About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Is it Friday Yet?

Post From Wednesday I did not get published:

Today has been quite the day already. It has all started with me hardly sleeping last night, worrying about lots of things going on right now, followed by being up every other hour with Hayleigh. I had to keep getting up and putting her paci back in her mouth. I finally found out just why she was stirring all night- poor girl peed through a diaper, pooped in it, and soaked her sleeper and sheets. UGGHHH! I never did flip the light on when I checked on her everytime I got up with her, because we have a light set up in her window, which puts off just enough light to see just enough in the dark like a night light. Hayleigh was not crying, just kind of wimpering, after I would replace the paci, she would fall back to sleep. If I would have only known that the problem was the diaper and the mess, poor girl would have slept a lot better, and me along with her.

We went to Hayleigh's 6 month checkup yesterday, with good reports all around. Hayleigh weighed 17 lbs 6 oz, and is now 26 1/4" long, fitting her into the 75th percentile. Her head, which we think is a little big, measured 34 cm which was right at the 50th percentile, which shocked me. The doctor remarked that Hayleigh is developing very well, no set backs from being born 3 wks early, and is at the top of her developments for her age group. She can roll over both ways, coo and make "noises" sucking  and popping and a growl/gargle sound, she can walk with assist, sit up on her own, with supervision, walk forwards and backwards in her stroller, and scoot.The things we are to watch for now are her passing objects from hand to hand- I have witnessed a few times, but, it is not a steady thing yet, and babbling maamaamaa daaadaaadaa. These will come soon enough! We were given the okay to start her on meat now too, which is exciting, I just wish she would break a tooth through so we can start on other foods. Hayeigh had even attempted to "army crawl" the other night. We go back for her 9 month appointment next in 3 months.

The last month has been quite rough. I got my first fever blister from worrying, mainly about my Grandma, whom Hayleigh is named for. She has been in and out of the hospital soo many times now. Every time she goes in it is to drain fluid off of her chest, and it has been getting worse as time passes. She is no longer optimistic, but, looks sad, and doesn't say much anymore. My mom and I don't see her making it past this summer with how her health has been for the last few months, which is hard to swallow. I just wish we had more time with her than that. I really wanted for Hayleigh to be able to remember her, which I know is not going to happen. I am just grateful that we were blessed with Hayleigh while Grandma is still here, and that we could name Hayleigh for her.

Monday, December 27, 2010

My Prerogative of Life

I know it has been quite a while since I've gotten to write on here. Work has been extra busy, and it seems like the weekends pass with the blink of an eye. A bit of a recap for everyone... Hayleigh will be 6 months old on Thursday ALREADY!! She can roll over, walk backwards and FORWARDS in her walker now, walk with someone holding her hands, eat baby food with no problems of her tongue getting in the way, and is now reaching out to everyone instead of crying. I cannot believe how fast time has flown by.

Christmas was great! It made me very happy, and very sad at the same time. I cannot tell you the joy I felt buying my daughter her first Christmas present. I bawled in Hallmark, picking out cards to give out, reading all of them that I could. I know some people in there thought I was a bit emotional, but, I cannot help it. We got a white Christmas to boot too! 3 inches of fluffy white snow on Christmas Eve. Hayleigh got to try out her infant sled we had got her on Christmas day in my mom's yard. It is amazing just how different it is to go from a family of just Allen and I, to having Hayleigh in the mix. Everything has been more special, and some people have actually grown closer to us with having Hayleigh here.

Christmas shopping this year was actually enjoyable for once. I think we got the closest to getting it right this year out of all years. Allen and I received way more than  we asked for- Christmas was mainly for Hayleigh this year, not us, but, it was still nice that some people actually remembered us too!

With New Year's right around the corner, I find myself with every passing year, trying to understand people more, and trying to be a better person, ending up usually disappointed with what I find, and sometimes a little surprised with how things turn out. I have found that to me Christmas time is a really good time to get a good gage of just how people really feel about you. It is the thought that counts to me, instead of the amount spent on presents. Some things I just shake my head at, and say to myself, really? But, I do find myself being very grateful for the other times someone goes out of their way to make something special, or really takes the time to make you feel special. I guess you just learn to appreciate the people who really listen to you throughout the year that remember what you said way back in the beginning of the year. There are always a few people who really try, and then the ones who just slap together a few things and say "tada!" It is not the fact that I am not grateful for being given a gift, but, the fact that we really took the time to think about and get something special for someone, and them in return giving you something you just had lying around the house.

