About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Friday, May 31, 2013

Our Week with Daddy~

Our week started out with Allen flying into St. Louis on Monday. He had been gone for 5 whole weeks, mainly to find us a place to live out in Colorado. That in itself is a sore subject still. Anyway, when Allen landed and called to tell me he was on the ground, I watched for him to come through security like a stalker. I had a couple of stupid people come and stand in front of me while waiting - they hogged a table at Starbucks earlier, and for that they annoyed me from the get go. Allen came out before who ever they were waiting for, and of course, I bolted right to him, holding back because I was afraid of knocking him over. I was smart and parked on the highest upper level lot they had there, which was just outside the door of the Arrivals on Southwest terminal- so worked PERFECT! We talked about everything, and hurried back home to a fish fry that his grandparents were putting on. My mom had the kids- Reid spent his first night away from me with Hayleigh, and she managed to get the kids there right before we pulled into the drive. It still gets me how Hayleigh reacts to seeing her daddy when he first gets home. She always gasps, and squeals Daddy!

One of my favorite pictures of us- makes me smile and want to cry all at once -
wish it could always be like this 

Our lil Family- Hayleigh's telling Allen a big story here 

Reid with his Great Aunt and Uncle Kay and Gary 

Hayleigh and her cousin Xena- love Hayleigh in the background...

Allen and his grandpa with Reid- don't my boys look so sweet!? 

Well, we got back, rounded the kids and all their stuff up, and took off down the yard to the party. I cannot tell you just how happy I was to have my whole little family there. Allen had Hayleigh, and I had Reid. Allen packed Reid around, and they were just two peas in a pod. Allen could not believe just how big our ham has grown, and how heavy he is! We visited with all of his family, and finished up the fish fry just before it started to Rain. We spent the night catching up with the kids then after, and called it a night.

Tuesday, we spent the day going on a drive. I LOVE going on drives for some reason, and we ended up down in Wayne County, looking for where they had started fracing- couldn't find it of course, so we just made a big loop, and headed back to the house.

The rest of the week of course has been a blur. We are getting pictures taken tonight- from rescheduling them from yesterday from the rain. Allen is flying back out on Sunday morning EARLY..we have to leave at 3 am to get him back to Evansville.

While I cannot say just what is happening right now- no, we are not having another baby, planning on having another baby, etc...even though the crazy thought has passed through my mind a few times every now and then; this "idea" would be a complete 180 from what we have or are doing right now. I'll just leave it at that. I am soo excited that the idea is even a possibility, and I'm scared at the same time it won't happen. Because of the way I feel about this, I'm not saying a peep about it until we know if it is even possible. I know it would change a great many things for the better, has lots of perks, but like everything else has several draw backs. I hope to have news soon, but I'm figuring it will be a few weeks before we know anything anyway. sigh.... I'm ready to just jump and do it all now!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Booster Seats, Pictures, and Books

I haven't really felt like writing lately- I've been in more of a reading mood. For Mother's Day, I got the Fifty Shades trilogy, and just finished it. I have to say I really loved it. It was quite different from what I thought it would be, and exceeded my expectations as well. I have a few other books to read yet, and I really am just bummed that I'm done with the Fifty Shades... I feel in love with the characters, and I think that's the way it is with a good book- you don't want for it to end.

We had Reid's 6 month pictures taken a week ago, and got a preview of one of his the other day. I LOVED it! Especially since he was no smiles that day- made us really work for them!

Our Lil Ham- He really isn't this chunky, but is kind of squished up in that crate.
He couldn't sit straight up in it, so he is kind of hunched up in it. 
Anyway, other than the pictures and reading, I've been getting geared up to get Hayleigh into a new car seat/ booster seat. It isn't plastered all around on the appropriate age/size that a child should be switched from a car seat to a booster seat, but it is clear for nipping out the booster seat- which is 4'9 and 50 lbs. Well, after much research, it is 4 years of age, and 40 lbs to move from a car seat to booster seat, AND when their shoulders are over the height of the shoulder straps in their car seat.   Also, one thing I did not know those quick straps that lock into your car- if equipped are not rated for over 35lbs. So you have to use the seat belt to buckle the seat down- which is what we are doing now.(Our Excursion does not come with those quick straps) I cannot tell you just how many people I see that don't either follow this, or care. It makes me sick to see this when kids are just so innocent. It doesn't take but 1 second to change your life, and when I'm on the road driving with my kids in tow, I want them to be safe- as safe as possible. I think most parents would agree that they would die for their kids, as I would. Would it be okay if you were in an accident and that $20 booster seat didn't help keep your child safe? I would pay any price just to know that my children would be better protected, instead of just saying that they will be fine with the simple booster that they are not ready for.

