About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Saturday, October 9, 2010


So, today, I ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I had to get all of the outfits, shoes, bows, ummm everything off of my porch-to use as props, for Hayleigh's 3 month pictures. This day just has kept going and going! Most of the day was such a whirl wind, I'll just go into this evening. I had to come home and get the mail before I picked Hayleigh up, and finally got a new cd for Hayleigh. It is the Baby Praise, Praises and Smiles. We have come to love the DVD set my Aunt brought us, since her little girl was done using them. Every morning, Hayleigh watches one of the DVDs that plays children singing songs with a lady. I find myself singing along with the songs too, while I get ready for work as Hayleigh is watching them. We loved the DVDs soo much, that I got on Amazon, and ordered the first CD that matches the first DVD in the set- it is Hayleigh's favorite. So, going to pick Hayleigh up, jamming to Baby Praise.... I am soo exciting, I know! I picked Hayleigh up, and we hurried to the bank and post office, and then blasted off to Lawrenceville to get Hayleigh's 3 month pictures taken.

So, back to the pictures. Our sweet little girl was HORRIBLE! I do mean Horrible! She was so cranky and tired. We did manage to get all of the pictures taken, after Jessica offered to reschedule a few times. I felt bad, and didn't want to take up any more of this poor lady's time. I ended up coaxing Hayleigh with a bottle and a pacifier. She did smile and giggle, and then it would be total pout melt down..and back to a smile, and so forth. I cannot wait to see the pictures! I did get a glimpse of a few, and was quite pleased with what we worked soo hard to get. We are planning on going back to get our Christmas pictures taken, after Hayleigh gets her ears pierced next month. I cannot wait! During the whole photo session, Jessica kept going on about how well Hayleigh could stand, hold her head up, babble, and just how alert she was for a 3 month old. PROUD MAMMA! I am soo glad that I am not the only one who thinks this outside of the family. We are told all of this quite often, and I just think she is doing good, but, Jessica seems to think that she is quite ahead of most 3 month olds. Hayleigh pulled off some poses sitting up with little assistance from me holding her back. Hopefully next month, she will be sitting up on her own for her pictures!

This has been such a draining week. After the tragedy with my friend, and her family, and just the running, it has been an emotionally and physically draining week. I have felt soo guilty being happy with Hayleigh the past few days, singing to her, listening to the Baby Praise, and then I think of **Teresa** and her family. And, how while I am smiling and singing to Hayleigh, they buried their baby girl today. I will probably never know what it feels like to have that happen to me, but, I feel like it is hard to celebrate life, while my friend is mourning a life lost too soon. I know time heals wounds, but, this is a wound that I think will take a lifetime to heal for Teresa. I just hope that they are doing okay, and being strong for one another, especially that little boy still in NICU right now.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Something to be Thankful for...

The Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine 2010 was awarded to Robert G. Edwards for the development of in vitro fertilization. I read this in the newspaper yesterday, and couldn't help but smile. Because of this man, so many people that have faced problems with infertility, have been able to conceive. Because of his reasearch, it has pushed the medical field to find ways to help people with infertility problems not only with in vitro, but also with IUI as well. Because of all of this, we have Hayleigh, which makes me very grateful for this man's ambition.


Robert Edwards is awarded the 2010 Nobel Prize for the development of human in vitro fertilization (IVF) therapy. His achievements have made it possible to treat infertility, a medical condition afflicting a large proportion of humanity including more than 10% of all couples worldwide.
As early as the 1950s, Edwards had the vision that IVF could be useful as a treatment for infertility. He worked systematically to realize his goal, discovered important principles for human fertilization, and succeeded in accomplishing fertilization of human egg cells in test tubes (or more precisely, cell culture dishes). His efforts were finally crowned by success on 25 July, 1978, when the world's first "test tube baby" was born. During the following years, Edwards and his co-workers refined IVF technology and shared it with colleagues around the world.
Approximately four million individuals have so far been born following IVF. Many of them are now adult and some have already become parents. A new field of medicine has emerged, with Robert Edwards leading the process all the way from the fundamental discoveries to the current, successful IVF therapy. His contributions represent a milestone in the development of modern medicine.

Infertility – a medical and psychological problem

More than 10% of all couples worldwide are infertile. For many of them, this is a great disappointment and for some causes lifelong psychological trauma. Medicine has had limited opportunities to help these individuals in the past. Today, the situation is entirely different. In vitro fertilization (IVF) is an established therapy when sperm and egg cannot meet inside the body.

