I am still up tonight- it is 12:30... I have a heavy heart, and I would love to spill it all out on here, and get it off my chest, but I have other things on my mind that I can spill instead.
It's funny how one random thing can open a flood gate of feelings, and new decisions. During Allen's last rotation before we moved, his coworkers got the brilliant idea to cut each others hair at work. To all get mowhawks.... He at least called me to inform me and ask if it was okay to get one- like a good hubby should. I don't know why it made me soo stinking mad. I love his hair the way it is, and I know it is just hair, and it will grow back. I am not a mowhawk fan. I started bartering with him, trying to sway his decision on the whole matter. It ranged from I'll get my hair cut- he is very opposed to this, to losing special privileges, to getting my nose pierced- which that one floored me he actually was all for that. I finally whipped out something buried deep down. Something I had secretly been considering, but was awaiting the right moment to say something. My heart has been heavy on this for the past few months. I've waited to see how I would feel before even saying anything, making sure it was something that I really would want to do. In a moment that felt like I threw my heart out and had an out of body experience, I told him, Fine, I want another baby. There, I said it. He got quiet, then squeaked Really? I said matter of factly, YES. That was it- my big bomb that I tried pulling off as a joke in a way that kind of really came across as being honest. I finally told him to get his stupid hair cut, in fear he would be taunted from the Prudy wife at home telling him what he couldn't do. I stewed over that hair cut for hours that day. He finally sent me pictures, and I tried playing tough cookie with him about it, and ended up making him feel bad for getting it done- my goal. But then I felt bad for him feeling bad, so I shot myself in the foot. Finally after cooling off, waiting on the Excursion to get the oil changed, he sends me some texts. He told me how much he loved me, and then asked if I was serious about the whole baby bit. I said Yes, because I was still protesting a little bit. Mind you this is on the eve of us leaving Illinois. I was already nervous about pulling a trailer by myself with both kids over 1000 miles away. I knew deep down I could do it, but there were a few that kept doubting me.
Anyway, we ended up going to the fair. Allen was down in the dumps because I made him feel bad, and he was really missing us- nervous for me for the trip ahead too. We finally got to talk on the phone again. I told him the hair cut was fine, it's just hair, and I was sorry for making him feel bad about it all. He then asked about the baby bit again. He asked if I was really serious. I told him that I had secretly been thinking about it. Feeling like we were not complete- like one of us was still waiting to get here. I told him I have to be crazy for thinking that after having the colicky baby from hell- Lord only knows what we would get next time... an over 10 lb baby with even more issues. He laughed and told me I wasn't crazy. He had been thinking the same thing too for the past couple of weeks. He missed the baby bump like I had. What's funny is that when we first got married, we agreed we both wanted 3 kids. It didn't matter what we had as long as they were healthy and hopefully we would have at least a boy and a girl. 10 years later..... it's starting to surface again, after swearing we were done. Now, Reid was not planned - the big free surprise, and after having him without having to go back to an infertility clinic was a blessing. I doubt if we would go back to one now even still. But, the fact still remains we are not sure what's in store for us. While I can name at least 10 reasons not to have another one, I can come up with an equal number on why to have another.
I know there are probably 2 people out there that I know of IF they read this, thinking, Great! Go ahead and have another, just so you can stay home while Allen works his butt of. To you people I say if you are reading this, I would in a heartbeat go and get a job if Allen asked me to. I have volunteered soo many times to, and he has told me no every time. I plan on having an income coming in by the time the kids are in school- hopefully before. But, I am not taking advantage of my husband and sitting home on my ass doing nothing. I take care of this family whether I am contributing financially or not. What we have and the way we run our marriage works for us. I do miss working outside the home. I miss having that guaranteed break, but I LOVE spending my days taking care of our kids and the household duties I can do to make it easier on Allen. I LOVE that I can stay home and teach our kids new things every day, and watch them grow and do new things. I wish Allen could do it to, and I would gladly tag in and let him stay home for 6 months, or even every 3 months, then trade off again, just so he could witness everything as well.
