About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Is it Friday Yet?

Post From Wednesday I did not get published:

Today has been quite the day already. It has all started with me hardly sleeping last night, worrying about lots of things going on right now, followed by being up every other hour with Hayleigh. I had to keep getting up and putting her paci back in her mouth. I finally found out just why she was stirring all night- poor girl peed through a diaper, pooped in it, and soaked her sleeper and sheets. UGGHHH! I never did flip the light on when I checked on her everytime I got up with her, because we have a light set up in her window, which puts off just enough light to see just enough in the dark like a night light. Hayleigh was not crying, just kind of wimpering, after I would replace the paci, she would fall back to sleep. If I would have only known that the problem was the diaper and the mess, poor girl would have slept a lot better, and me along with her.

We went to Hayleigh's 6 month checkup yesterday, with good reports all around. Hayleigh weighed 17 lbs 6 oz, and is now 26 1/4" long, fitting her into the 75th percentile. Her head, which we think is a little big, measured 34 cm which was right at the 50th percentile, which shocked me. The doctor remarked that Hayleigh is developing very well, no set backs from being born 3 wks early, and is at the top of her developments for her age group. She can roll over both ways, coo and make "noises" sucking  and popping and a growl/gargle sound, she can walk with assist, sit up on her own, with supervision, walk forwards and backwards in her stroller, and scoot.The things we are to watch for now are her passing objects from hand to hand- I have witnessed a few times, but, it is not a steady thing yet, and babbling maamaamaa daaadaaadaa. These will come soon enough! We were given the okay to start her on meat now too, which is exciting, I just wish she would break a tooth through so we can start on other foods. Hayeigh had even attempted to "army crawl" the other night. We go back for her 9 month appointment next in 3 months.

The last month has been quite rough. I got my first fever blister from worrying, mainly about my Grandma, whom Hayleigh is named for. She has been in and out of the hospital soo many times now. Every time she goes in it is to drain fluid off of her chest, and it has been getting worse as time passes. She is no longer optimistic, but, looks sad, and doesn't say much anymore. My mom and I don't see her making it past this summer with how her health has been for the last few months, which is hard to swallow. I just wish we had more time with her than that. I really wanted for Hayleigh to be able to remember her, which I know is not going to happen. I am just grateful that we were blessed with Hayleigh while Grandma is still here, and that we could name Hayleigh for her.

Monday, December 27, 2010

My Prerogative of Life

I know it has been quite a while since I've gotten to write on here. Work has been extra busy, and it seems like the weekends pass with the blink of an eye. A bit of a recap for everyone... Hayleigh will be 6 months old on Thursday ALREADY!! She can roll over, walk backwards and FORWARDS in her walker now, walk with someone holding her hands, eat baby food with no problems of her tongue getting in the way, and is now reaching out to everyone instead of crying. I cannot believe how fast time has flown by.

Christmas was great! It made me very happy, and very sad at the same time. I cannot tell you the joy I felt buying my daughter her first Christmas present. I bawled in Hallmark, picking out cards to give out, reading all of them that I could. I know some people in there thought I was a bit emotional, but, I cannot help it. We got a white Christmas to boot too! 3 inches of fluffy white snow on Christmas Eve. Hayleigh got to try out her infant sled we had got her on Christmas day in my mom's yard. It is amazing just how different it is to go from a family of just Allen and I, to having Hayleigh in the mix. Everything has been more special, and some people have actually grown closer to us with having Hayleigh here.

Christmas shopping this year was actually enjoyable for once. I think we got the closest to getting it right this year out of all years. Allen and I received way more than  we asked for- Christmas was mainly for Hayleigh this year, not us, but, it was still nice that some people actually remembered us too!

With New Year's right around the corner, I find myself with every passing year, trying to understand people more, and trying to be a better person, ending up usually disappointed with what I find, and sometimes a little surprised with how things turn out. I have found that to me Christmas time is a really good time to get a good gage of just how people really feel about you. It is the thought that counts to me, instead of the amount spent on presents. Some things I just shake my head at, and say to myself, really? But, I do find myself being very grateful for the other times someone goes out of their way to make something special, or really takes the time to make you feel special. I guess you just learn to appreciate the people who really listen to you throughout the year that remember what you said way back in the beginning of the year. There are always a few people who really try, and then the ones who just slap together a few things and say "tada!" It is not the fact that I am not grateful for being given a gift, but, the fact that we really took the time to think about and get something special for someone, and them in return giving you something you just had lying around the house.

Every year I find myself depressed over getting my hopes up that someday a certain select few will finally open their arms and actually accept us as family, instead of inviting us over for left overs of a Christmas Get together, while their other family is leaving after having their "real" Christmas. I know I love the quote Eleanor Roosevelt gives- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but, it is pretty darn hard to ignore a billboard sitting right smack dab in front of your nose, and not notice it, or let it get to you. It just really makes me feel like I am not really a part of my own family sometimes. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am just waiting to finally "fit" into my own family.

What gets me the most is that now that I have my own little family, I would never want anyone, not even my own daughter, to feel like she is not welcome, or an after thought. I want her to know every day just how special she is and always will be, no matter what happens in life. She will always be our baby.