Basic research bears fruit

The British scientist Robert Edwards began his fundamental research on the biology of fertilization in the 1950s. He soon realized that fertilization outside the body could represent a possible treatment of infertility. Other scientists had shown that egg cells from rabbits could be fertilized in test tubes when sperm was added, giving rise to offspring. Edwards decided to investigate if similar methods could be used to fertilize human egg cells.
It turned out that human eggs have an entirely different life cycle than those of rabbits.  In a series of experimental studies conducted together with several different co-workers, Edwards made a number of fundamental discoveries. He clarified how human eggs mature, how different hormones regulate their maturation, and at which time point the eggs are susceptible to the fertilizing sperm. He also determined the conditions under which sperm is activated and has the capacity to fertilize the egg. In 1969, his efforts met with success when, for the first time, a human egg was fertilized in a test tube.
In spite of this success, a major problem remained. The fertilized egg did not develop beyond a single cell division. Edwards suspected that eggs that had matured in the ovaries before they were removed for IVF would function better, and looked for possible ways to obtain such eggs in a safe way.

From experiment to clinical medicine

Edwards contacted the gynecologist Patrick Steptoe. He became the clinician who, together with Edwards, developed IVF from experiment to practical medicine. Steptoe was one of the pioneers in laparoscopy, a technique that was new and controversial at the time. It allows inspection of the ovaries through an optical instrument. Steptoe used the laparoscope to remove eggs from the ovaries and Edwards put the eggs in cell culture and added sperm. The fertilized egg cells now divided several times and formed early embryos, 8 cells in size (see figure).
These early studies were promising but the Medical Research Council decided not to fund a continuation of the project. However, a private donation allowed the work to continue. The research also became the topic of a lively ethical debate that was initiated by Edwards himself. Several religious leaders, ethicists, and scientists demanded that the project be stopped, while others gave it their support.

The birth of Louise Brown - an historic event

Edwards and Steptoe could continue their research thanks to the new donation. By analyzing the patients' hormone levels, they could determine the best time point for fertilization and maximize the chances for success. In 1978, Lesley and John Brown came to the clinic after nine years of failed attempts to have a child. IVF treatment was carried out, and when the fertilized egg had developed into an embryo with 8 cells, it was returned to Mrs. Brown. A healthy baby, Louise Brown, was born through Caesarian section after a full-term pregnancy, on 25 July, 1978. IVF had moved from vision to reality and a new era in medicine had begun.

IVF is refined and spreads around the world

Edwards and Steptoe established the Bourn Hall Clinic in Cambridge, the world's first centre for IVF therapy. Steptoe was its medical director until his death in 1988, and Edwards was its head of research until his retirement. Gynecologists and cell biologists from all around the world trained at Bourn Hall, where the methods of IVF were continuously refined. By 1986, 1,000 children had already been born following IVF at Bourn Hall, representing approximately half of all children born after IVF in the world at that time.
Today, IVF is an established therapy throughout the world. It has undergone several important improvements. For example, single sperm can be microinjected directly into the egg cell in the culture dish. This method has improved the treatment of male infertility by IVF. Furthermore, mature eggs suitable for IVF can be identified by ultrasound and removed with a fine syringe rather than through the laparoscope.
IVF is a safe and effective therapy. 20-30% of fertilized eggs lead to the birth of a child. Complications include premature births but are very rare, particularly when one egg only is inserted into the mother. Long-term follow-up studies have shown that IVF children are as healthy as other children.
Approximately four million individuals have been born thanks to IVF. Louise Brown and several other IVF children have given birth to children themselves; this is probably the best evidence for the safety and success of IVF therapy. Today, Robert Edwards' vision is a reality and brings joy to infertile people all over the world.

Robert G. Edwards was born in 1925 in Manchester, England. After military service in the Second World War, he studied biology at the University of Wales in Bangor and at Edinburgh University in Scotland, where he received his PhD in 1955 with a Thesis on embryonal development in mice. He became a staff scientist at the National Institute for Medical Research in London in 1958 and initiated his research on the human fertilization process. From 1963, Edwards worked in Cambridge, first at its university and later at Bourn Hall Clinic, the world's first IVF centre, which he founded together with Patrick Steptoe. Edwards was its research director for many years and he was also the editor of several leading scientific journals in the area of fertilization. Robert Edwards is currently professor emeritus at the University of Cambridge.

No Words Could Ever Make it Better....

Yesterday, I went into work, and got the worst news. One of my friends that had went to the same doctor as me, and battled infertility, lost one of her twins. The little girl passed early yesterday morning. They were born at 28 weeks, after the little girl's bag had ruptured at around 22 weeks. The doctors put **Teresa** on steroids and bed rest in the hospital until they delivered the twins. When they were born, the boy weighed 2.8 lbs and the girl was at 1 lb 5.8 oz.. soo tiny! Teresa had told me the little girl was not gaining weight good, and to keep praying for her. I just wish she could have hung in there. Last Friday, I got to talk to Teresa's brother in law that works with me, and he told me they had to up the oxygen on both babies- which is not uncommon for preemie's, especially when they were born that early. As of now, the little boy is doing great- he is just on nasal oxygen, and is now in a private room. I spoke to Teresa's brother earlier, and he had said Teresa had went home for only 2 hours, when the little girl had passed. Teresa's husband is really strong, and I am grateful she has him there for her.

