About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Blog Archive

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Hayleigh, You are 2 ALREADY!!!

Babies Don’t Keep
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

Well, today is one of those days that as a mother, it is a given that you're gonna cry... Hayleigh turned 2 years old this morning at eactly 6:28am CST. Yes, I was up, and crying about it. I really woke up just 5 minutes prior to the time- 5:28 our time- mountain time. I didn't even have to set my alarm for it either. I didn't feel good at all- we think Hayleigh's cake made us all not feel too good. Anyway, I ended up shooting out of bed, getting some antacid chews- yes, I'm already there, and sitting in the kitchen, waiting until the exact minute to post on facebook, when Hayleigh was born. I sat there, meanwhile, thinking back to two years ago- what was going on- how we felt, how our lives were changed forever from then on. Amazing how one little person can make such an impact on many people's lives.

Yesterday, we spent the day playing with Hayleigh outside, out in her new shark water sprinkler, and just throughout the house. We ended up going over to a friend's house for cake, hot dogs, and brats, singing Happy Birthday to Hayleigh, with her getting shy. She blew out her candle- I wanted to cry then I was soo proud of her. We ate cake and went home.

This morning, while looming around the house at 5 in the morning, I went to Hayleigh's room, stroking her hair, and whispering Happy Birthday Sweetie, to her, crying, again. How did 2 years fly by soo fast?? It is just not possible that we are here already, Hayleigh turning two, and we are getting ready to have another baby. It seemed just like yesterday, that we were bringing our newborn baby girl home with us, scared to death, and beyond proud of our little bundle of joy. Now, she is walking, running, talking, counting to 13.... pushing around her baby buggy with baby doll in high heel dress up shoes, and giving hugs and kisses out. She sings I Love You, and will sing along with some other songs. She helps us around the house. Every time I go to vacuum with my dyson, she gets her mini dyson out, and follows me around the house, helping me clean. It melts my heart to hear her say Thank You Mommy, when I give her something, and never did ask for anything from her. I imagine I'll be asking the same questions when she grows up, leaves the house, and one day gets married.

I now understand the heartache that comes with being a parent, that I never knew before. It's not the scary movies that scare you, it's your kids growing up with you not being ready for them to, them growing too fast. Everyone tells you when you become a parent, just how fast time flies with kids- they are standing there with teenagers, and you look at them like they are crazy, until time passes, and you are nodding your head along with them.

 Hayleigh is not a baby anymore, and never will be again. But, I'll let her stay my baby for as long as she wants to. I'm just happy this morning was one of those mornings, where she wanted me to hold her, and cuddle with her in our bed. She didn't want to lay there by herself between Allen and I, she wanted me to hold her as we laid there. Still my baby.... for now anyway. I know the day will come  here she will want me to disappear, and think I'm crazy, and don't know anything. Hopefully those days will stay away for a while. I know that hearing "Mommy" or "Daddy" called throughout our house will become a distant thing of the past, but for now, instead of replying "What, Hayleigh", I'm going to run to her and give her a big hug and kiss. Soon, I will be longing for the days we are living now, to return, or to come back to now and enjoy being here just a little bit longer. So, for today, the computer & TV are being shut off, and we will be playing with baby dolls, and running around outside under the sprinkler.

So, Happy Birthday sweetie, you are now two! You will always be our baby girl, no matter how old you are!

Friday, June 29, 2012

It's Official!! Hayleigh's getting a Little Brother!!

Well, as you can see, Hayleigh will be getting a baby brother- totally shocked me. But, then again, I never did have a "gut" feeling of what this baby was. I think both Allen and I are still both in shock. With Hayleigh, I just knew pink was in our future, and I really thought if we did have any more kids, we would have one more, and it would be a girl. Funny how things work out. I had done probably 10 gender predictor tests- all said I was carrying a girl, and the Chinese zodiac calendar, said boy- same as when I was pregnant with Hayleigh- so I didn't really take it too seriously.

Fun facts: When I was pregnant with Hayleigh, there was 5 of us total on my mom's side of the family pregnant at the same time- all of us due within a month of the next. All of us had girls, except one- had a boy. Last year, there were two babies born, both girls... This year, there was 3 of us- all from the same bunch. One baby has already been born- a boy, we are having a boy, and can you guess what the other baby to be born also is??? You guessed it, BOY. So, when everyone on that side of the family gets pregnant, we all 99% of the time have the same gender babies. Pretty neat!

I swore up until now that the wedding band trick was never wrong... well it is now! I hope! It said we were to have 2 girls... we clearly saw a weenie!

I have craved potatoes, and citrus stuff like crazy- LEMONS doused down with sugar and salt. I haven't got to eat that yet- my teeth just cannot handle it, but I do really want to eat that. Our kitchen sink bath and body works foaming soap is the kitchen lemon- I could just about eat that! Other than potatoes and lemons, I also love peppermint too right now. Everything I crave, with the peppermint exception, is everything Allen loves to eat. Funny- I have a mini Allen I'm growing right now.

Speaking of mini Allen- this little guy, isn't soo little. I was 19wks on the money when we went in for our ultrasound on Wednesday. "Tate" is measuring 20wks 3 days... that is a whole week and a half more than what I am now, and there is no way we can be off by that much. He is a very lazy baby soo far... he laid still the whole time, keeping his feet crossed, and crossed his arms over his face- putting his hands over his eyes. He lays sideways across my belly- smart guy! There is more room that way too. The placenta is just behind my belly button, so even if this little guy wanted to get feisty, he would have to kick my sides or my back- just like he did the other day. I got a nice kick into my lower back a couple of times. But for the most part this guy is pretty mellow, and so am I- this freaks Allen out that I'm not so wound up anymore. I laugh and tell Allen, since he is such a mellow guy, this baby must take after him quite a bit, because "Tate" has also mellowed me out- from the get go.

Now, the recap of the appointment- sorry but it is a little long...

So far, I am still at -4lbs 14oz... I gained 3.2lbs back since my last appointment. My blood pressure is staying nice and low- probably why I get dizzy spells at least once a day. The nurse that took us to the room was extra bubbly- I want to know what she is on, to be that bouncy at 8am. She took my blood pressure, and weight, then took us to the room, got me situated on the table, got the DVD set up ready to go, and gave me one of those pad protector things you usually sit on, on the doctor's table, and stuffed it down over my shorts, after I rolled them down, to "Keep the gooo off you're panties"... I told you she was something else. Hayleigh had fun pushing the stool around the room, until the doctor came in, then, it was down to business. Hayleigh ended up watching for the first few minutes, then was running around the room, and then trying to get on the table with me. The doctor was waving the wand all over my belly, found baby "Tate's" head immediately, measured it, then was scanning all around. I thought I saw a weenie for a second- (I did find it again, watching the ultrasound DVD over again). Anyway, he slipped, and started calling the baby, "He"... that then just confirmed what I thought I had seen. Anyway, after the usual measurements, and listened to our little boy's heartbeat. Still makes me cry hearing it. It was 137 bpm... I really knew we were looking at a boy then too- Hayleigh's stayed up in the 150's until I went in to have her- 2 years ago from today :) Allen even made a comment about it. Then, the doctor looked at the spinal cord, and umbilical cord, everything looked just perfect. I learned something new, the twistier the umbilical cord, the better the cord- and his was twisty!! I guess they have less problems with fetal distress, cords wrapping around the baby, or kinking...  He then started toward the bottom, but, "Tate" had his feet crossed, and was not wanting to show everything off. I just thought to myself- go figure... Anyway, we finally got to see a weenie, and got a picture of it- you can clearly see it watching the ultrasound- "Tate" just did not want to give us a show I guess. I was excited to say the least. I never dreamed that we would have a boy and a girl- one of each. Perfect! I purposly did not go through any of Hayleigh's baby clothes before the appointment, and bought girl stuff, just to see what we would get. I knew if I started getting Hayleigh's old baby stuff organized, we would have another girl for sure! It really did not matter to me- just a healthy baby, but, I really wanted Allen to get to have a little boy too. So, after scheduling our next appointment, we left, calling, texting, and posting facebook all at once. I loved hearing Allen's Grandparents squeal- they had a bet for $100 Allen's grandma said girl, his grandpa, said boy. Allen's mom was the funniest- she screamed and cried. I had her on speaker phone, on my phone, while Allen had his grandparents on his phone on speaker, so they could all hear each other's reactions. I think Allen's mom was the most emotional- it was soo sweet. Everyone else was really excited and happy- I sat there trying to take it all in, and enjoy the moment, but in the back of my mind, even though I was excited and happy that the baby was healthy, and a boy, I knew this would be the last time we would be making this phone call to everyone. I guess it is just the fact that it took soo long to get Hayleigh, I don't want to be done having these moments, but I want to be done having kids after "Tate". Two is plenty, and we will be happy with two, but the thought of being done having kids, makes me feel old. Allen still has not done a happy dance that I have seen. This baby was all him... I told him that. No doctors, or medical intervention this time.. what ever we got was all us, or him.. I'm just completely surprised that everything has worked out like it has- who would have ever guessed, we would have 2 kids by the time- actually before we both turned 30 years old, we would have one girl, and one boy, they would both be healthy, and we would be happy. I'm still in disbelief that this is really my life, and this is really all happening right now. I don't think that I could be any happier than I am right now. I feel great, look pregnant, and we are all happy, and healthy, and doing well.