Every year I find myself depressed over getting my hopes up that someday a certain select few will finally open their arms and actually accept us as family, instead of inviting us over for left overs of a Christmas Get together, while their other family is leaving after having their "real" Christmas. I know I love the quote Eleanor Roosevelt gives- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but, it is pretty darn hard to ignore a billboard sitting right smack dab in front of your nose, and not notice it, or let it get to you. It just really makes me feel like I am not really a part of my own family sometimes. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am just waiting to finally "fit" into my own family.

What gets me the most is that now that I have my own little family, I would never want anyone, not even my own daughter, to feel like she is not welcome, or an after thought. I want her to know every day just how special she is and always will be, no matter what happens in life. She will always be our baby.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


So, today, I ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I had to get all of the outfits, shoes, bows, ummm everything off of my porch-to use as props, for Hayleigh's 3 month pictures. This day just has kept going and going! Most of the day was such a whirl wind, I'll just go into this evening. I had to come home and get the mail before I picked Hayleigh up, and finally got a new cd for Hayleigh. It is the Baby Praise, Praises and Smiles. We have come to love the DVD set my Aunt brought us, since her little girl was done using them. Every morning, Hayleigh watches one of the DVDs that plays children singing songs with a lady. I find myself singing along with the songs too, while I get ready for work as Hayleigh is watching them. We loved the DVDs soo much, that I got on Amazon, and ordered the first CD that matches the first DVD in the set- it is Hayleigh's favorite. So, going to pick Hayleigh up, jamming to Baby Praise.... I am soo exciting, I know! I picked Hayleigh up, and we hurried to the bank and post office, and then blasted off to Lawrenceville to get Hayleigh's 3 month pictures taken.

So, back to the pictures. Our sweet little girl was HORRIBLE! I do mean Horrible! She was so cranky and tired. We did manage to get all of the pictures taken, after Jessica offered to reschedule a few times. I felt bad, and didn't want to take up any more of this poor lady's time. I ended up coaxing Hayleigh with a bottle and a pacifier. She did smile and giggle, and then it would be total pout melt down..and back to a smile, and so forth. I cannot wait to see the pictures! I did get a glimpse of a few, and was quite pleased with what we worked soo hard to get. We are planning on going back to get our Christmas pictures taken, after Hayleigh gets her ears pierced next month. I cannot wait! During the whole photo session, Jessica kept going on about how well Hayleigh could stand, hold her head up, babble, and just how alert she was for a 3 month old. PROUD MAMMA! I am soo glad that I am not the only one who thinks this outside of the family. We are told all of this quite often, and I just think she is doing good, but, Jessica seems to think that she is quite ahead of most 3 month olds. Hayleigh pulled off some poses sitting up with little assistance from me holding her back. Hopefully next month, she will be sitting up on her own for her pictures!

This has been such a draining week. After the tragedy with my friend, and her family, and just the running, it has been an emotionally and physically draining week. I have felt soo guilty being happy with Hayleigh the past few days, singing to her, listening to the Baby Praise, and then I think of **Teresa** and her family. And, how while I am smiling and singing to Hayleigh, they buried their baby girl today. I will probably never know what it feels like to have that happen to me, but, I feel like it is hard to celebrate life, while my friend is mourning a life lost too soon. I know time heals wounds, but, this is a wound that I think will take a lifetime to heal for Teresa. I just hope that they are doing okay, and being strong for one another, especially that little boy still in NICU right now.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Something to be Thankful for...

The Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine 2010 was awarded to Robert G. Edwards for the development of in vitro fertilization. I read this in the newspaper yesterday, and couldn't help but smile. Because of this man, so many people that have faced problems with infertility, have been able to conceive. Because of his reasearch, it has pushed the medical field to find ways to help people with infertility problems not only with in vitro, but also with IUI as well. Because of all of this, we have Hayleigh, which makes me very grateful for this man's ambition.