I am looking at the new Britax Pinnacle 90 Booster Car seat. It has the option to use it like a car seat- using straps, then when she gets bigger, we take the straps off, and just use the seat as a booster, and buckle the seatbelt through the guide posts on the seat. This seat will be Hayleigh's last seat. It will take her all the way to not using a booster seat at all.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Saying No to the Dress....

So, I don't know what brought this on, but this last week, I wanted to buy myself a dress. Something that fit well, made me look and feel sexy- but not over the top, just a nice date night dress. For the past month, Allen and I have been apart. I've been planning a date night for us for when he's on his week off now for sometime.

I tried finding a dress online, but I wanted to find one in person, so I could try it on and know it fit well before I would shell out the cash. Well, I decided on not one, but two trips to Evansville to the mall this past week. Back to Back... The first trip went ehhh... I think I tried on twenty some dresses. I finally settled on one I thought looked good- I was not in love with it. I ended up buying a pair of cowboy boots to go with, and called it a night. I showed Allen a picture of it, and he told me it just looked okay. That sent me into a night of hormonal mood swings that I'm not proud of. I felt like crap. I decided that the dress was going back the next morning.

The next day, I took the dress back, and was on a mission to find the dress once again. I tried on probably 10 more dresses, and gave up. I settled for a set of shirts that I fell in love with. I feel comfortable in them, they are different from the many shirts I already have, and I can mix and match them with many other things I already have as well. I bought them in Maurices, and I have to just say I love that store. They now have full figure manikins out front of their store with the smaller ones. I have bought my silver jeans and capri pants in there, and they were soo helpful on finding me what I wanted. Allen loves my new shirts as well, and I am happy. Not originally what I had in mind, but in the end I think I came out with a better deal.

I am pretty sure I am done with dresses for now. They just do not fit or compliment me right now. I have some dresses in mind I would love to have, but I cannot find them anywhere, so until I can find one in person, the dress hunt will be put on hold. I'll post pictures later of the new shirt set- when Allen and I get our date night soon to come.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A Busy Weekend

Well, this past weekend was a dozy.. We had Hayleigh's 3rd birthday party on Saturday, and Mother's Day on Sunday~ Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Hayleigh's Party went great! All the little girls dressed up in their cute little dresses with them all running around squealing and playing kiss the frog- precious! I wish we could be around these little girls more now that we are leaving to go back out to Colorado. Ohh how much fun we would all have!

Playing Kiss the Frog 

All the little girls~ 

Reid was dressed up as a Frog Prince 
Sunday, I missed Allen a lot. It was my 2nd Mother's Day with babies in tow, and I can't honestly remember what it was like without having them here with us. Allen did manage to send my Mother's Day gift to me. He kept pestering me on wanting to know what I wanted. Well, I finally told him to get me the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. I got it yesterday from Amazon, and let me just say that I LOVE it! I realize it's not every one's cup of tea, but I think it's a really good read. Lately, all I've been reading is books and articles on decorating, do it yourself projects, and parenting... I needed a break for me. We all have to take care of our marriage like a garden anyway, and I guess if that means enriching yourself with a scandalous read, then so be it.

Anyway, we got Hayleigh's 3 year pictures taken yesterday by Tabatha Phillips Photography and the sneak peaks I'm in love with!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Leaving and Letting Go

Today, we celebrated Hayleigh's 3rd birthday a month and a half early. We had a great time, and I wish that Allen could have been here with us. I put a lot of work into today- I could have really went wild and did more, but then it would be all up to me to get it all cleaned up with some help from others after being worn out, and that's why I cut the slack back on it all. Everything turned out pretty much how I had pictured it. I wish I would have gotten more pictures, but I think that is the way I feel every time. I really wish I had a clone for those times, and I could snap pictures and take care of the behind the scenes things- but alias... I cannot clone myself.

Allen couldn't make it today from having to go to Colorado to tie up loose strings for us, so he couldn't make it. We missed him terribly, and cannot wait to see him in 2 more weeks! We already have his flight booked for him to fly back in on Memorial Day- Monday the 27th. I have mixed feelings on our leaving. While I will be happy to be back in Colorado, I will miss our family and friends in Illinois. Our time back in Illinois has helped give me closure on living in Colorado. While we are not close to our family and friends out there, it makes our time when we are back here in Illinois, all that more special. People that care about us make time for us, and make that extra effort for us. It has also shown me exactly who to let go out of our lives as well at the same time.