As you know, I have mentioned before, Allen will be naming this baby- so he now has two names he likes picked out.. Tate- because I've craved taters, or potatoes, and Reid, or Reed. Reid/Reed popped up in the waiting room at the doctor's office just before we went back. I found it in a magazine, and mentioned it to Allen- who loves Storm Chasers on Discovery Channel- but the name Reid/Reed is different than any name in our families. Having a boy this time is nice in the sense that both of our kids will have our middle names- Hayleigh has mine, and "Tate" will have Allen's, which is Allen. Just worked out wonderful if you ask me! Anyway, this post is long enough, so I will end with a few of the pictures from the ultrasound... We are beyond blessed!!!!

This was taken a week ago of me looking down- minus the twin peaks-
 I'm already big, and no wonder- this little  guy already weighs in approx. at 1lb according to the ultrasound. 

the big round circle on the left,is the belly/chest, and the "V" shape tilted to the right are the arms, the white spot in between the "V" is the nose, and upper lip- he is hiding his eyes with his hand up on his brow line

looking at "Tate" from the front- has hands on face, trying to cover eyes- like Hayleigh did when I was carrying her

It's a BOY!!!
If you can see the two white lines straight across from each other, those are the leg bones, and the small "v" in between them is the weenie- we are looking at "Tate" with his butt on top, with legs straight out - all upside down. the other mass straight in front of the weenie, is the umbilical cord- looks big, just like Hayleigh's was, which the doctor confirmed, bigger babies have big umbilical cords,so definitely a 9lb baby is what I think is in store for me in the future! 

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The night before the BIG day!!

Okay, everything that happened yesterday, was too funny not to share! I'm sitting here a nervous wreck, waiting for it to be time to go to our 19wk baby gender ultrasound, so, I have to do something to help out with all of the nerves....And, my spelling has gone to crap since becoming pregnant, and for some reason I cannot get the spell check on this site to work- so please forgive me now!!! I couldn't spell digit the other day, so I know it's bad!

Anyway, yesterday, we were quite busy. We returned books and movies we had checked out from our local library- got to show Allen the place from the outside. Then, we headed into town to return a dvd, and pick up a pack of recordable DVDs for the ultrasound in the morning. Hayleigh and I sat out in the truck and waited, while Allen took the dvd in to make the swap- he was in there for 15 minutes at least. When he came walking out, he was shaking his head... my thoughts were that they either did not have any, or they wouldn't take the unopened dvd back because I- well, Hayleigh lost the receipt within the last few days. Turns out, the gal at the return desk, would not let Allen go- stalled for quite a while, until she was messing with our rewards account, and asked him who this Ashley McCann was.... he paused, and told her, "my wife"....she replied, "OHHH"... needless to say after that, the return was made rather quickly on the dvd. Allen then said he had to ask where the recordable DVDs even were at- ended up being in a far corner on a little shelf, and only two different kinds to choose from. Apparently they are becoming a thing of the past.

We then went through McD's and ordered 2- 20 piece chicken nuggets- so I could share mine with Hayleigh. I do not know how, but the older lady in the drive through completely messed our order up- ended up with 3 large fries, 2- 20 piece nuggets, with no sauce- so back around we went, and I ended up leaving with sauce, and another 20 piece nugget for the inconvenience.... 60 nuggets was a little much!

After laughing about the lady in Best Buy hitting on Allen, and not wanting to let him go, and getting frustrated with no nugget dipping sauce, we headed towards the Grand Mesa, going through I don't know how many back roads, because of a detour- ended up finally coming out next to the airport. Went up the Grand Mesa, took 133 pictures- got shook up- literally, on some of the rough roads, but had fun, and it was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. We just kept saying over and over, WOW. It is amazing what all is close to us for us to go out and do now. We made it back down the mountain, and decided, since I was "cooking" and we had noticed our new Pizza Hut in our town had opened, we were having it for supper. Well, after 2 deliveries, I can say Strike 1 for them. I realize they just opened, but our food was cold, and I ended up microwaving most of it, but it was still good over all.

Now, for the really funny part.... I have been trying out Blockbuster's online movie rental deal- get 2 DVDs delivered to our home, return them- just like netflix... so, I rented We Bought a Zoo, and this other movie, that was about a high end couple, struggling with erectile dysfunction- a comedy, I had saved for Allen and I to watch. It was on the new release part for comedy online, so I had put it in our queue... well, started the movie up, all of the previews were in Spanish, with English subtitles.... I was praying the movie would not be the same. Some of the previews were Saving Private Perez, and I cannot honestly tell you any of the others... Well, the movie went to start, and I tried to change the language through the setup menu- nope- only subtitles, so we started the movie- Spanish with English subtitles... needless to say we ended up watching what was on tv...

To top the evening off, Allen was cleaning something off of the couch, he didn't want me to know he got on it- thought it would upset me since I had just thoroughly cleaned the couch- I went to get a drink out of my glass of sweet tea- went to set it down- somehow knocked it over onto the floor- broke the glass- tea everywhere... CLUMSY!!!! After cleaning up that mess, I went to cover the brownies up I had made, and the reynolds wrap went flying out of the carton, onto the floor- the whole roll. I told Allen from all of those old wives tales, this baby had better be a boy, because in the past week, I have turned into a total klutz....

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The good, the bad, and the weird..

This is going to be a jumbled rambling mess. I've been trying to think of different things to say, that I have to say. I guess I will start this all off with one of the highlights of my week.

Tomorrow, I will be 18 wks....ALREADY!!! A week from tomorrow, we will hopefully leave the doctor's office knowing what we are having, and will have a pretty cool DVD of the ultrasound, a home video, and lots of pictures from the ultrasound of our newest member of our family. Things I've forgotten to mention about this pregnancy: ummmm for those who want a good laugh, keep reading :)
First, I feel like Sasquatch... or like Tim Allen playing Santa in the first Santa Clause movie. I'm getting bigger, even though I've done nothing but lose weight this time, and I'm hairy.... I shave every day, and  look like I haven't shaved in a week by the next day. I have hair on my neck & belly, that has been getting plucked and waxed, and about fainted when I saw where else I was getting hair the other night, while studying myself in the bathroom mirror. My middle of my back now has a patch of hair that is just in the middle of my back running down my back bone- just like under my belly button has. Since reaching that patch on my back is out of the question, it is on my "honey do" list for Allen to wax when he gets home. Gross! you're telling me! I KNOW!!! I kind of feel like Jenny McCarthy right now- and her book, "Belly Laughs". Now, besides being hairy, not gaining weight, bigger ta tas, I've been breaking out like a teenager, and crave lemons loaded with sugar & salt. My hair on my head is different this time too. Last time, it was very thick, and I hardly ever lost a hair... this time, it is still naturally thick, but, I'm losing hair like I do not pregnant, and it is flat. I was blaming the area here on it and on my face- with a drastic change in humidity to almost nonexistent.... I guess a month later I can rule that one out. Anyway, I hope you all had a good laugh about that. My belly- Mount Baby McCann is growing each day. I feel like a fat roly poly now. When I lie down completely flat, I cannot see over it. I just see belly. I am happy though, after going back in past blogs- while pregnant with Hayleigh, I was just the same on size, but I weigh 8-10lbs less now than I did at this same point then. Anyway, everyone seems to think this baby is a girl, I really don't know. I'm kind of hoping for a boy- one of each, but I will be happy with either- I'm thrilled to have the chance to be having another right now, and for FREE. Well, getting this one was free, so it kind of knocks the price of what it took to get Hayleigh in half... paid for two, and now got two. That's how I justify it anyway. Kind of like when the first round didn't stick, this was an I owe you thing, I guess. I'm just ready to get to going on the shopping, and getting a name settled on. If it's a boy, it will be simple.. Tate Allen McCann. I guess- that is the only name we have right now, and it has meaning. This kid is most likely 90% potatoes, hence tater, or Tate.