Robert Edwards is awarded the 2010 Nobel Prize for the development of human in vitro fertilization (IVF) therapy. His achievements have made it possible to treat infertility, a medical condition afflicting a large proportion of humanity including more than 10% of all couples worldwide.
As early as the 1950s, Edwards had the vision that IVF could be useful as a treatment for infertility. He worked systematically to realize his goal, discovered important principles for human fertilization, and succeeded in accomplishing fertilization of human egg cells in test tubes (or more precisely, cell culture dishes). His efforts were finally crowned by success on 25 July, 1978, when the world's first "test tube baby" was born. During the following years, Edwards and his co-workers refined IVF technology and shared it with colleagues around the world.
Approximately four million individuals have so far been born following IVF. Many of them are now adult and some have already become parents. A new field of medicine has emerged, with Robert Edwards leading the process all the way from the fundamental discoveries to the current, successful IVF therapy. His contributions represent a milestone in the development of modern medicine.

Infertility – a medical and psychological problem

More than 10% of all couples worldwide are infertile. For many of them, this is a great disappointment and for some causes lifelong psychological trauma. Medicine has had limited opportunities to help these individuals in the past. Today, the situation is entirely different. In vitro fertilization (IVF) is an established therapy when sperm and egg cannot meet inside the body.

Basic research bears fruit

The British scientist Robert Edwards began his fundamental research on the biology of fertilization in the 1950s. He soon realized that fertilization outside the body could represent a possible treatment of infertility. Other scientists had shown that egg cells from rabbits could be fertilized in test tubes when sperm was added, giving rise to offspring. Edwards decided to investigate if similar methods could be used to fertilize human egg cells.
It turned out that human eggs have an entirely different life cycle than those of rabbits.  In a series of experimental studies conducted together with several different co-workers, Edwards made a number of fundamental discoveries. He clarified how human eggs mature, how different hormones regulate their maturation, and at which time point the eggs are susceptible to the fertilizing sperm. He also determined the conditions under which sperm is activated and has the capacity to fertilize the egg. In 1969, his efforts met with success when, for the first time, a human egg was fertilized in a test tube.
In spite of this success, a major problem remained. The fertilized egg did not develop beyond a single cell division. Edwards suspected that eggs that had matured in the ovaries before they were removed for IVF would function better, and looked for possible ways to obtain such eggs in a safe way.

From experiment to clinical medicine

Edwards contacted the gynecologist Patrick Steptoe. He became the clinician who, together with Edwards, developed IVF from experiment to practical medicine. Steptoe was one of the pioneers in laparoscopy, a technique that was new and controversial at the time. It allows inspection of the ovaries through an optical instrument. Steptoe used the laparoscope to remove eggs from the ovaries and Edwards put the eggs in cell culture and added sperm. The fertilized egg cells now divided several times and formed early embryos, 8 cells in size (see figure).
These early studies were promising but the Medical Research Council decided not to fund a continuation of the project. However, a private donation allowed the work to continue. The research also became the topic of a lively ethical debate that was initiated by Edwards himself. Several religious leaders, ethicists, and scientists demanded that the project be stopped, while others gave it their support.

The birth of Louise Brown - an historic event

Edwards and Steptoe could continue their research thanks to the new donation. By analyzing the patients' hormone levels, they could determine the best time point for fertilization and maximize the chances for success. In 1978, Lesley and John Brown came to the clinic after nine years of failed attempts to have a child. IVF treatment was carried out, and when the fertilized egg had developed into an embryo with 8 cells, it was returned to Mrs. Brown. A healthy baby, Louise Brown, was born through Caesarian section after a full-term pregnancy, on 25 July, 1978. IVF had moved from vision to reality and a new era in medicine had begun.

