About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Monday, April 29, 2013

Change- Are you afraid of it?

Tonight, I was struck with some inspiration to write a post. It's about taking chances and making BIG changes. I know around my hometown, most things don't change, and the people don't really change either. If you were to leave and come back a year later- everything is pretty much the same. Is there anything wrong with this? Yes, and No. Yes, to the people who are not in the up and up, knowing someone to get/keep the good paying job they have- you have to know somebody to get somewhere here, you are a farmer, or you are like majority of the people who stay in the area and are just getting by working a dead end job. The No is obviously for the ones who do know someone, etc. Good for them.

Anyway, when Allen's home, and we are out and about driving, Allen will make comments about people we don't even know that we see around here in our hometown. You can just see the morale here- it is not good at all. People are either happy with just getting by, getting to take 1 vacation a year to maybe Florida, or Tennessee, and not doing much of anything other than that. Work, wait for weekend, Work. Maybe a trip to Evansville every now and then, but that's pretty much it. Allen will say, they just don't know what they are missing out on. He is not talking about his job and our life though- it's what these people could have. They could move to where a job does pay well, and to somewhere they actually would love to live, instead of just staying in the place they were born and raised like their mom's mom did, and her mom's mom did, and so on.

They settle.... Not wanting to take the risk, or the chance for a good change in their lives.

Now, this doesn't mean that everything is just chocolate and roses everywhere else. Everything has it's ups and downs. Ours just happens to be home time for Allen. BUT, if he stays where he is, he can retire a lot earlier, if he even could living around here. I do get lonely every now and then- even when I'm around family and friends. There just isn't anyone better than my best friend, my husband... well, the kids.. but, I'm here with them, so to me I really miss Allen a lot. It doesn't get easier- sometimes it is not as bad as others on the 2 weeks dragging on, or just me missing him. Some weeks go by so fast, and he is back with us, and everything just runs smooth. But, when he is home with us for that whole week- we actually get to do things together...in Colorado anyway. Here- there is nothing to do here. To me, our time together is so much more meaningful- we don't get stuck in a rut on getting sick of seeing each other. We value our time together, and we have more fun now than we used to when it was just the weekends to get to do stuff together. I know we don't take each other for granted anymore. We look forward to seeing each other, and talking on the phone together. It is hard, but we see the pros of it, and really make the most of it. With him being off for a whole week, we can take trips- not having to wait to use his vacation for the 1 trip of the year thing. Having both kids to my self 24/7 isn't easy either, along with taking care of the house and everything else- it's no picnic. I keep busy. BUT, living like this really does suit us- it isn't for everyone.

Back to where I was going with all of this. Don't be afraid of change. You never know what you are missing out on. Happiness could be just on the other side of that fence, or in our case a couple of state lines. It might be a tough climb to get there- making changes is never easy, but it can really be worth it.. It was for us.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Time is Love

This song is our song-I listen to it quite a bit when Allen is out on his 2 wk hitch. 

Earlier this week, I finally posted on facebook about us moving back to Colorado. I realize that some people will not understand why, no matter how many times I tell them we are leaving, and the reasons for us moving.  While I could make a big long list of reasons why we are leaving, and I even said I could upon request, I'm not going to. What's important to us is what's best for our family- not what everyone else wants, or what is convenient for everyone else.

Even though I am not making a list of the pros and cons- you probably have noticed me popping off things that annoy me with this area, I can tell you the 2 big deciding factors. Time and Money for our family. Time- with living here in Southern Illinois, Allen loses an additional day with us. Instead of getting 6 days at home with us, he only gets 5. He spends an extra day traveling- flying from airport to airport, and it costs us a lot of money no matter how you slice it all up. I realize that we could save money by having Allen fly into Williston, instead of Minot, and if we used the airlines that only fly into Williston. BUT... I am sorry but those airlines that fly into Williston have crappy equipment, and we are not willing to send Allen on a bubble gum operation. You can pick how you want to fly, and trust your life with- but we will stick with what we've been doing- that only costs $100 more per trip. I could get into the other travel details but you are not going to save a great deal of money in the long run. It still costs money to go to either major airport around us- 2 1/2 hours each way, and having to either drag the kids, or find someone to watch is a hassle as well. Anyway, time... we don't get a lot with him, and that is what is important to us with his job. We do a good job dealing with him being gone, and just do not want to give up any more than we have to.