Other things happening... Hayleigh's swim lessons are going well- well the first half of them are, then she is wanting to do what she wants to do, and gets mad if we don't..which we are doing lessons, so we don't do what she wants to do. We got library cards today, and checked out a few movies, and books- which I need to start reading. I picked up an interesting one- life without kids... I know that will not be me now, but just something that kind of made me off guard. I don't really know what we would be doing now without having Hayleigh here, but it does make me wonder what would have been if not for her. Anyway, I also checked out What to Expect When You are Expecting- I have it here somewhere, but now have 3 wks to find it before that one goes back. I also picked up a book about being the perfect wife- something for kicks I guess.

Weird things I realized tonight while Hayleigh and I watched We Bought a Zoo. It made me cry. What doesn't anymore? Sitting there watching the movie, I realized something. Scary movies don't scare me anymore, not like sad movies do. Not to the degree anyway that the sad movies do. Someone coming to my door dressed in a Halloween mask, that has been killed over and over again, to get revenge on me  is not likely to happen. I have a couple of guns here, and I'm pretty sure I know how to use them quite well. Either Allen or I dying and leaving Hayleigh to be raised by just one of us, or neither of us- that scares me to no end. I have nightmares about that, or something happening to her. That could happen in all reality, and to be honest, if something did happen to both Allen and I at the same time, I really don't know who we would want to take and raise Hayleigh. I have an idea, but, I'm sure no one would be happy about it. All I can say is that the someone- or couple are people I have looked up to my whole life, and have admired. They have a strong marriage, and have raised a very responsible, and great kid. That is what I would want for Hayleigh and this baby, if we were not here to raise them. Anyway, back to the movie, just sitting here thinking about all of that made me cry, and made me wonder what I would do, or what Allen would do, if one of us was gone. Makes me worry about joking about there is no divorce in our marriage- one of us has to die, because we said till death do us part. I have quit joking about that, and I'm scared to death that our marriage will end that way, instead of us hating one another, or falling out of love. Anyway, I now cannot any longer watch the movie, Life as We Know It.... can't do it, but I could watch any scary movie you put in front of me. I think that is why at night, after Hayleigh's asleep, I turn the tv to the surround sound with my ipod hooked up to it, with my iTunes playing, while I'm online. I'm afraid of watching another movie that will make me cry and have nightmares about our lives. Heck, even the Blind Side on the DVR last night had me crying too.... I know there are kids out there right now, that don't have food, a place to live, or parents that care about them... why is it that these people are given the gift of having tons of kids, while good people that can provide and would be great parents are not??? Still bothers me to no end, and makes me cry.

Enough of all of that, but more crying. I have Hayleigh's 2nd year slide show done, and ready to upload to YouTube, and have started with Baby McCann #2's announcement one too. The announcement I've been working on makes me cry, and I guarantee it will make other people bawl too. I just cannot wait to add more to it! It is my favorite one soo far.

Umm... other than that, nothing else really going on right now, except for me being ready for this week to be done and over with. I'm ready for Allen to be home- we have a busy week planned for when he is home. Swimming lessons, gender appointment, celebrating Hayleigh's 2nd birthday- Thank God he will be home for that, I don't think I could handle that one by myself. Anyway, lots of running around like chickens. And, also trying to get new driver's licenses again... and shop for Hayleigh's birthday present.  I'm sure by the time I blink and turn around, this baby will be here, and I will be freaking out once again about not having a will drawn up for us. We have got to get that one done!!!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Tidbits from our week

For once, this first week of Allen being gone has went by pretty fast- I'm hoping since we will be busy this coming week, it will fly by too! Let's see... this week... I developed a nasty tooth ache- ended up taking all I could of it, and got into the dentist on Friday morning, bright and early. While waiting at the dentist, I got a call from a local number here in Grand Junction, that I did not recognize, so I called it back just as soon as we got back out to the truck. After finally figuring out who it was, ended up being my OB's office, they told me that my midwife had tried to call, and it was regarding my blood test results. (I had opted out of the second trimester screening) Anyway, Anita- my midwife ended up being in the middle of an appointment with someone, and the person I was talking to could not tell me anything, so she took my number and told me Anita would be calling me right back. Well.... an hour and a half later of freaking out, and getting a prescription filled at Walgreens, a nurse finally called me back. I had been going through every bad case scenario in my mind meanwhile. I knew I had nothing to worry about with Allen doing something to make something show up on the test, but I knew there are other things out there to worry about- hypochondriac coming out in me... I have done nothing but lose weight this whole pregnancy, so I was freaking out that maybe I had cancer, or something, I have also had dizzy spells, and had one getting soo anxious in walgreens- I sit down and was okay. Anyway, back to the nurse calling me back. Turns out after all of the worry, I have a bladder infection- didn't have a clue. No symptoms, or anything. So, now I am jacked up on penicillin and amoxicillin- and my tooth ache is gone. I just have to go back this week to have them check everything out, and see what exactly is wrong with my teeth. ughhh!

Hayleigh has been helping me clean out our garage, and get boxes put up that need to stay out there for storage. We ended up finding a box of her clothes that has been missing for the past month, a lot of junk that was supposed to be thrown away, that got loaded up with our stuff on the moving truck, and a box of my maternity clothes, that are now in the new washing machine we got earlier this week, courtesy of our landlords. I'm trying to get it all done before Allen gets home, and figure out how to get the fridge out there and deep freeze plugged in- when we have 1 outlet, and they are 6ft apart. Extension cords I guess! Here in a few months, if I am successful with being a dairy cow, we will need that freezer and fridge space! Not to mention after our first trip to Sam's club for stocking up on meat.

Hayleigh and I tried out the pool here in our town we live in, and it was a WOW experience. They have a very nice community rec center, as I had mentioned in a previous blog post. We had a great time, and will be spending the next two weeks there in the Wee Wet Wigglers Swimming Lesson program for kids 6mo- 3yrs old. I am looking forward to taking Hayleigh, but not looking forward to getting up early for us, for the next 2 weeks. The following Wednesday- we will have to miss the swim lessons for the baby gender appointment. - SOO excited for that! I am planning on dragging Allen to the two swim lessons we will be going to the week he is off, maybe even make him get in the pool with her, instead of me suiting up in my tent bathing suit.

Ohh, what else??? Hayleigh never does cease to amaze me with what she comes up with to say to me. As far as her understanding me more, I am really loving that part. I can tell her to throw something in the trash for me, and she prances the whole way, and does it, I praise her, and she hams it up. She tells me she doesn't like a tv show that I am watching, and just different things, she tells me her opinion when she has one. Just like yesterday, I put new batteries in her Violet dog, and Violet was a brand new toy again, and she does not want me to play with or even touch her Violet.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Baby Gizmo Britax B-Agile Double Stroller Review I'm in LOVE!!