IVF is refined and spreads around the world

Edwards and Steptoe established the Bourn Hall Clinic in Cambridge, the world's first centre for IVF therapy. Steptoe was its medical director until his death in 1988, and Edwards was its head of research until his retirement. Gynecologists and cell biologists from all around the world trained at Bourn Hall, where the methods of IVF were continuously refined. By 1986, 1,000 children had already been born following IVF at Bourn Hall, representing approximately half of all children born after IVF in the world at that time.
Today, IVF is an established therapy throughout the world. It has undergone several important improvements. For example, single sperm can be microinjected directly into the egg cell in the culture dish. This method has improved the treatment of male infertility by IVF. Furthermore, mature eggs suitable for IVF can be identified by ultrasound and removed with a fine syringe rather than through the laparoscope.
IVF is a safe and effective therapy. 20-30% of fertilized eggs lead to the birth of a child. Complications include premature births but are very rare, particularly when one egg only is inserted into the mother. Long-term follow-up studies have shown that IVF children are as healthy as other children.
Approximately four million individuals have been born thanks to IVF. Louise Brown and several other IVF children have given birth to children themselves; this is probably the best evidence for the safety and success of IVF therapy. Today, Robert Edwards' vision is a reality and brings joy to infertile people all over the world.

Robert G. Edwards was born in 1925 in Manchester, England. After military service in the Second World War, he studied biology at the University of Wales in Bangor and at Edinburgh University in Scotland, where he received his PhD in 1955 with a Thesis on embryonal development in mice. He became a staff scientist at the National Institute for Medical Research in London in 1958 and initiated his research on the human fertilization process. From 1963, Edwards worked in Cambridge, first at its university and later at Bourn Hall Clinic, the world's first IVF centre, which he founded together with Patrick Steptoe. Edwards was its research director for many years and he was also the editor of several leading scientific journals in the area of fertilization. Robert Edwards is currently professor emeritus at the University of Cambridge.

No Words Could Ever Make it Better....

Yesterday, I went into work, and got the worst news. One of my friends that had went to the same doctor as me, and battled infertility, lost one of her twins. The little girl passed early yesterday morning. They were born at 28 weeks, after the little girl's bag had ruptured at around 22 weeks. The doctors put **Teresa** on steroids and bed rest in the hospital until they delivered the twins. When they were born, the boy weighed 2.8 lbs and the girl was at 1 lb 5.8 oz.. soo tiny! Teresa had told me the little girl was not gaining weight good, and to keep praying for her. I just wish she could have hung in there. Last Friday, I got to talk to Teresa's brother in law that works with me, and he told me they had to up the oxygen on both babies- which is not uncommon for preemie's, especially when they were born that early. As of now, the little boy is doing great- he is just on nasal oxygen, and is now in a private room. I spoke to Teresa's brother earlier, and he had said Teresa had went home for only 2 hours, when the little girl had passed. Teresa's husband is really strong, and I am grateful she has him there for her.

I just cannot even begin to imagine how Teresa and her husband are handling this. I don't think I could. Teresa is staying in the hospital with the little boy, until he gets to go home sometime November- December. I have not got to talk to Teresa since the babies were born on the phone, but, we have been keeping in contact via text messages or email. I know she is probably no where near being able to talk to anyone outside of her family just yet. I wrote her, and let her know she can call me anytime, for whatever she needs, and her brother has been keeping me updated, and passing along messages I have for her.
You are never truly appreciative of what you really have until something like this happens to someone close to you. Teresa had a hard pregnancy, she is type 2 diabetic, she went through a lot more rounds of treatment than we had to, and had been soo up beat about it all. I had a by the book pregnancy. We found out we had been going to the same doctor, shortly after we reconnected, and were each other's cheerleaders from then on. When one of us needed to vent, the other was always right there. She was there when I finally got pregnant with Hayleigh, and I was there for her through her treatments leading to her getting pregnant with her triplets. We both lost a baby in utero at exactly 7 weeks, resulting in us having one baby, and Teresa having twins. She was there at my baby shower just beaming, and at the hospital, just 2 hours after Hayleigh was born, smiling from ear to ear. I really wish I could have been there more for her. She could not have visitors when she was admitted, and after the babies were born.

No words could ever make losing that baby girl less painful. I cannot imagine being in her shoes at all. I look at Hayleigh and bawl thinking about my friend mourning the loss of her baby girl. She will never get to see her smile, giggle and grow. It really breaks my heart when something soo tragic happens to good people in this world. Life is not fair, and never will be. I know my faith in God wavers quite a bit. When we struggled to get pregnant, and miscarried after our first round, my faith was all but gone. It has been gradually coming back, but, life events like this make it plummet back down. I just do not understand a lot of things in this world. I know that when I die someday, and if there is someone really there to ask questions about life to, they will be hearing from me.