Anyway, I've been going though the kids baby clothes, getting them ready to take back to Illinois in a few weeks with me to store at my mom's house- this in it'self doesn't help any either. We are not getting rid of any of the clothes- saving it back for my sister, or the maybe baby that could happen in our family yet someday. When that day does come that we can say we are certainly done, I will start getting rid of the rest of the baby stuff. I just don't want to jump in and say no more, then down the road a few years, think we made a mistake. So maybe baby, maybe not.. Only time will tell on if we will add another chapter in our lives once again.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Two in Diapers - How We Got Out...
So, several of my friends are in the midst of potty training their toddlers now, with some trying to get this task completed before the new baby comes.Two in Diapers is not fun...ask me how that goes... I was there for a month.
We are obviously not there anymore. Hayleigh has been potty trained since Reid was a month old, and hasn't had to have a diaper for night time for the past 4 months. On two hands, I can count accidents she has had, but that is pretty much it- 10 or less.
I think the biggest part of the whole potty training bit that makes it or breaks it- prolonging your kiddo in diapers is... YOU.. That's right, you. It all depends on how seriously you take it all. The biggest key to it all in my opinion no matter what method you do is consistency and being strict about it all. If you are not putting your foot down, making it not an easy time for your toddler to wet their pants- making life hard at that moment, and if you stay consistent with working with them, I believe you can achieve success. A part of achieving this is you need to stop diapers cold turkey. Like a band aid - rip that puppy off. Pull ups in my opinion give toddlers an easy way out- they can wet themselves, no big deal. They are after all another form of a diaper. The child cannot feel themselves wet themselves in those things. I think they are really a big waste of money. Now, you might use them at night until your toddler can make it through the night with no accidents for a month- that was our key. Once you hit that, the diapers go completely away.
I dabbled with putting Hayleigh on the pot before Reid was born, and she didn't have a care in the world about it. She like flushing the potty, but that was it. I was sitting there scared to death that I would have two in diapers, and I did... It was like a big assembly line to me. Change the newborn, then change Hayleigh. Diapers to me are the easy way out. You go on a trip, you are not constantly stopping, or just going out in public. We make at least 1 stop to the bathroom when we go out, regardless if Hayleigh just went right before we left. It is annoying, but I am happy she is potty trained. Anyway, back to dabbling.. it scared me. I thought how in the heck do you get a toddler to sit on the potty and actually learn to go on it? It's not like training a puppy- smack them with a newspaper while yelling no, does not work with a toddler. I'm pretty sure child services would be called to your house if you actually did that.
I started researching what worked for people and what did not out there. The one the stuck in my mind, and still does was a mom and her little girl. The girl would regress at night when she wore pull ups. When she wore underwear, she was fine. The mom finally sit down and asked her why? The little girl told her because she could when she was in pull ups, so she did. That right there did it. I read so many different ways, and my nurse while I was having Reid told me the same deal. There is a book out she had read, but same concept. Go without any diapers, and stay home for a week- work straight on it. She told me how she wanted to give up, and there was mess after mess the first day. But, but the third day, it was much better. I was still scared to try this all.
What finally clicked with me one day was how I broke Hayleigh from her paci and from her bottle- COLD TURKEY. I finally got fed up with it all- the paci. She caught me in a hormonal mess one night when I was hurting from pregnancy pain from Reid. Hayleigh always slept with a paci. ALWAYS. Well, one night I didn't feel like searching the house top to bottom for a flipping paci. I told her if she couldn't find one, then it was tough cookies. She maybe cried for 5 minutes, I went in and did the not so great thing, but I yelled at her. I made it tough on her. I told her if she couldn't find her paci, the paci was gone. Mommy was not running to the store for a new one. She would have to make it through the night without. I got up a few more times, stressing my point. You know what happened? She forgot all about the paci by night #2. So, I realized from thinking back to that, I had to make things uncomfortable or hard for her.