Okay, I know, I know... more baby gear. This is one of the things high on my wish list next to a comfy over sized glider chair, maybe even ahead of that. It will work with our Chaperone car seat we already have, and will seat both the baby and Hayleigh and fit through standard size doors- 30 1/2" wide!!! It folds completely up, and you can also get the snack trays separate too, but it already comes with the adapter for the car seat. I realize we already have one really nice stroller that works with our car seat, but to be realistic, we will not want to be pushing 2 strollers around and this will fit both kids for quite a while. So, I am in LOVE with this, and it even matches our current car seat too! I found it on amazon, for $369.00 and no tax- you can get free shipping if you have an amazon prime account- which I just happen to have... so if anyone feels the sudden urge to order this before I get the chance to, and doesn't want to pay shipping, just let me know, and I'll give you my account info to order this under my prime account. Anyway, this is one thing on my list of must haves I will be purchasing in the next month or two. This was just released for purchase this last May, so I am just tickled they got it out just in time for baby #2!!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Baby Gear 2nd time around

I've been scouring the internet trying to come up with a list of things we will need to get for the new baby. Of course, if it's a boy, there will be a whole lot more shopping left to do, rather than a girl. At least our car seat and stroller are red, and versatile... <Lynn insert laugh here>  Except this time around, I found a double stroller that is the same brand as our current- Britax, and will work with our Chaperone pumpkin seat and haul Hayleigh all at once.

The problem I'm running into again this time around, is all of the nifty gadgets, and cool stuff. I will be..well, we will be getting a new pack and play, and swing. We have a swing, but it is only usable to the age of 6months, and I want one that I can stick the kiddo in up to a year, only to keep Hayleigh from trying to pack him/her around the house when I'm trying to do something I can't be physically right on top of them. I sold our old pack and play- opted for a nicer one for this time around. I have one picked out through Target.

We don't have a Babies R Us here, or close to us, so Target will have to step in and be our go to baby store. I'm just thrilled that earlier this year Tommee Tippee that was exclusively sold at Babies R Us, is now available through Target as well. We will be using the same bottles, I just think I will pick up more nipples for the bottles, and a Tommee Tippee bottle warmer. With Hayleigh, the bottle warmer was ridiculous- one setting BOILING hot, and I hated the screeching beep noise that sounded off on the silly thing. I ended up giving it away, and stumbled upon the new Tommee Tippee that has come out since Hayleigh was a baby, and fell in love with it. It has 3 settings on it, so I am hoping that it would work out just right. We ended up not really using the warmer too much for Hayleigh, because we ended up having to us formula, and I would just heat up the water in a glass in the microwave instead, and it was only for a short while. This baby, I am going to try to exclusively feed breast milk whether it is off of me, or via pump. I will be pumping as much as I can, because this time I have a really nice pump, and I don't care if the baby is on the boob or bottle- I'm going to do it this time. I'm not working, so this should be a do able thing. Plus, we would be saving around $100/month not paying for formula. I know Hayleigh turned out just fine from being formula fed from 2-3 months on but, I want to give it a good try this time, and a warmer would be a must with frozen breast milk.

Some of the other things I looked at was a new crib set- and an over sized chair glider that will reside in the living room. I think the glider chair is on the top of my wish list this time. I/we need a good place to sit with the baby with Hayleigh too- being able to rock, or just cuddle. I think in the living room would be nice- anyone that comes to visit can hold the baby there, and it will have arms to hold everyone in.

The baby's future room is tiny- 8x8.. and I cannot paint it, so my guess is decals out the wazzooo, and just a crib and taller dresser in there to store clothes, since the closets will have to double to hold toys. At least the room is painted neutral, so it should make it easy for either boy or girl. We have toyed with the idea of getting Hayleigh a new bed, and just giving the new baby Hayleigh's crib and dresser. I just cannot do it. We just got her toddler rail last year, and we bought it for her. The crib will convert into a full size bed when we are ready, and I also just don't think the set would fit and look right in the baby's room. I want both kids to feel special- like we did equal for both, not give all of Hayleigh's hand me downs to the new baby.

Ohh, what else did I look at... ummm... boppie covers, high chairs- found Hayleigh's exact same one on Target.com, ohh yeah, a thermal Tommee Tippee bag for storing bottles in the diaper bag, a room temperature/humidity checker. It is very dry out here, and I can set each room to a different temperature just like our old house, and I just want to make sure there is enough humidity in the room, with the temperature set just right.

Other than that, I think we are pretty much set. I love our baby monitor- an Angel care, and we already have a supply of bottles, and a sanatiser- all Tommee Tippee of course. I will be using the same diaper bag Allen got me for my birthday before we found out Hayleigh was a girl when I was pregnant with her- it is brown so it will work either way. Maybe some more sleep sacks,  more changing pad covers, sheets, clothes, and warmer stuff- we already have a car seat cover, and have 2 bases for the car seat. Diapers of course... I'm going to start stocking up in the next month or so, building a surplus, since this baby will be born hopefully in the end of fall/ beginning of winter time, and I doubt if we will be getting out too much. I think if I could order food online from the grocery store, and have it delivered,  I would, but I would say we will be learning how to stock up for a month at a time, and only going to the store when Allen is home, so Hayleigh and the baby won't have to get out too much in the cold. Ohh and gripe water- I will def. have a supply of that already with a can of formula just in case on standby... don't want to think we have everything we need and not have enough like last time. Expect the unexpected that is.

But, until we find out what we are having, shopping is on hold- I cannot wait to start buying stuff for the new baby- clothes, blankets, sleepers, etc. I just want to get my theme going for the nursery, and colors right for the baby- not a big fan of neutral stuff. I even have a going home outfit for the baby picked out, and matching shirt for Hayleigh for when we all come home off of Etsy.com. Of course they will say Big Sister, and either Little Brother or Little Sister, with their names on them. I'm really excited about that part- the custom stuff we can do. I just about cannot even wait for our Christmas cards this year, and I already have birth announcements picked out as well- for both boy and girl, hats marked as favorites on etsy, hair bows, and just about anything you could imagine. I have baby books picked out at Hallmark- probably be the first place we go after that doctors appt. in a couple of weeks.  I think matching the kids will be soo much fun to do, and like I will be able to get away with it for too much longer~

I just got Hayleigh's growth chart the other day in that I had ordered off of Etsy, it is beautiful! We got it hung up and marked with her past height checks, and I am just waiting to order a new one for the new baby as well. It is canvas with Hayleigh's name printed on it- the link to order is here> https://www.etsy.com/transaction/82845530   Hayleigh's looks just like the main picture- pink with green lettering just like shown- and it was very reasonably priced too.

I think above all of my wants when this baby comes and is healthy, I mainly just want the photos for this baby on people that come to see him/her to reflect just as many as Hayleigh had. I don't ever want them to feel like they were not loved/anticipated as much as Hayleigh was, just because she was born first, and first grandbaby on both sides.

I'm gonna cut it there, and go outside now to mow and color the patio with chalk with Hayleigh.