Please just keep this family in your prayers. I know they really need them right now.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Run, Run, as Fast as You Can!

The days seem like they run together soo much anymore, since returning to work. I know Friday it seemed like I could not catch up to anything. I didn't go into work until 11am, but, Allen called and had some errands for me to run before I went to work...Wal-Mart, the bank, out to Raymond and Una's, and then some other things. I left the house at 10 am, just after Allen was telling me I needed to get some of the things done last minute right then. Why is it that when you are in a hurry, everyone else takes their time? All in the process of running like a chicken with it's head cut off... I managed to get behind a car going 40 mph down the highway, and could not pass... a funeral procession, state highway truck picking up "sleeping" deer, then the bank teller took FOREVER cashing my check, and Walmart was no different. I did however manage to make it to work on time. I have also noticed that whenever I am in a hurry, Hayleigh really dislikes it, and decides to cry about it in displeasure too.
 I cannot believe that I have not had an abundance of white hairs pop up yet from all of this. That is something else that has changed... MY HAIR. I have heard that pregnancy does change your hair someway or another. I kept watching it the whole time I was pregnant, and it was same thing as always, I just quit losing any hair. Now, I shed like a sheep dog, and my hair has never been better! Allen commented on this on Saturday night too. I had mentioned that I thought I looked better now, than I had pre-baby. He said he has noticed it too, and thinks that I am much happier now, not worrying about getting pregnant, and said he thinks I still glow. Awww!~ He knows just what to say to butter me up! I think he is right though... I am not worrying about getting pregnant now, I know that will probably come back around again though for baby #2, but, for the meanwhile, I am soo happy with our little family.
Baby #2... yes, we have already had people asking when we were planning for Baby #2 already. We have agreed that if Baby #2 doesn't come around by the time Hayleigh is 1 year old, we would start trying again. Yes, that was if I don't get pregnant in the time between now and next July, which means I am not on the pill. Me vs. the pill... hmmm. After not having that stupid thing for the past 6 years, it was really interesting when I started taking it again. Let's just say we did not agree, and I did not like being so dang gone moody all of the time, and also hated the effect it had on my skin. Not to mention having a nice visitor every other week... That was the final straw. So, now, I am happily not taking it at all, and we are planning on after we have Baby #2, someone is getting spayed or neutered.

I cannot believe it is already October! A year ago, we were just starting our cycle in Evansville, that got us Hayleigh. It is silly thinking of stuff like this, but, it still makes me cry thinking about now and then. I think November 14th will be a day we will celebrate.. that is the day we found out Hayleigh was in deed on her way, and it changed our lives forever.

The funny thing I have learned through all of the dealing with infertility... you never do let go of those feelings you had when you was trying to get pregnant.. they just flip to being forever grateful for the baby you finally have. You remember the days that you had struggled, and look back at them wishing that you would have known that that round was not going to work. You will lose friends and gain soo many others from just having infertility in common.It is funny that we even contemplated about doing the round last October, that resulted with getting Hayleigh... I had a gut instinct that we had to do it..I am sure glad we trusted it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Doesn't even seem possible does it? Tomorrow our little stinker will be 3 months old! "Stinker Dink" seems to have stuck to what I call Hayleigh as a little nickname, and it was not at all intentional. My nickname I was given when I was little was Pooh Bear- my dad always has to give a special name to everything, and I guess I am just as guilty of this.

Last night, after we got home, I laid Hayleigh down in her crib since she was still sleeping, and clearly didn't take much of a nap. She had slept for around a half hour, then I began to hear her babbling to herself in her crib- probably telling her mobile how it was, and then I would hear a little GEEGEE! Her little giggle sure can lite a room on up!

I just got Hayleigh's 3 month pictures booked for a week from Friday now, and I am soo excited to get some new pictures of her up on our "Hayleigh Shrine" wall. I swear only 2 of those pictures have someone in the picture besides Hayleigh- how conceded are we?