One day, I was determined to do this. I brought her out to the living room, because I was not about to live in the bathroom. My mom suggested giving her lots to drink, then sitting her on the pot every 20 minutes. Well, the bad thing about this for us was she would sit, and not do anything... 5 minutes later- she would pee her training pants. I finally at my wits end- mainly due to colicky baby, decided to strip her pants off, bring that potty chair in the living room, put a towel under it, and make her sit on it until she peed. The pattern I found was she was peeing during her shows. She would get so into them, she would forget what we were doing. Day one of this, I had to bribe her with candy that she picked to sit on the potty. For every time she peed, she got a good gob of candy. I made it a great thing. If she peed her pants, she got her butt smacked once and a good stern talking to- I made it really tough on her. It was hard for me, but I kept on it. Day two came, and we were doing better. She would sit on the potty, but I had to really shell out the candy for sitting on it and for going on it. Day two I thought to myself that this would be the way it would be for months, and I was ready to say screw it, and put her back in diapers. Taking care of a newborn at the same time was crazy, but I did it. Day 3 came, and it was like someone flipped a switch. She was sitting on the potty through her 20 min shows on Disney Jr, and after them, she was dumping her pot in the toilet. I did not teach her to dump it. She did it all on her own when I told her to wait a minute because I was in the middle of cooking, and here she come packing her pot insert and heading straight to the potty to dump and flush it. After seeing that, I was one of the proudest moms in the whole world! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
After that, we kept up with naked bottoms for a few weeks, gradually moving to underwear. Hayleigh had problems getting them pulled down, then back up. We finally moved to underwear though, and managed to venture out and about, making several potty breaks, and limiting drink intake for her. We kept on her strong. For every accident she had, I did not say it's okay- unless it was my fault on not getting her to a potty quick enough. I didn't listen to her a few times. For those I told her it was not her fault. The others though, she got a smack on her butt, and me talking stern to her about how we do not pee our pants.
I felt like I was being a mean mom though the whole deal, but we can't be our kid's friends all the time. We have to be their parents, and make them do things for their own good, whether we like it or not. Hang in there Momma, it will get better. I realize that I have had it easy with Hayleigh. I have a few friends that started their babies out at a year, and guess what?? They are still not out of diapers. Some kids take longer, but if you hang in there, and stick to your guns, be determined, stay consistent with them, I PROMISE you will be out of diapers! Find what works for you and run with it to the potty!
We are obviously not there anymore. Hayleigh has been potty trained since Reid was a month old, and hasn't had to have a diaper for night time for the past 4 months. On two hands, I can count accidents she has had, but that is pretty much it- 10 or less.
I think the biggest part of the whole potty training bit that makes it or breaks it- prolonging your kiddo in diapers is... YOU.. That's right, you. It all depends on how seriously you take it all. The biggest key to it all in my opinion no matter what method you do is consistency and being strict about it all. If you are not putting your foot down, making it not an easy time for your toddler to wet their pants- making life hard at that moment, and if you stay consistent with working with them, I believe you can achieve success. A part of achieving this is you need to stop diapers cold turkey. Like a band aid - rip that puppy off. Pull ups in my opinion give toddlers an easy way out- they can wet themselves, no big deal. They are after all another form of a diaper. The child cannot feel themselves wet themselves in those things. I think they are really a big waste of money. Now, you might use them at night until your toddler can make it through the night with no accidents for a month- that was our key. Once you hit that, the diapers go completely away.
I dabbled with putting Hayleigh on the pot before Reid was born, and she didn't have a care in the world about it. She like flushing the potty, but that was it. I was sitting there scared to death that I would have two in diapers, and I did... It was like a big assembly line to me. Change the newborn, then change Hayleigh. Diapers to me are the easy way out. You go on a trip, you are not constantly stopping, or just going out in public. We make at least 1 stop to the bathroom when we go out, regardless if Hayleigh just went right before we left. It is annoying, but I am happy she is potty trained. Anyway, back to dabbling.. it scared me. I thought how in the heck do you get a toddler to sit on the potty and actually learn to go on it? It's not like training a puppy- smack them with a newspaper while yelling no, does not work with a toddler. I'm pretty sure child services would be called to your house if you actually did that.
I started researching what worked for people and what did not out there. The one the stuck in my mind, and still does was a mom and her little girl. The girl would regress at night when she wore pull ups. When she wore underwear, she was fine. The mom finally sit down and asked her why? The little girl told her because she could when she was in pull ups, so she did. That right there did it. I read so many different ways, and my nurse while I was having Reid told me the same deal. There is a book out she had read, but same concept. Go without any diapers, and stay home for a week- work straight on it. She told me how she wanted to give up, and there was mess after mess the first day. But, but the third day, it was much better. I was still scared to try this all.