2009 and the start of our Journey

I'm up late once again. I just happened to be reading my blogs back to almost 3 years ago, and on facebook, looking back to 2009 as well. In July 2009, if you haven't went back and read my past blogs from then, was the start of our journey of going through treatment options and diagnosis for infertility. We had originally started in 2007, at a local clinic that promised this and that, but all we really got done was a semen analysis. They wanted $1200 to check my tubes, and would not bill my insurance at all for the procedure, even though my insurance covered diagnosis, and treatment- but not procedures on getting pregnant. I was prescribed clomid- a drug that makes you ovulate, and that was it- nothing else become of it, but we knew for sure we had a problem...errr I was the problem. I did not respond to the 2 rounds of clomid, and Allen clearly was not the problem. So, back to 2009.. we finally decided to bite the bullet and go and get something done. So, with a referral of a specialist in a town almost 2 hours away, on a June afternoon day, I made my first appointment to go and talk to a doctor a few weeks from then, July 9th- just me and my friend to come along for the ride. This doctor was very straight forward, and ready to get something done. I ended up getting scheduled for a procedure to check my tubes - usually the first thing they check when dealing with infertility, 2 weeks from that July day. So, we went back- I was thoroughly convinced that my tubes were blocked, and we would not be able to afford IVF. So, I got right in- only had to pay $100 of what my insurance would not cover of the $1200. I remember like it was yesterday, going in, laying on that table, them shoving all kinds of things up me, and then bringing out a monitor with an xray on it, watching the ink they injected into my tubes run all the way down.. They were not blocked!! Talk about a total relief! Then, it hit me... what exactly was wrong then??? So, back to Dr. Gentry I went, for another consultation appointment. I left that appointment with another appointment to call as soon as I was on day 1 of my cycle, and to go back in on day #4- no matter what day that happened to land on. We were to try IUI first with some more heavy duty drugs, since it was clear I did not respond to the clomid 2 years prior.  I went back, to my next appointment, and ended up leaving with a chart, prescription for Femera & Follistim, HC trigger shot, and a tutorial on how to use my injection pen. I then had to make yet another appointment to go back a week later, so they could check my follicles in my ovaries. ( follicles are what your ovaries make, that can possibly contain an egg) So, after my special delivery of over nighted drugs, I started the injections, and pill popping, returning to get an ultrasound done of my ovaries. There were 5 that time. The nurse I hated wanted me to not go through with the IUI. Allen was with me the whole time, I was mad, and upset someone was trying to tell me what to do- at that time I didn't care how many babies we would have, I just wanted a baby. I was also given orders to have someone give me an hcg trigger shot in my butt that night at exactly 9pm, and to return on Monday morning- 48 hours later. I won't even go into what else was prescribed for that night- let's just say that when someone tells you, that you have to do this, it is soo much less appealing, and more of just get it over with. Well, that night we went to a late night Cardinals game, and by the time we got back home it was almost 2am, and we were not at all wanting to do what else we had to do. So, skip to Monday morning, we went in, Allen did his thing, we drove around the hour we had to wait, went back, they had us show ID, sign wavers, show our number card, and look through the microscope of a sample of what Allen had left. Kind of weird looking at that. Anyway, to the wonderful room with the table and stirrups we went. I was shown everything they would use- looked like stuff for a pap test, and a dip stick for a car. After 10 minutes, it was over, and we had to sit and wait, or I had to lie there and wait 15 minutes, and then we could leave, testing 15 days later. Well, we know what that all resulted in- a big fat NO, and after all of that I was ready to give up. I was thoroughly disgusted- we just paid $1500 for nothing. After all of the work, appointments, and just crap, nothing, and we had to wait a month before we could do it all over again. I was so hurt after all of that, with a positive pregnancy test with a pregnancy that did not stick. Anyway, after thinking we would not do it all over again, we did- was worse than the first round- I was sick the whole time- throwing up after every injection, my hopes were crushed, and I was ready to be done with it all, so we could try another doctor. Well, October, 26th, 2009 marked the first day of our road of being parents. Hayleigh was then on the way, and November 14th, despite my doubts, we saw those two pink lines once again, and this time they were bright!

If you are still with me, you know the rest of the story- twins went to just a single baby- which resulted in Hayleigh, and I would not trade it or change it for anything in this world. Because, if we would have ended up with twins, this baby that we are expecting now would not have been. We would have been done. I don't think I have a point to all of this. I just look back at what all we have been through in the past 3 years, and I am grateful for everything, the good and the bad. I wish more people could experience this, even though some people say they would not wish infertility on their worst enemy. I would. I would wish it upon everyone to a degree. I think that what we have been though makes us more grateful for what we have, and to me, a lot of people do not fully realize just what they have. I know, I know, I'm preaching on about this again, and I am sorry. Infertility is just something that has never left me completely. It is part of who I am, and will always be. I am grateful to not still be back where we were, hoping for a baby, a family of our own.

Anyway, tonight, like always, I am looking back to 2009, grateful to where we are now. I wish I could go back to me then, and tell me it would all work out. Tell myself we would be expecting another baby, and be a soon to be family of four at the end of this year- 3 years later.. not to sit crying and mad at the world and everyone in it. I'm just glad it all worked out, and I am not a bitter person about infertility anymore. Still blows my mind on how far we've come.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Wish Lists, Hopes, and Dreaming of Labor and Delivery

St Mary's Hospital - Grand Junction, CO
This is one view of the hospital where we will hopefully- if everything goes as planned, have our baby. We drive by it almost every day that Allen is home- and  you can't miss it looking across the town ( It's the tallest building in the town). Every time we drive by it, I sit there, staring at it, wondering what it will be like in a few months to actually be in there having a baby. Gives me goosebumps! Often when I start daydreaming about it, I am picturing an easy labor and delivery, followed by Hayleigh coming into the room before everyone else to meet her new baby brother or sister, smiling from ear to ear. I start tearing up over this and wake back up to reality. I know from what happened last week at the doctor's office, Hayleigh will not be smiling, she will most likely be scared of what all is going on, and start crying. And, I realize I will probably have another hard labor- since I have a 30% - 50% chance of developing preeclampsia once again, so bring on the pitocin again! Yay Raw! I just hope that the baby is healthy, we can all go home together, Allen is there, and nothing crazy happens.

 It really does scare me to think that not very much longer- quicker than I think anyway, we will be checking into that place, and I am just hoping that after having labored and delivered one baby before, that I am better prepared this time around. I have been doing my prenatal pregnancy yoga- not very much, but trying to. Kind of hard with Hayleigh yelling no, wanting Mickey back on- so after she goes to bed, I try to do it, but most of the time, I'm heading to bed myself. 

I think I have different views of what I want to happen this time around. I know that if I have another long labor with pitocin, I will be getting another epidural if I need it- I don't care if you think you are super woman, going without drugs for 19 hours is crazy to lie there miserable for hours, wearing yourself out, making it harder to push when it is time. If I would have had a short labor- under 10 hours, I think I could have made it the last time. Pitocin is a mean and nasty drug- I despise it- but I know in all reality, I will be saying hello to it again. Really the only person I really want in the room this time is Allen. I want this time around to be more, I don't know, me relying on him to help me through it. I just want him more involved this time around. Besides, he got me into this mess, he's gonna help me get out of it. lol. I just worry about what Hayleigh's going to be doing the whole time I am in there laboring, who will be taking care of her- because I honestly do not trust very many people with her- or just driving her in general. Makes me a nervous wreck when I see how people drive when I'm in the car with them, wondering how they would drive with just Hayleigh in there- she is very distracting, and some people do not need any more distractions because of their driving abilities. Also, operating her car seat correctly... 3/4 people do not correctly install or secure babies/children in their seats correctly. I am scared to death that someone else will get into an accident, and Hayleigh will be the only one hurt. I just feel like if I am there with her, I would have done everything I feel is right on getting her into her seat, since I know how to use her seat, have had lots of practice, and feel like I know how to operate it correctly. So, I guess if I am not comfortable with anyone driving Hayleigh to and from the hospital for us- here especially, then I guess, Allen will be making a trip home to pick her up and take her back. I know it will be hard on her right after the baby is born, with Allen staying the night with me in the hospital- we may have to change our plans on that one. No mommy or daddy home with her- I'm sure she will be very confused. I know everything will be fine- and Hayleigh will be okay a few days away from us, or just me. 

The only other thing on my wish list this time around, is that we get to come home with the baby, and at night, it is just Allen, Hayleigh, me, and the baby here. Just for the first night. I don't know what it is about the first night home- your hormones are high, you have been cooped up in the hospital with people constantly coming in the room. I think it is just the need to finally relax with your baby/family by yourselves that break you just need from everyone, knowing it is just you and the baby- no nurses checking in, taking the baby, it is all you. Because, let's face it, no one ever truly sleeps in a hospital... well, at least I didn't last time, and I think after all of the excitement, and people in and out of my room, I was completely ready to just be alone at home. To me there is nothing more relaxing than being in your home by yourself, being able to walk around the house how ever you would like- naked, shirt & underwear, bra & underwear... you get the idea. If I want to go into the living room to let Allen sleep, and breastfeed the baby in my bra and underwear, I would like to at least not have to worry about giving anyone a show, or disturbing anyone else in the middle of the night. I just want a relaxing peaceful experience is all. Everyone can come and visit all they want through the day, and I would greatly appreciate all of the help anyone would offer, but I want the nights to be ours. There are plenty of motels around in the area for everyone to have their own room and bed- we don't have a lot of room here at all, and once the baby makes it here, we have no spare room. I don't want people to have to sleep in the living room, and then try to find a place for their things through the day while we get visitors. 