I know every new parent thinks their child is soo "advanced", but, we really do, and joke about it all of the time. I have confirmed this with the "What to Expect the First Years" book. Hayleigh can do everything a 4 month old should be able to do, minus grasping a rattle and shaking it. She is very alert, and always wants to know what is going on. She expresses this with complaining and throwing a fit if she is not constantly looking at something new- often getting bored quite easily. Hayleigh can hold her head up straight and at a full 90 degrees while lying on her belly very well too! Numerous people have commented after they found out how old Hayleigh is that she can hold her head up very well! We have noticed this also. She really likes to be stood up and held, with her supporting herself with her legs. She is such a strong little girl, and I am afraid that she will take after both Mommy and Daddy and be walking before she is 10 months old.

Hayleigh has really taken to watching Baby Praise DVDS while I get ready for work in the morning, after her first feeding. I know the songs drive Allen crazy, but, I have caught myself humming or singing the songs in my head from time to time- very catchy.

It is just really hard to believe that our little baby is growing up soo darn fast!

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's been a LONG time....

Yes, I know I haven't been on here in a really LONG time now... a month! Hayleigh is growing like a weed, literally! She is now in her 3-6 month clothes, and will now be 3 months on Thursday. It is really just amazing how fast she has grown, and started new things. She is playing with her play palace now, hitting the toys that hang down above her. Her grins have turned into the biggest sweet smiles you have ever seen, always with a little giggle following soon after. Hayleigh can hold her head up very well, and can now hold herself up and push up on her elbows- I have pictures I will have to upload later. She is fascinated with the Baby Praise DVDs my aunt, brought her. Really this whole last month is amazing, because just two months ago, she was not smiling  or making the facial expressions that now melt our hearts. I am very proud of Hayleigh's sleep schedule even after I have started back to work- a week ago now. She goes to sleep for the night at 9:30pm, and then she is up around 7:30- 8am with her babbling over the monitor talking away to the mobile above her head. Toby, our smaller min pin LOVES Hayleigh, and is ohh so careful with her. It really is amazing just how careful Missy and Toby are around Hayleigh, it is like they know she is so fragile. Toby will belly crawl up to Hayleigh's feet when I am sitting with her on the floor, and roll onto his back, wanting her to pet him. I will help Hayleigh stoke Toby's back, and you can just see it in his eyes how much he loves it, and is just thrilled that she is watching him and touching him now. Missy still observes from afar, I am sure that once Hayleigh can give belly rubs, and Missy figures this out, she will be Hayleigh's dog through and through.

One thing I find funny that has not changed since having Hayleigh is how emotional I get. I tear up at the smallest things I find or think about. For instance, I can hear a song on the radio, think of Hayleigh, and then it is water works from there on out. I think about Christmas time, buying clothes for that time, or her first Halloween, and bumble bee trick or treat costume, and start crying like a big baby. Last night, I was showing my step mom the personalized video of Santa that was made for Allen's 4 year old cousin, and started tearing up, thinking just how much fun it will be to see her eyes light up at Christmas time too. I really am starting to tear up while writing this too. I thought that once my hormones we lined back out, and adjusted, that this kind of stuff would go away, but, it has not. I guess I am still in denial that we are where we are now...a year ago, I was a very bitter person, upset with everyone and everything because of our failed round of IUI, but, a year later, and I couldn't be any happier! Funny how much can change in a year...

Ohh, on a good note, one of my friends that was going to the same fertility specialist as we were, had her twins almost 2 wks ago now. Like us, she lost one of her babies at exactly 7wks too- she was having triplets, and we were having twins. I am soo happy the babies and her family are all doing well. They were only a little over 2 lbs a piece, and she had been hospitalized for over 6 weeks before they were born at 28 weeks gestation. Everyone I have known that was struggling for a family, now has or is expecting now. I really would love to bottle up some of this water from around us and save it for when we are ready to start trying for baby # 2! Hopefully next time will not be as hard, or as long of a wait. Our plan for the time being is to wait until Hayleigh is around a year old, before we start trying again- shooting for a spring or winter baby this time, so I can be off for the holidays since we cannot take off during that time at my work.