What finally clicked with me one day was how I broke Hayleigh from her paci and from her bottle- COLD TURKEY. I finally got fed up with it all- the paci. She caught me in a hormonal mess one night when I was hurting from pregnancy pain from Reid. Hayleigh always slept with a paci. ALWAYS. Well, one night I didn't feel like searching the house top to bottom for a flipping paci. I told her if she couldn't find one, then it was tough cookies. She maybe cried for 5 minutes, I went in and did the not so great thing, but I yelled at her. I made it tough on her. I told her if she couldn't find her paci, the paci was gone. Mommy was not running to the store for a new one. She would have to make it through the night without. I got up a few more times, stressing my point. You know what happened? She forgot all about the paci by night #2. So, I realized from thinking back to that, I had to make things uncomfortable or hard for her.
One day, I was determined to do this. I brought her out to the living room, because I was not about to live in the bathroom. My mom suggested giving her lots to drink, then sitting her on the pot every 20 minutes. Well, the bad thing about this for us was she would sit, and not do anything... 5 minutes later- she would pee her training pants. I finally at my wits end- mainly due to colicky baby, decided to strip her pants off, bring that potty chair in the living room, put a towel under it, and make her sit on it until she peed. The pattern I found was she was peeing during her shows. She would get so into them, she would forget what we were doing. Day one of this, I had to bribe her with candy that she picked to sit on the potty. For every time she peed, she got a good gob of candy. I made it a great thing. If she peed her pants, she got her butt smacked once and a good stern talking to- I made it really tough on her. It was hard for me, but I kept on it. Day two came, and we were doing better. She would sit on the potty, but I had to really shell out the candy for sitting on it and for going on it. Day two I thought to myself that this would be the way it would be for months, and I was ready to say screw it, and put her back in diapers. Taking care of a newborn at the same time was crazy, but I did it. Day 3 came, and it was like someone flipped a switch. She was sitting on the potty through her 20 min shows on Disney Jr, and after them, she was dumping her pot in the toilet. I did not teach her to dump it. She did it all on her own when I told her to wait a minute because I was in the middle of cooking, and here she come packing her pot insert and heading straight to the potty to dump and flush it. After seeing that, I was one of the proudest moms in the whole world! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
After that, we kept up with naked bottoms for a few weeks, gradually moving to underwear. Hayleigh had problems getting them pulled down, then back up. We finally moved to underwear though, and managed to venture out and about, making several potty breaks, and limiting drink intake for her. We kept on her strong. For every accident she had, I did not say it's okay- unless it was my fault on not getting her to a potty quick enough. I didn't listen to her a few times. For those I told her it was not her fault. The others though, she got a smack on her butt, and me talking stern to her about how we do not pee our pants.
I felt like I was being a mean mom though the whole deal, but we can't be our kid's friends all the time. We have to be their parents, and make them do things for their own good, whether we like it or not. Hang in there Momma, it will get better. I realize that I have had it easy with Hayleigh. I have a few friends that started their babies out at a year, and guess what?? They are still not out of diapers. Some kids take longer, but if you hang in there, and stick to your guns, be determined, stay consistent with them, I PROMISE you will be out of diapers! Find what works for you and run with it to the potty!
Monday, July 22, 2013
Settling Down
So, it's been a while... a good 3 weeks at least. I know, I know... shame on me! I've been busy of course! I moved the kids with a 14' trailer we borrowed of a friends, and drove ourselves to Denver to meet Allen for him to drive the rest of the 4 hour trip in. After pulling that trailer by myself, I am convinced I can do just about anything. I'm glad that my husbands and our friends had a lot of faith in me because there were lots of people who did not.
We are now all moved in. I just pretty much have the garage to go through and start on babying the yard. I've been on weed patrol today, and I'm beat. Yesterday, we ventured out to the Walmart closest to us, and I managed to pick up a swimming pool for the kids, and sidewalk chalk- all in a scheme to keep them busy and happy in the back yard while I deweeded the landscaping.