Another thing I will keep in mind... I will not over do it this time after the baby comes. I will not be outside mowing the yard, or trying to do everything. I will accept people's offers for help, and let them do what they offered to do, no matter if it is the way I do it or not. Yes, I'm that kind of a freak- folding towels, sweeping, moping, etc....  I have to worry about feeding the baby first and foremost, and will put my focus that I have to share with Hayleigh, to breastfeeding this time around. I want to be a milk cow this time- being able to pump to my heart's content- not struggle to get 4 ounces. My boobs have gotten huge this time- and they had better have for a reason- to provide lots and lots of milk. I have to remember to drink plenty of water- I will be forcing myself to keep drinking it- I hate drinking water, but it is a must to produce milk. I'm even bringing my pump I bought after Hayleigh was 8wks old to the hospital with me- it is a medela pump in style- double pump. I even got adapters to work with me pumping into our Tommee Tippee bottles so I can store, or feed with the bottles. I realize this time around, if I'm pumping to feed the baby over the baby not feeding off of me directly, it is just fine. Breast milk is free, and better than formula, and helps your body bounce back to pre-pregnancy too. I need to remember to order replacement kit for it as well too. But great pump!! I'm going to give this the best try I can from day one- I will try pumping after I attempt to breast feed the baby- I want lots and lots of milk, and this is one way I know that could help. - makes me want to go and drag out all of the baby gear right now! 

Well, I'm going to end it on that note- I'm heading out to the garage to reorganize the boxes and get the baby gear in the house to go through it. I love doing that- getting out the stuff for the new baby, especially knowing we get to use it all soon too! 

Tuesday Tidbit Trip to the Pool!

Yesterday, I took Hayleigh to the Fruita Community Rec Center- here where we live. Let me just say WOW! This place is huge with a gym, indoor basketball court, child care for $1 per hour, a library- that is free, indoor play area, indoor pool, and outdoor pool. I wish we had something like that back home. Outside there is also a skate boarding area like what we had back home, but just what is available to do here is amazing.

I signed Hayleigh up for the next 2 weeks of the Wee Wet Wigglers Program. It is a swim introduction for babies 6months up to toddlers of 3yrs of age. It is a 2 week program that has a parent in the water with their child, getting them acquainted with being in the water, and working on swim basics. I am very excited about this except for the part of being up there at 8:30 in the morning. If anyone knows us, Hayleigh takes after her mommy...ummm we are not morning people. When the sun gets too bright in Hayleigh's room, around 6-7am, she hollers for me, and I go and get her out of her crib, get her tippy, and we go back to my bed to sleep in for a few more hours. She and I both wake up happy, and well rested. We are both grouchy when we are tired, and watching her be like that is kind of cute... me- not soo much. Anyway, Allen will get to see Hayleigh do her swim lessons for 2 mornings the week he is home- we will have to miss one morning because of the baby gender ultrasound, that is at 8:15am.... sigh... the next 2 weeks we will not be sleeping in at all!~

I got everything rounded up for going to the pool yesterday, and just happened to try on my maternity swim suit... it was aweful! I have never really liked how this thing has fit, so, off to Target we went. I had to get Hayleigh swim diapers- they are required to go to the pool, so we ended up getting the reusable one for Hayleigh, and a maternity swim suit for me. I like it a lot better, and feel a lot more comfortable in it too. After leaving Target, we took off back toward home. Now, I had googled the address of the community rec center, and ended up on a wild goose chase for the next half an hour. I finally got fed up, and stopped and parked in a local parking lot, to bring the address back up on my phone. I found out that I had not been going far enough on the main road, and saw exactly where I needed to turn. So, off we went, finally found the place, right next to the community hospital, and made our way in. I had to sign a waver for Hayleigh anyway once inside for the swim lessons next week, so I was asking all kinds of questions about the place, and ended up amazed at what they had to offer. For $6, we could use any of the areas- Hayleigh was free, but we got full use of the gym, basket ball court, and pools. We went ahead and went straight for the indoor pool- to get Hayleigh warmed up to the pool first. We went ahead and found the changing rooms- very nice! Got us both dressed and ready to go, and out to the pool area we went. They had a huge array of things to do- a current swiggle part of the pool, very large hot tub, slide, diving boards, lap areas, a huge alligator floating in the middle for kids to play on, wadding areas, geysers in the 6" deep area, a toddler area, with jets of water streaming out, and a play area for small kids with water moving through it - kind of like a mining operation. They had locker areas, foam water weights to use, floating boards, and a first aide office all inside. We ended up checking everything out except the hot  tub- since I can't get in it, and the slide- Hayleigh cannot ride on it or go off of the diving board since it all is over 8' of water.

After spending about an hour in there, we headed out to the outdoor pool. The sun felt soo good- a nice 83 degrees outside with a slight breeze. We got our area set up and snacks out- since you cannot have them inside, and made our way to the shallow part of the pool. They had a basketball hoop set up with 2 orange balls to play with, a lap area roped off, a diving board area, and then a deeper end roped off. Hayleigh loved it outside- it was less crowded, and warm out there. She wanted to be on her own- in the area she could walk in that was chest deep, she would take off- then slip, and ended up going under the water, I would pull her back up, and she would come back out of the water laughing. She loved going out to the deeper water with me holding her up, telling her to kick her feet- she looked like a little frog out there- and wanted me to let go- but I wouldn't. She didn't understand how much deeper the water was there. Anyway, after taking a break to snack, and going back inside, we left 3 hours later, checking out the library on the way out. We plan on going back today to at least get our library card, and checking out a few things. We finished the evening by checking out an eating joint called Munchies- ordered two hot ham and cheese sandwiches with fries to go, and took them back home to relax for the rest of the night.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Recap of the Week & Change in Plans...

We had a great week this last week with Allen home, and hated to see him leave early this morning. I just wish he could be here more, but I know he has to go and be at work for us. I don't think we hardly sat still all week- we had soo much to do, and so much we wanted to get done.

Monday, Allen got home that morning. We ended up getting ready, showing him everything we had gotten done since he had left last time, and went to the mall to get his hair cut. We ended up getting lunch first, and tried out Sonic, and it was a big hit! I think it is now our favorite fast food place to eat at- besides my beloved McDonald's french fries. After eating, we then finally went to the mall, and hunted for the place to get Allen's hair cut. I think we were really successful- following Allen's barber from home, my cousin, Mark, it was a tough order, but, I think we got a close cut. While in the mall, I took back a top I had purchased from Motherhood Maternity, and exchanged it for a shirt that Allen picked out for me. I looked everywhere for my receipt, and could not find it anywhere, so after getting the new shirt 1/2 off, I ended up with a gift card with the difference for the store- I know I will be back. Let's see, then we ended up going to game stop, traded in one of Allen's games, and picked up a few others, and then went home and relaxed, then went out to eat at the Flying Roosters restaurant. We went home after that and relaxed for the rest of the evening.

Tuesday, we decided to hang around the house for most of the morning, Hayleigh and I got the trash out to the curb, and let Allen sleep in. I made spaghetti for lunch, Hayleigh fed herself and did a really good job using her fork and spoon! She didn't even hardly make a mess either! I cleaned the kitchen up, Allen played a few games, and I finished laundry up, and got Hayleigh down for a nap. After she got up, Allen decided to find the DMV, and then we went to Cabela's and sold one of his guns. The DMV was a total bust- busy and completely packed- we ended up leaving, and decided to return on Thursday. We spent a while in Cabela's, waiting on them to run to the bank to get Allen's money, and finally left, with Allen treating us to Red Lobster for supper. We made it home, and Allen went with a co-worker up to one of the local bow shops to get his bow ready for this fall for elk hunting. Hayleigh and I stayed at the house for the few hours he was gone, and watched a movie and had popcorn. 