I just cannot even begin to imagine how Teresa and her husband are handling this. I don't think I could. Teresa is staying in the hospital with the little boy, until he gets to go home sometime November- December. I have not got to talk to Teresa since the babies were born on the phone, but, we have been keeping in contact via text messages or email. I know she is probably no where near being able to talk to anyone outside of her family just yet. I wrote her, and let her know she can call me anytime, for whatever she needs, and her brother has been keeping me updated, and passing along messages I have for her.
You are never truly appreciative of what you really have until something like this happens to someone close to you. Teresa had a hard pregnancy, she is type 2 diabetic, she went through a lot more rounds of treatment than we had to, and had been soo up beat about it all. I had a by the book pregnancy. We found out we had been going to the same doctor, shortly after we reconnected, and were each other's cheerleaders from then on. When one of us needed to vent, the other was always right there. She was there when I finally got pregnant with Hayleigh, and I was there for her through her treatments leading to her getting pregnant with her triplets. We both lost a baby in utero at exactly 7 weeks, resulting in us having one baby, and Teresa having twins. She was there at my baby shower just beaming, and at the hospital, just 2 hours after Hayleigh was born, smiling from ear to ear. I really wish I could have been there more for her. She could not have visitors when she was admitted, and after the babies were born.

No words could ever make losing that baby girl less painful. I cannot imagine being in her shoes at all. I look at Hayleigh and bawl thinking about my friend mourning the loss of her baby girl. She will never get to see her smile, giggle and grow. It really breaks my heart when something soo tragic happens to good people in this world. Life is not fair, and never will be. I know my faith in God wavers quite a bit. When we struggled to get pregnant, and miscarried after our first round, my faith was all but gone. It has been gradually coming back, but, life events like this make it plummet back down. I just do not understand a lot of things in this world. I know that when I die someday, and if there is someone really there to ask questions about life to, they will be hearing from me.

Please just keep this family in your prayers. I know they really need them right now.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Run, Run, as Fast as You Can!

The days seem like they run together soo much anymore, since returning to work. I know Friday it seemed like I could not catch up to anything. I didn't go into work until 11am, but, Allen called and had some errands for me to run before I went to work...Wal-Mart, the bank, out to Raymond and Una's, and then some other things. I left the house at 10 am, just after Allen was telling me I needed to get some of the things done last minute right then. Why is it that when you are in a hurry, everyone else takes their time? All in the process of running like a chicken with it's head cut off... I managed to get behind a car going 40 mph down the highway, and could not pass... a funeral procession, state highway truck picking up "sleeping" deer, then the bank teller took FOREVER cashing my check, and Walmart was no different. I did however manage to make it to work on time. I have also noticed that whenever I am in a hurry, Hayleigh really dislikes it, and decides to cry about it in displeasure too.
 I cannot believe that I have not had an abundance of white hairs pop up yet from all of this. That is something else that has changed... MY HAIR. I have heard that pregnancy does change your hair someway or another. I kept watching it the whole time I was pregnant, and it was same thing as always, I just quit losing any hair. Now, I shed like a sheep dog, and my hair has never been better! Allen commented on this on Saturday night too. I had mentioned that I thought I looked better now, than I had pre-baby. He said he has noticed it too, and thinks that I am much happier now, not worrying about getting pregnant, and said he thinks I still glow. Awww!~ He knows just what to say to butter me up! I think he is right though... I am not worrying about getting pregnant now, I know that will probably come back around again though for baby #2, but, for the meanwhile, I am soo happy with our little family.
Baby #2... yes, we have already had people asking when we were planning for Baby #2 already. We have agreed that if Baby #2 doesn't come around by the time Hayleigh is 1 year old, we would start trying again. Yes, that was if I don't get pregnant in the time between now and next July, which means I am not on the pill. Me vs. the pill... hmmm. After not having that stupid thing for the past 6 years, it was really interesting when I started taking it again. Let's just say we did not agree, and I did not like being so dang gone moody all of the time, and also hated the effect it had on my skin. Not to mention having a nice visitor every other week... That was the final straw. So, now, I am happily not taking it at all, and we are planning on after we have Baby #2, someone is getting spayed or neutered.

I cannot believe it is already October! A year ago, we were just starting our cycle in Evansville, that got us Hayleigh. It is silly thinking of stuff like this, but, it still makes me cry thinking about now and then. I think November 14th will be a day we will celebrate.. that is the day we found out Hayleigh was in deed on her way, and it changed our lives forever.

The funny thing I have learned through all of the dealing with infertility... you never do let go of those feelings you had when you was trying to get pregnant.. they just flip to being forever grateful for the baby you finally have. You remember the days that you had struggled, and look back at them wishing that you would have known that that round was not going to work. You will lose friends and gain soo many others from just having infertility in common.It is funny that we even contemplated about doing the round last October, that resulted with getting Hayleigh... I had a gut instinct that we had to do it..I am sure glad we trusted it.