it's put on hold for a few weeks. The only problem I have this time, is that I have to be careful of when I listen to this stuff... Hayleigh has ears and can talk... so, I guess my insomnia nights are my outlet to getting it out of my system when she is not awake to hear the music.

There has been a lot on my mind lately..particularly the last day or so. I have many worries, and concerns that I know it does no good over me getting all worked up about it all. What is meant to be is meant to be, and I just have to let go, and let God handle it all. Everything will work out in the end, and that's what I have to keep in mind when I get so angry over things I have no control over. You cannot control other people or other things... the only thing you can control is yourself and how you handle things. At least I'm smart enough about that...NOW.

I give up on trying to get Reid here on my schedule- he will come when he wants, and there is nothing I can do about it. So, if Allen, my mom, or Allen's mom miss him being born, and I have to have Hayleigh in the room with me, or have someone watch her while I labor by myself, it is a possibility, and I have to just let it go that it could happen. No need in stressing about things I don't have control over, things will be alright. That is just one of my many worries and woes... no wonder I found a white hair a few weeks ago....

So, anyway, good morning to all of the early birds back on Central Time Zone, while I sit here wide awake at 3:30 am with pure insomnia. Tomorrow's forecast...busy, busy, busy, and hopefully a chance for me to catch a nap.

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