Wednesday was a BUSY day! We ended up at Best Buy, then went to McDonald's for a quick lunch, and then headed over to our first Baby Doctor appointment. I filled out the mounds of paperwork, then waited while Hayleigh had fun entertaining everyone in the office. They finally got me called back, first we weighed in... ughh! I was NOT looking forward to this since I had not weighed in since I was 6 1/2 wks along, and have been eating like a horse. Good news! I have lost 4 pounds since I was 6 1/2 wks along, making a total of 8 pounds total pregnancy- I had lost 4 pounds when I had to go to the doctor when I was 9 wks along with a bad sinus problem. So Yay! I'm to where I started when I was pregnant with Hayleigh, and I'm almost 1/2 way there! My blood pressure ended up being a little high, but I am sure it was from being soo nervous. When we got back to the room, I had a special bag waiting on me full of goodies, and magazines. Hayleigh had fun with that. I sat there with the nurse, while she gathered basic info from me, while Allen and Hayleigh sat there watching. I got a lovely gown, and the nurse made small talk and joked a little bit, when we were comparing my pregnancies. Apparently, I am not the only pregnant lady craving McDonald's fries! After the nurse left, I got my gown on, and was ready for my midwife, while Hayleigh played with the rolling stool. My midwife, Anita, finally came in. We were going to go ahead and do a pap test, and of course screen for STDS. I ended up not having to get the pap done, since I have had the same partner all of my life,  so I only have to get one every 3 years :)))) Yay! So, we did the other test, she asked questions, and then we got to listen to the baby's heartbeat....makes me want to cry every time. I guess I forget sometimes that I'm not just fat, and there really is something in there moving around. I feel this baby move, but not near as much as I did Hayleigh when I was this far along. The heartbeat was 160bpm. My guess is girl, but we are still hoping for a boy. Hayleigh was completely scared to death of what was going on with mommy on the table, and that swushy swish noise that was coming from the machine being pressed against mommy. She was crying, and we tried to comfort her, trying to tell her what we were listening to. I then found out that since I had preeclampsia with Hayleigh, I had a 30-50% chance for it happening again. And, they will not induce unless medically needed before 39 wks...so as much as I do not want to be induced again, I am now hoping that we have the same situation happen with this baby as we did when I was in labor with Hayleigh.. Allen was home, and I was dilated, and I started getting preeclampsia, so they induced at 37wks.. Otherwise, I am afraid Allen will not make it in time, and I will have a 10lb baby if I go full term. Anyway, after that, we got our next appointment scheduled- the gender ultrasound!!! I then got blood drawn, and that was it. I was exhausted after all of that- soo much excitement! We ended up going home, and eating left overs, relaxing the rest of the evening. 

Thursday, we went back to the DMV first thing, and was still waiting for 2 hours, before leaving with Allen passing his hazmat test, and us having to come back with birth certificates- my original was not good enough, and since we moved from Illinois, they would not accept our driver's licenses as a valid id- LONG STORY about Illinois being 1 of only 6 states that doesn't follow proper federal guidelines. SO, now we wait on that until Allen is back home again. He had to order a new birth certificate anyway. Then, we went and got lunch- I was starving! We decided to go home, and get Hayleigh a nap. After Hayleigh was up from her nap, we were going to go grab supper, but the truck would not start. After doing a lot of research, and phone calls, Allen found the problem, and since it was after 5pm, we would have to wait until the next day to get the part he needed. So, instead of going out, we cooked pork tenderloin with all of the fixings, and stayed in. 

Friday, Allen got up early, tracked down the part, had one of his co-workers stop by and take him to the parts store, and bring him back. It ended up being a fuel pump control module- with Allen fixing it himself, we ended up saving over $300. He got the part for $106 with tax- when Ford wanted $150 to diagnosis and $150 for the part, not counting the tow bill we would have had. Allen got the part on, I helped him jack the spare tire back up- it was under the spare, and started up the truck without a hitch. We then headed into town, to get some grocery shopping done, and gathered some stuff up to make a dessert to take to a cook out we were invited to that evening. We ended up getting lunch at Sonic again- surprise surprise... hit Lowes, to get weed killer, and bolts, to bolt our sectional together, since it wants to slide on the hardwood floor. After getting home, Hayleigh got her nap in, Allen sprayed weeds, I got the groceries put away, and we took care of the sectional. We relaxed for a few hours, and then got ready for the cook out. Had a good time at the cook out- got to meet a few more people- always a plus! Hayleigh had a great time in the small kiddie pool, and ended up hamming it up with everyone- being the cute stinker she can be. I swear my mom has ruined her! She spent majority of the time picking up sticks.... sigh.. Anyway, had great food and company, and went home to relax the rest of the evening. 

Saturday, we got around and had lunch at the other Flying Rooster location, with some friends, and then ran around town, then made our way out to the Fruita Dessert. Had a good driver, then it was back home, to get Allen packed up and ready to leave out early this morning. 

In the midst of the week, we decided to push Hayleigh's birthday party, and us going home back a month. Just from Allen's schedule, and wanting everything to flow just right, we decided it was the best thing to do. I know people are upset with this, but we cannot walk on water, and this is just the way it has to be. Allen is moving camps again this weekend, and his schedule is not set on when he will be in, so, it was best to wait until we have a set schedule to buy plane tickets to go back to Illinois. I don't think some people fully understand just how hard this is to do, going back to Illinois, or realize what all is involved in being back for the week- ends up being 4 days there after traveling. I am pregnant, we will be driving 3 1/2 hours to Denver as soon as Allen gets in to fly out, and we have a toddler. Allen will not get time to relax, because as soon as we are back, there will be a mountain of to do things waiting, people wanting to visit with us, etc.. I realize 4 days is not good enough for most people back home, but it is all we have. I just wish they all could quit complaining, about the amount of time we have, and be happy we will just be there, after all of the work that goes into just spending 4 days there. The other thing that makes me upset, is my mom cannot accept the fact we are here, and we are happy- adjusting, but happy for the most part. There is a lot less stress here, and things move at a more relaxed pace- people drive 55 mph on the highway- the speed limit is 55 mph... Mom is worried that Hayleigh will not remember her, or anyone else, or that everyone is missing out on seeing Hayleigh. Like I've said before, there are planes, trains, and automobiles... everyone can come to us- just as easy- maybe even easier than us coming to them. Why should we be the ones that have to do all of the traveling, when we are trying to settle, and take care of our family, and new baby on the way. Mom's concern and apparently a few other's is that I should have stayed in Illinois with Hayleigh, and made Allen fly back and forth- making it easy for them, and harder on Allen. I feel it is not fair to Allen, just to make it easy for everyone to see Hayleigh, and come and get her when ever they want. I am sorry, but besides the cost and time required for Allen to travel, is ridiculous, and we are MARRIED. We will go with Allen where ever he is- or where ever we need to be to be closer to him. Our priority is OUR FAMILY- Me, Allen, Hayleigh, and the new baby. I am getting sick of hearing from my mom everyone else's complaints about us moving- when they won't  say anything to us about it. Really!?? Thanks for supporting us! I know everyone wants us to come back to Illinois, but I don't think that will happen- if ever. Allen was off for 6 months looking for a good stable job- was there any? NO. Is there plenty of jobs out here??? YES. Does this all mean we will never go back to Illinois to visit? NO, but we are also not in another country as well. While we miss everyone from back home, Colorado is now our home- whether anyone likes it or not. Colorado has brought us here through opportunities, which some may not get, but it is our home, and we really like the area- and do not miss the O Town drama not one bit! 

Monday, June 4, 2012

Night Time Tidbits, pregnancy, friends, toddlers....

Well, tonight, I cannot sleep, once again. So, I'm anticipating a busy week ahead- Allen will be home in the morning and be here all week, I am guessing my blogging will probably be MIA for the week.

Today, Hayleigh decided it would be fun to decorate a few walls by herself, with my ink pen.... it has not all come off yet, and I'm thinking this week, while organizing the garage, I will be looking for the extra paint left over to touch up the walls- I scrubbed soo much on them, the paint was starting to come off. I usually do try really hard to keep ink pens out of reach and sight for Hayleigh, but this time she crawled up on top of the bar stool, and got the diaper bag off of the middle of the bar, got into my wallet, took the pen, and $10 in cash - the pen and the $$ have not been located yet, but the cap has been found. While cleaning up the mess, Hayleigh comes up to me jabbering about her work, I get firm with her, telling her just how mad mommy is at her for what she done, and she is not to do that again. She pouted, and rubbed her eyes, like she was crying- this is a new thing if I get after her, I can tell that mommy really has hurt her feelings. She was fine after a few minutes, and of course, it kills me for her to be like that- smart girl... Anyway, I did hug her and tell her I love her, she then proceeded to show me 2 other walls she wrote on as well. I did ask her where the pen and the money were, but she would not budge on those. So, sometime this week, the toys will be gone through, and my closet- the last two places I think she was after the crime, and I did find the cap in the play room by the toys- I just didn't want to let her out of my sight again. Funny- she did this all while I was in the kitchen, and she was just on the other side of the wall. I thought she was just rubbing the night light against the wall. Ohh well... I'm sure there are worse things to come.