This was probably the last year we have the big party back in Illinois. I am hoping we can make some new friends when we move back out again this time- not to replace our friends here in Illinois, but to help enrich our lives out there. Hayleigh will be in tumbling and swimming this summer, and will hopefully make some new friends of her own out there.

While I was disappointed not to see a few people today, I know it is not the end of the world, and some I will see again very soon, and plan on keeping in touch with, while some of the others, I'm afraid it's time to let go of.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Infertility a Good Thing?

Yesterday afternoon, I realized that 2 months from now, Hayleigh will be turning 3 years old. Then while watching The Little Couple, I found myself going back to before Hayleigh was here with us. We were filled with great anticipation. We were getting ready to be parents for the first time! While the road to getting to where we were back then wasn't easy- I don't think I had ever been so grateful in all my life. Before then, we would have done anything to become parents. I wanted to be a mom - somebody's mom, so bad I couldn't stand it. Yet, there we were getting ready to meet one of the most important little ladies we will ever meet in our lives... Hayleigh. Back then, I always wondered what our kids would look like, how many we would have. Now that the puzzle is complete, I look at both of our kids and think that I never dreamed they would look or act the way they do- they are both more beautiful than I dreamed. Hayleigh has my curls that I had at her age with a variation of Allen's hair color, and his eyes. Reid looks like Allen soo much it's not funny, but he got my eyes and we are thinking my hair color too, now that some is finally growing in.

 Sorry this is getting rambled- I get this way when I get gushy over our kids. 

Anyway, I can still remember what it felt like to feel that hope. I don't think that the feeling ever does leave- here we are 3 years later, and I am still in denial that we are here with 2 kids. Allen and I even still lay in bed at night, or just catch each other every now and then, and ask each other if we can even believe we are here. 

My blog originally started out with our trials of trying to become a family, is now mainly just about our family completed and the day to day life of a mom. Even though we did not have to go through it all again for Reid, I still remember what it felt like to feel despair, wanting a baby soo bad- just wanting to see those 2 pink lines just once, and not thinking it would ever happen. I still have all of my injection supplies, packets, and instructions for both of our IUI cycles. I keep them in our cedar chest so I can someday bring it all out to show our kids how hard we fought for them- how much we wanted them. I haven't forgotten any of it. 

This was us- the day we had our final ultrasound before our first IUI cycle. August 09'  I had to get an injection in the new Bush Stadium at a Cardinal's game, in the women's bathroom at exactly 9pm, to make me ovulate 48 hrs from then. My ovaries were the size of golf balls then- if not bigger from the drugs I was on. We had no idea that the cycle we were all geared up for would fail, and leave me heartbroken. I still look back and treasure that weekend, it was special to me because it was the beginning of our journey to becoming Mom and Dad. 
My first round of drugs I was soo excited to get - it was like Christmas in a messed up sort of way when  the package showed up at my door step.
This was almost 3 years ago- Me & Hayleigh 
I know some people are just starting to go through all that we had endured a little over 3 years ago. They have no idea exactly what they are in for, what they will lose, and what they will gain. The experience is something I wouldn't ever trade for anything in the world. Most people who undergo infertility treatment say they would never wish it upon their worst enemies. Well... I would. Going through all of the ups and downs of it all, losing friends, gaining a few others that I would have never guessed I would has given me much to be thankful for. I am a better mom I believe from the experiences infertility has brought me. I am more patient, grateful person and a better wife now thanks to infertility. Our marriage was also made stronger because of infertility. We learned to be more supportive of each other- putting the other first. We both learned to be more understanding, and open as well. Because of the experiences infertility has brought us, our marriage has endured other life experiences along the way better than what it had I believe. So, to me infertility has ended up being a good thing..granted I'm the one sitting here with a happy ending while some are not as lucky. 

Because of our happy ending to infertility, I can now say, it was worth it all- everything we lost or gained, worth every bit of it. We came out with so much more than just becoming Mom & Dad. So if you are there, just starting to jump into the jungles of infertility treatments, I wish nothing but the best for you. Just remember to savor it all- the good with bad: the injections, countless ultrasounds, lab work, nausea, and heartache of a failed cycle.. Because no matter how bad it all was, those memories will soon become some of your most precious memories, all because they were the beginning of you becoming Mom & Dad.