About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

It's Good Enough in the Hole

Today has already started out rocky. It all started to waking up with a headache, then getting yelled at, screamed at, peed on, and it doesn't end there. We took a bag of clothes to a family in need this morning- something that should make you feel completely wonderful, but my balloon has been busted for the day I'm afraid. We got home and I checked the mailbox. We got a few Christmas cards, and 2 packages. One was Hayleigh's anywhere chair cover that I've been anxiously awaiting, the other a sweater for Missy. Neither one was the right size, and of course when I got online I found that I had been the one who ordered wrong. Oh, and it doesn't end there.

We just found out today that Allen will be only getting his one week off- making traveling back to Illinois impossible. Not only is it impossible, but Allen really doesn't want to spend his whole week traveling for just a day and a half to 2 days to relax for Christmas, and we are both at our wits end with having traveled back there 5 times this year, and none of our family traveling out here for us. Makes me feel real special. Traveling with 2 kids under the age of 3 is hard- so hard I don't think anyone really understands this especially since 4 out of the 5 of those trip were me solo. Flying has been the worst, but driving is tiring and the kids get stir crazy over the 19 hour drive one way. Not only is this all tiring, but it also gets expensive too, and Allen absolutely HATES me having to travel by myself, or that I'm doing all the traveling for everyone else. I understand that we moved here away from everyone else, BUT this is our home. Even IF I drove back with the kids by myself, and had Allen fly in, he would still only get 4 days with us for Christmas and I hate to see what airline tickets would even begin to cost now, and he is absolutely set on not traveling the whole week of Christmas to not get to enjoy it with the kids.

 I don't think many understand that we would love for them to come and visit us- Hayleigh would love to show her room off, and do things here since there are lots of things to do. But we sat here Thanksgiving with no family- just a few friends we have made here, and it will be the same with Christmas as well. It really would be nice for us to have our own Christmas in our own home.

I'm just ready to hide in a hole today. Nothing I have done lately seems to make anyone happy or seems to be good enough. I'm stretched beyond myself now, and I'm washing my hands of it all. I can only do so much, be so many places at once, and just be myself. If that is not good enough for everyone, they will just have to deal with it, because I'm tired of carrying it all on myself. I've sent emails with links to this since trying to tell everyone over the phone today would just result in people being mad and cranky with me. I really can't do anything about this all, I know how much it throws a kink in everyone's plans, but PLEASE for my sake of my sanity do not make this any harder on us than it has to be. The only thing we can do is to rearrange plans and move forward because I really don't want to spend the rest of the Christmas Season with people mad at us, and us sitting here trying to put on happy faces for the kids when our spirit isn't into it.

Monday, December 2, 2013

A Thankful Heart

Okay, it has been a REALLY LONG time, I know! I know! Since the time has passed, we have had a visit to Illinois, I have started using Plexus and selling it, Reid has turned 1 whole year old, Allen and I celebrated 10 years of marriage, and we have been preparing for Christmas. I know I missed ALL of November.

We have been soo busy, that the blog was the one that suffered. I've been looking and pinning soo much on Pinterest lately to make Christmas really great this year. I have crafts upon crafts for the kids to do, random acts of kindness in progress, and purchased our first Elf on a Shelf- plush edition one.

The kids and I have already been watching Christmas movies, baking cookies, and cleaning. Allen will soon be home in the morning, and it's like Christmas for me! We have really missed him, especially Thanksgiving. I have the Macy's parade recorded for him to watch with us- our tradition. This was the very first Thanksgiving we have ever spent apart. Last year Reid was just born, so we were able to be together since he was already home for Reid. Next year I believe if he is working, we will be bringing Thanksgiving to him. I thought of this of course the morning of Thanksgiving, otherwise we could have packed up and headed up to him.

We have our 3 Christmas trees up now, and the house is soo festive! This year I have been more at peace with things, and the Christmas spirit has really been strong for me. I'm getting excited over our random acts of kindness we will be doing. I have an infant coat with a couple of shirts on the Mom Swap page for our town, looking for someone in need right now. We donated to Salvation Army bell ringer at Walmart last night at Walmart when we went to leave. Of course Hayleigh and I had a talk with Reid- he's still young for this. Hayleigh and I talked about how other mommies and daddies of kids are having hard times right now, and don't have much food, warm clothes, and toys, and how donating the change we usually put in the piggy bank could help out, and help give Christmas to other kids and families. Makes me cry about it now as well as it did then. She was very concerned about other kids not having Christmas, and being cold and not having much food. Makes me soo proud of her for caring about others. I gave each of them the money we had saved, and we went straight up to the bell ringer. I first held Hayleigh up, and she put the money into the red pot, telling the bell ringer "There you go!" and he told her Thank you, to which my polite little gal gave him a hug and told him You're Welcome. I picked Reid up out of the cart, and helped him. He was very amused with what was going on, and both were happy to receive candy in return for their good deeds. Hayleigh the whole way back to the car was telling me about the mommies and daddies getting food, clothes, and toys. She was gabbing about Christmas for kids, and let me tell you I wanted to bawl right then. She has such a big heart! Reid was content with his new sucker and kept holding it up to me to show me it.

I swear, the older I get the more I cry happy and sad tears. I think I cry every day. I am soo proud of our kids, and how they treat others. It really breaks my heart to know that other kids out there the same age as ours are going without. Some are going without because they have a single parent that is working all that they can but cannot afford much. Some are obviously on drugs and neglecting their kids. All the same, it really makes me really sad. We saw a guy standing on the corner of a stop light, holding a sign in the cold rain close to dark. Hayleigh asked me what he was doing. I told her he was begging for money- that he was in need. Of course I couldn't stop and give to him with just me and the kids in the car. I feel sorry for these people, but I am not risking our family's safety. Maybe when Allen gets home we can order a couple dollar menu sandwiches and give those out with him with us.

I am very Thankful for everything we have, the warm nice home to stay in, warm clothes to wear, and the food in our pantry. I am glad our kids are growing up being thankful and giving as well.