Besides that, and fighting with my dishwasher and washing machine about them not working correctly- my landlord will be getting another nice message about them again this week... We mowed the back yard tonight, filled the pond up with water again- a weekly must, and did laundry. I've tried to get the house clean and ready for Allen to see, since he hasn't seen it with everything put up and organized yet.

I'm getting really excited about our first doctors appointment on Wednesday- hopefully we can find out what we are having! I'm rounding out in the middle now, and you know to tell you the truth, if I could be this pregnant all of the time, I would be completely happy! No nausea, no aches or pains really, I can still be sort of limber, I look pregnant- not just fat, I can eat just about anything I want, and I can feel the baby move. It is great! When I'm this pregnant, I feel soo much more beautiful. There is just something about being nice and round, while growing a baby, that makes you feel soo good- must be the glow or something... Anyway, I love looking like this- no need to suck it in, or think dear God, I look awful, and just fat- no baby in there= no excuse. Well, I have an excuse, and it is a really good one. So, I would love to be like this all of the time- let the belly all hang out! lol. I realize that this time around, since I was soo stretched out with having Hayleigh- I carried her high, that this time around I would show a lot earlier than I did with her. I'm to the point now that I don't care. I'm happy, the baby is healthy, and Hayleigh is happy. Allen is also happy, least I not forget, and I'm just trying to cherish this all, because this is 99.9% the last baby we will have. That makes me really sad when I think about it. Makes me feel old, not thinking of having more babies... I want to have sanity, and I know me, and I know that being a mother of more than 2- would really be pushing me thin... I do not have the patience for that many, even though we originally wanted to have 3. But, I know I would be a better mom if we just stopped at 2. I'll have a 16wk photo on Wednesday, with Allen here to take a picture for me. Don't judge me! I'm happy and fat, and round... I'm probably carrying a potential 9 lb baby... I'm thinking this one will be big, and right on time- probably with the help of being induced will be my guess. I know after the baby gets here, I have to take care of myself, and I will get into better shape than I did after Hayleigh- hopefully like I was right before Hayleigh.

Did I mention just how excited I am that Allen will be here in the morning??? I know! It seems like he has been gone for a month this time! These past few weeks dragged on and on.. and I think it was just about as hard as not seeing him for almost 2 months. I know it will get better once we get into a routine, and we meet more people- which I'm excited to say, I've meet another couple... well, kind of . I meet the husband, and have been texting the wife. Long story is all I have to say, but Allen will have a hunting buddy, to help him with elk hunting, and everything else out here, and I will have a fellow mom friend with an 18 mo little boy, that is in the same boat I am in here- a long way from home, no friends or family here, our husbands both work for the same company, and just someone else to relate to. I'm excited about meeting her in person, but from what I can tell by texts, she is a lot like me too. Meeting people, really helps with being here alone most of the time. Most of the time, I am not motivated to be out doing all kinds of stuff, because I know come 4-5 months from now, I will be soo busy, wishing I had the chance to lounge around, being sleep deprived, and just frazzled is what my guess is. I'm just thankful that this baby will be coming at the end of fall, beginning of winter time- we will be cooped up in the house anyway, so, I won't feel soo bad not going outside with Hayleigh all of the time, or her missing out on doing activities, because we are stuck at home with the new baby. I'm scared of taking a newborn out with a two and a half year old. I doubt if we will go many places, unless Allen is with us. I can already imagine it all now- and it is scary. I know people do it all of the time, but, I feel safe, secure, and comfortable at home, and that is probably where we will stay most of the time.

I know we will be okay- it will just take time to adjust to it all, just like it is right now. Rome wasn't built in a day.....

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Day Dreaming of Baby M #2

I'm up late once again, thinking... it seems to be the only time I can really do this all to my self. I was listening to our iTunes once again, and just listening to songs that make me remember things, usually sets me off and gets me thinking. I was listening to Rascal Flatts tonight, and my play list hit Here, Stand, My Wish, and I Melt.. all four of those songs bring me to important places in my life. I Melt came out right before Allen and I got married- I believe it was #1 on the charts on the day we did get married. On the song Stand, it helped me through one of the most tough places I've ever been in my life- we were trying for Hayleigh, and after 5 years of being married, and one failed IUI round, I about hit rock bottom. I was mad at the world, at God, at my body for letting me down. That song got me through it all- after debating whether or not to go ahead two months later with what would end up being our last IUI round, that song was there in my mind- I had to be strong and make it through, and it paid off. That song still brings tears to my eyes- I listened to it a lot while pregnant with Hayleigh, along with My Wish, and Here. After Hayleigh was born, all of those three songs I really cherished and hung onto.

So, while listening to those songs, I remember back to before I was even pregnant with Hayleigh- while giving myself one of my nightly concoctions of infertility drugs, I sat there wondering what my kids' faces would look like, would we have boys, or girls, or one of each? Who would they act like, and what color of hair would they have? I was sold on dark hair- and ended up being dead wrong on that. Those thoughts continued after we found out I was finally pregnant with Hayleigh, and I caught myself day dreaming about it a lot- I had dreams at night about having a really big baby girl, with dark hair, and lots of it too- all curly. When Hayleigh was born, I couldn't figure out who she looked like- at first we thought she looked like my sister, but later it was very clear she was her daddy's girl over and over. I remember lying there on that hospital bed, looking at her, just after she was born, completely dumbfounded trying to get a good look at her- I was completely exhausted, and excited at the same time, I couldn't concentrate. Everyone kept going on about how perfect she was- I was thinking well, yeah... and I hadn't ever really seen newborns with any strawberries or bruises - they always all looked perfect to me too. After a few months, I saw just why everyone was making all of the remarks they did. I saw pictures of a baby, whose poor face was completely bruised BAD! I then thought how lucky we were she didn't have any marks or anything.

Now, I worry about that, and I sit and wonder if this baby will look like their older sister- Hayleigh, or be kind of what I had hoped for after Hayleigh was born, and we saw red hair. I always wanted 2 girls, but now, I don't know- just another healthy baby would make me completely happy. Anyway, after Hayleigh's red hair, I hoped that whatever we had on our next and last baby, that they would have dark hair and complexion like me. I got that from watching Practical Magic- the women in that family had girls, one red head, and one dark haired. I was sure that would be us.. the next would look like me, since Hayleigh looks like Allen. I kind of laugh now, in anticipation, I think this baby is a boy- I'm just getting fat all over- not like I did with Hayleigh. Anyway, I wonder if we do have a boy, if he will look like me more. Kind of funny, a little girl that looks like her daddy, and a little boy that looks like his mama. So, now I dream of that kind of. To tell you the truth, besides having a healthy baby, I would be tickled to have either a boy or a girl, but girls are soo much fun! The accessories, headbands, painted toe nails, purses, baby dolls, are just soo sweet- boys have GI Joes, and I don't know what ever else is out there now. Not soo exciting for me. I've dreamed of Allen having tea parties with his two girls, and them doing his hair while he is asleep, just like me and Magen did when we were little. But, I remember the fighting that came with having a sister- I realize that it is probably the same with brother- sister siblings, but, we will just have to wait to find out. Anyway, I do know what our little boy will be wearing if I have anything to do with it. At Kohl's they have these little Ralph Lauren Chaps long sleeved plaid shirts and jeans- ohhh sooo cute! I made the remark while shopping for Hayleigh that if we ever did have a boy- I would dress him in those kind of clothes all of the time! Allen would probably have some under armour stuff for him too, or even her is to be expected.

I don't honestly know what we are having- I don't have a gut feeling this time- a lot of people are saying boy, and the way I'm packing, I would guess boy too. I just hope we get to find out this coming Wednesday what we are having, so we can start shopping for this little person. I'm praying for a healthy baby the most right now, because whether it's Pink or Blue, they will be loved just the same.