Believe it or not it costs us more to live in Illinois than it does in Colorado- especially in a bigger city like Grand Junction. The grocery stores compete, gas/diesel is cheaper, and there is more to do there. Mainly we love it out there. We feel like it fits us quite well. I know I can hear a few people muttering right now, well move to Indy or St. Louis to be closer- we don't want to live there. St. Louis is not very safe, and is expensive. Indy is in Indiana, and that just cuts that right out, plus it is even farther away from Allen at work. North Dakota is not an option- it is not safe, the weather is horrible, and it is very expensive to live there due to the shortage in housing. If you could live anywhere in this country, where would you pick? I guarantee it would not be this area. We have the chance to pick that, and we choose Colorado. I'm sorry if some of you are rolling your eyes, or just plain disgruntled about this, but this is our decision.

When we toyed with the idea of moving back to Illinois, I liked the idea of getting all kinds of "help" from everyone. One person who mainly went on and on about "help" was always no where to be found. I have received some help, but that's about it. The help I've gotten with the kids has been great- but nothing more than what I had out in Colorado. Who wants to come help in the middle of the day when every one's at work, or in the middle of the night- which is usually when I could use it. Everyone has their own lives, and things going on. AND, everyone is afraid to take on both kids at once. I realize they are both a handful- a 2 year old and a 5 month old. But, I can handle them both by myself, and have done it just fine. That doesn't mean that we don't have a few stressful nights, but we make it through.

There are lots of other things that have influenced out decision of why we are moving that I don't feel like I need to justify to everyone out there, when one of the few people we went over this with didn't even bat an eye, and still thought no matter what it cost us, we were staying here. Allen said it best after everything was laid on the table, and the decision was clear to what we need to do. He said that he did not take his job to come back here with nothing to do, not even being able to do anything even if we wanted to, spending all of his time away from us. We moved for a reason- to better our lives for our family- for the kids. I guess some just cannot see why this is better- being able to do things with the kids, take them places, have them in better schools, more opportunities, etc. To some, it is all about convenience - having the kids close so they can see them when ever they want that is convenient for them. What's funny is just how much some of these people have taken the time to actually spend time with the kids. I really did not want to say anything about us leaving. To me, if you didn't want to take the time to come see them that often- that was your decision. If you knew you had a time crunch, you would be seeing the kids only because you had to. Kind of like people in nursing homes- family only comes around when they get a call that the person is not doing well- then they all show up like they've been there solid the whole time. That is not right to me. Maybe you don't agree with me- that's fine. But, when you sit on a couch all afternoon when we are celebrating Easter on your phone, and computer, not even spending time with Hayleigh or Reid until I say we have to leave a few hours later so we can go do Easter at another family's house, that is sickening to me. Don't even want to hold or spend time with Reid, or play with Hayleigh- but when you do make for damn sure you are capturing it all on video and taking pictures of it all for the 5 minutes you took away from that computer or phone.

What this has all shown me is just who really cares to see us. Who has taken the time without being told that they need to, or been given a time limit, and actually wanted to spend the time out of their day with us. What I find most amusing in all of this is that the people who have taken the time to spend it with us are for us leaving- even though it is not easy, and they will miss us and the kids. The people that have not taken the time, are the ones throwing the biggest stink fits now, and no matter what we say about leaving, they will not see why this decision is best for our family.

I know people will think this is all crazy, but until you have been in our shoes, and walked a day or two in them, please keep your comments, or judgments to yourself.

Everyone is welcome to come and visit us when ever they would like- our door is always open. We are planning our future visits back here right now, and a few other trips we would like to make this year as well. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up in November, so we are hoping to get to go to Vegas to get remarried, sometime this fall. We will be celebrating Hayleigh's 3rd Birthday a month early, so we can get settled in after we move.