The inside of the house I am pretty much happy with the way I have it so far. I'm now to the point of the unpacking that is not fun anymore- the non decorating part. I like the layout of this house better than the Fruita house, but I miss the health of the back yard of the Fruita house. I think that is all really miss about that house. I love having carpet again- I hated hardwood floors. Hayleigh busted her lip on the 4th of July last year dancing on it. It was a pain to keep clean- everything slid across the floor and under the couch and tables.
Hayleigh is now also graduated into a big girl bed. She is in her very own full sized bed! She has been doing great so far on it, and has not run to my bed scared in the middle of the night- like I had thought she would do after co rooming with me for the past few months.
She has also started to go potty all by herself now too! YES!!! I am soo proud of her! Reid has also started to take multiple naps through the day too. Once in the morning, and once in the afternoon. Praise God!! Now, if only Hayleigh would take a nap in the afternoon, I would have more time to myself besides the night owl hours.
We are now on a mission to all lose some weight- or get in better shape. Allen has joined a gym, and I've started walking with the kids every evening. We have to walk to the mailbox everyday now, so out comes the double jogger with the kids in tow. They both really enjoy it, even though it has been kind of hot. We enjoy meeting the new neighbors, and kind of getting a feel for our new neighborhood too.
Other than all of the unpacking and keeping busy, I haven't had much time to really think about much of anything else. I wish some things were better than they are, I hope for some things to get better. For this moment I think I can really say that I am happy. I think the biggest relief is to be back to our own schedule, and own place once again, and not in limbo.
We are now all moved in. I just pretty much have the garage to go through and start on babying the yard. I've been on weed patrol today, and I'm beat. Yesterday, we ventured out to the Walmart closest to us, and I managed to pick up a swimming pool for the kids, and sidewalk chalk- all in a scheme to keep them busy and happy in the back yard while I deweeded the landscaping.
The inside of the house I am pretty much happy with the way I have it so far. I'm now to the point of the unpacking that is not fun anymore- the non decorating part. I like the layout of this house better than the Fruita house, but I miss the health of the back yard of the Fruita house. I think that is all really miss about that house. I love having carpet again- I hated hardwood floors. Hayleigh busted her lip on the 4th of July last year dancing on it. It was a pain to keep clean- everything slid across the floor and under the couch and tables.
Hayleigh is now also graduated into a big girl bed. She is in her very own full sized bed! She has been doing great so far on it, and has not run to my bed scared in the middle of the night- like I had thought she would do after co rooming with me for the past few months.
She has also started to go potty all by herself now too! YES!!! I am soo proud of her! Reid has also started to take multiple naps through the day too. Once in the morning, and once in the afternoon. Praise God!! Now, if only Hayleigh would take a nap in the afternoon, I would have more time to myself besides the night owl hours.
We are now on a mission to all lose some weight- or get in better shape. Allen has joined a gym, and I've started walking with the kids every evening. We have to walk to the mailbox everyday now, so out comes the double jogger with the kids in tow. They both really enjoy it, even though it has been kind of hot. We enjoy meeting the new neighbors, and kind of getting a feel for our new neighborhood too.
Other than all of the unpacking and keeping busy, I haven't had much time to really think about much of anything else. I wish some things were better than they are, I hope for some things to get better. For this moment I think I can really say that I am happy. I think the biggest relief is to be back to our own schedule, and own place once again, and not in limbo.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
One of THOSE kind of people
Today, it finally dawned on me... I am one of those kind of people. What kind you ask? WELL.... There are people who collect stuff and there are people who could care less about stuff and live pretty basic. I realized today after packing to go back out to Colorado that I have indeed collected quite a bit of stuff. Geesh! I am now having to tow a 14' trailer behind the excursion on our way back out now.... Yeah.... I know.
Now, to clarify MOST of the stuff is clothes- the kid's clothes, and more toys, and my mom's couch and love seat, and an entertainment center I found here I loved, and a 4' tall stuffed giraffe. I know the giraffe part is a little silly, BUT... it is the exact one I wanted for Hayleigh when she was born and got it 75% off, so I had to get it! ( I went through a giraffe phase when I was pregnant with her. It's a wonder her nursery was not done in giraffes)
So, here we are 3 days until we leave, and I am praying that everything fits in this trailer and in the back of the excursion. Luckily, we will be coming back a month later, and I can always pick up anything I could not fit, and again if needed for Halloween as long as I come back as planned.