I just want everyone to know what Allen and I do is for Hayleigh and Reid first. The decisions we have to make, might not always be easy, but we do it all as a family first. What 10 years of marriage has taught me is that you have to put your partner and your kids first-if you don't- your house will fail. So, if we are happier, and better off somewhere away from our families, it is something we need to do.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Smiles and Giggles

My how time flies! Reid will be turning 5 whole months old on Saturday, along with my own dad turning 55. I don't remember time passing this fast when Hayleigh was a baby, but for Reid it is flying right on by us! He is almost to roll over now- that is IF Hayleigh would quit being so sweet to her little brother and stop helping him get anything he wants. I lay a toy down on the blanket he is lying on, on the floor...he turns to grab it, just out of his reach... THEN Hayleigh hands it to him....He is everyone's baby boy right now. Hayleigh is very proud of him too. She makes sure she tells everyone about her baby brother, or brooder- in her little voice. I LOVE watching them play together, watch tv together, and just plain smile at each other. Makes my heart melt. I honestly don't know how some other moms make it with more than 2 kids under the age of 4 years old- mine are both under the age of 3 right now, and I feel like my head is spinning some days.

I am very anxious to get to do more activities outside with both kids this summer. Both will be in swim lessons, and I know we will be living at the pool pretty much this summer as well. I'm planning on enrolling Hayleigh into gymnastics this summer- something to help her vent her energy all out on, instead of doing flips off of the chairs.

I feel like I'm behind on some things.. one being planning Hayleigh's 3rd Birthday party!! It will well be here before we know it. I'm planning on a Toy Story theme for her- she LOVES Woody & Buzz. Along with that, we are trying to plan a trip down to see Nena Rose sometime this summer as well. I'm excited to go to the beach with the kids down in Galveston- but the over protective parent in me thinks neither will be out in that water past knee level on them- I'm scared to death of sharks, about like a tornado, and after seeing a teen mom episode where the fiance was killed by a shark in Galveston in shallow water just freaks me out. Besides the sharks it worries me that they will..or Hayleigh will get swept out to the gulf... I realize the probability of either of those things happening is not likely- but I freak like that. After taking forever to get my family, I'm not about to let something take it away just like that if I can help it. Bubble wrap for all! lol not really, but I do worry a lot about the kids- probably more than I should.

I still struggle with baby fever... I realize the whole part about being done, and growing older is the real reason behind it all. I know having more than we have now is not a good idea... One boy, one girl- perfect- now STOP! BUT....What IF???  I love being pregnant, and love having those sweet smiles every morning when we all wake up. I'm really going to miss it all, and I'm betting now that I will have a bad case of empty nest syndrome someday too.

Ahhh...both kids are growing like weeds, and they both need to stop! Reid is already wearing 6 month clothes. At his 4 month appointment, he weighed 17lbs 9oz and was 25 3/4" long. ALREADY!!! I, of course freaked out over him skipping over his 3-6 month clothes pretty much over night. My little baby isn't going to stay a little baby for long I'm afraid... I wish I could just hit pause and love and snuggle him for a while with him this size- full of smiles and laughs.

Hayleigh is very into Princess Sophia the First now- LOVES the movie, and the show. When I got her Easter dresses out of the closet, she squealed, Sophia! She associates frilly dresses with princesses, and Sophia is her favorite right now- so cute! A couple of weeks ago, I was hunting down Reid some new sleepwear, since he flew right on threw his 3-6 month ones. While looking, I scoped out the girls clothing- I usually check the name brands on there, and find some good deals. Well, while looking, Hayleigh was sitting on the couch with me watching tv, and settling down for bedtime. She looks over at my computer, and sees this green and white polka dot Gap dress... she squeals CUTE! That is Cute! I had to bid on this dress now.. we won it, got it here, and she wore it for a whole day, and did not want to take it off! It really is a cute dress- and I managed to buy a few others while on there too.

This past week we did manage to get to go to the park for the first and second times for Reid. He LOVED watching his cousin Xena and Hayleigh play, and being pushed in the swings. He constantly was smiling and giggling, and had quite a time. We brought our lunch out with us to the park on Monday, and mainly watched Hayleigh play. She had trouble climbing this one piece of equipment last week when we were at the other park, but on Monday, she did it all by herself! I was soo proud of her! They both enjoyed swinging at the same time, and kept looking at each other laughing as they passed the other on by. I'm hoping that they will both get along well as they grow- they are just so darn cute together right now, and I just don't want for it to all end.