So, yeah, I am a collector of stuff. I'm always looking for something we can use/need...more toys for the kids, clothes for them, stuff for Allen and I... I really need to stop. My Christmas tree is already overloaded... I have to put 2 up to get all my ornaments up. I can decorate a whole house for Christmas with everything I have..I have gone bananas on the Willow Tree figurines, and I still have a few more I would love to have- my curio cabinet my dad built can only hold so many... ugghhh! What is a girl to do?
I am also getting bad on pictures too.. IF I put up all the pictures I wanted, we would have every wall covered like a shrine to the kids in the house. That is bad... I guess I just need to invest in digital large frames that I can have them rotate pictures every now and then.
At least I guess I get it honest... my dad hoards guns, and reloading stuff, my mom is holidays, and I am a mix of the both and then some. I have 2 large totes of hunting apparel for just me, and I probably will not get to even go for another year or two.
You don't even want to know about baby clothes... I have yet to sell any of Hayleigh's, or Reid's for that matter, or even my maternity wardrobe.
I foresee a huge garage sale in our near future! I know the baby clothes will be condensed. I will be going through them and keep the meaningful ones in our cedar chest, and be sending the totes back to my mom for my sister to go through. Anything she doesn't want for the future someday will get sold. I honestly don't know if I can let go of those little clothes! I get really emotional about them when I see them, and smell them all. All smell of dreft baby detergent.
Yes, I confess, I am a hoarder with some OCD thrown into the mix. God help me!
So, what to do? I'm praying that I can get over the baby stuff, and move on. I've got to get rid of this baby fever first, and one of us <cough Allen> has to get fixed first. I don't want to get rid of the baby stuff and find out we are having another!
Anyone else have this problem out there? I hope I'm not the only one!!!
Now, to clarify MOST of the stuff is clothes- the kid's clothes, and more toys, and my mom's couch and love seat, and an entertainment center I found here I loved, and a 4' tall stuffed giraffe. I know the giraffe part is a little silly, BUT... it is the exact one I wanted for Hayleigh when she was born and got it 75% off, so I had to get it! ( I went through a giraffe phase when I was pregnant with her. It's a wonder her nursery was not done in giraffes)
So, here we are 3 days until we leave, and I am praying that everything fits in this trailer and in the back of the excursion. Luckily, we will be coming back a month later, and I can always pick up anything I could not fit, and again if needed for Halloween as long as I come back as planned.
So, yeah, I am a collector of stuff. I'm always looking for something we can use/need...more toys for the kids, clothes for them, stuff for Allen and I... I really need to stop. My Christmas tree is already overloaded... I have to put 2 up to get all my ornaments up. I can decorate a whole house for Christmas with everything I have..I have gone bananas on the Willow Tree figurines, and I still have a few more I would love to have- my curio cabinet my dad built can only hold so many... ugghhh! What is a girl to do?
I am also getting bad on pictures too.. IF I put up all the pictures I wanted, we would have every wall covered like a shrine to the kids in the house. That is bad... I guess I just need to invest in digital large frames that I can have them rotate pictures every now and then.
At least I guess I get it honest... my dad hoards guns, and reloading stuff, my mom is holidays, and I am a mix of the both and then some. I have 2 large totes of hunting apparel for just me, and I probably will not get to even go for another year or two.
You don't even want to know about baby clothes... I have yet to sell any of Hayleigh's, or Reid's for that matter, or even my maternity wardrobe.
I foresee a huge garage sale in our near future! I know the baby clothes will be condensed. I will be going through them and keep the meaningful ones in our cedar chest, and be sending the totes back to my mom for my sister to go through. Anything she doesn't want for the future someday will get sold. I honestly don't know if I can let go of those little clothes! I get really emotional about them when I see them, and smell them all. All smell of dreft baby detergent.
Yes, I confess, I am a hoarder with some OCD thrown into the mix. God help me!
So, what to do? I'm praying that I can get over the baby stuff, and move on. I've got to get rid of this baby fever first, and one of us <cough Allen> has to get fixed first. I don't want to get rid of the baby stuff and find out we are having another!
Anyone else have this problem out there? I hope I'm not the only one!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
.jpg)