In other news, there is only one thing that breaks my heart anymore... people playing favorites already. We really did expect this to happen with the people that are involved, so it is not such a big surprise all in all. I just hope that the people that are doing this remember that Hayleigh is here too, and she is not left out like someone else that is very dear to me was though out their life too. Hayleigh was constipated really bad a few weeks ago, and was screaming from pain, and they did not even write on facebook, or call to see how Hayleigh was doing. It just really has surprised me that they have not been concerned with some of the things that have happened enough to call, or to even just check in to see how things are going with Hayleigh. I guess since we have facebook, and I keep up on it with pictures and updates, they feel that is enough for them. Everyone had been checking in at least once a week with us, until Hayleigh was 6 weeks old, then, a few of them just disappeared. One of them was constantly bringing strangers to the hospital when Hayleigh was born, and then out to our house. It always seems to happen every time we get together though. And, especially now, with the circumstances at hand, it was a given that this would happen. At least, we have the people that care about us and Hayleigh close at hand, whether it be by phone/computer or here at home with us. Really there is nothing to complain about, Hayleigh really is one spoiled little girl already.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Good Baby

Since I have been soo busy lately, I thought while I had a chance, I would give some updates. Hayleigh has now slept through the night for over a week and a half, with the exception of 1 night from traveling- I'll get into that in a few days. She is falling to sleep on her own- no rocking, pacifier- she doesn't like to take them anyway, drunk off of milk, music, or her heartbeat bear. She can hold her head up quite well now, and can almost halfway turn over now. She has been scooting since she was a week old, and gets quite mad if she cannot get anywhere. She is very fascinated with pictures, and has been grinning at us for over a week now- just waiting on that smile! Colic hit about 2 weeks ago now. It has not been as bad as what I thought it would be. I just give her little tummies gripe water, and give her a pacifier- she only takes them when she is gassed up, and it has to be one of her favorite two. She is usually fine after that. Hayleigh is now wearing 0-3 months clothes, and just about out of her newborn now. She gets weighed next at her 2 month checkup on the 26th of this month. I am guessing that she is around 10lbs now- since she weighed 9lbs 2 oz at her 1 month checkup.
Hayleigh is definitely a snuggler- she loves sleeping with me on the bed after her first morning feeding- around 5-6am. She sleeps in her wedge on Allen's side of the bed, and is quite content there- this does not mean she will be sleeping there after I go back to work. I really don't want a child sleeping with us in our bed at 3years old. Hayleigh has slept through the night for that last week in her crib, instead of the bassinet- I am very proud of her, and I don't think I could have slept without the angel care monitor we have. The monitor beeps every time Hayleigh breathes, and will set off an alarm if she should ever stop breathing for more than 15 seconds. IT really gives me some peace of mind.
I do have to say that all I want to do is shop for clothes for Hayleigh now, and take pictures. Allen swears that I have to have a pkg coming at least once a week from eBay or amazon. I am just really content with where we are in life now. Finally a Family.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Here... One Year Later

This is what we had going on EXACTLY one year ago from now.... Can you believe we are now here with a BABY???!!!!! I know it is early right now, but, I was up with Hayleigh and decided to get on my facebook and look at my old photos I have on there. Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks... the album I had made called infertility. I know I am always going on about  how incredible it is that we are where we are today, with Hayleigh. But, if you would look at this and could remember what it was like to go through this stuff too, it would be a little bittersweet to you too. So, today is a day for us to celebrate.. we are nowhere near where we were a year ago, and we are LUCKY. Some couples never do get to have the day we are having today- looking back on the fertility treatments they went through while holding their sweet little bundle of joy. Today is just very surreal, and makes this video below all that more special now.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Wordless Wednesday... Sleeping like a Baby

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz  is exactly what Ms. Hayleigh has been doing for the past few nights now.... all through the night. We are talking from 9:30- 10pm at night to 5:30-6am every morning now! Can you tell just how excited I am? Hayleigh has been an extremely good baby, sleeping very well through the night with the exception of a few nights that I can count on one hand. I do know one thing.. if everyone is right about having a second baby, we are soo screwed. All I have heard is that no two babies are alike, and that usually you have a really good baby and then the total opposite. So, we have our good baby, which makes me really wonder if we want to even go on to try for #2 anytime soon.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Joined at the Boob....

This is one of my favorite photos of Hayleigh soo far- her personality really is starting to show!

Hayleigh was 5wks old in all of these pictures today

Yesterday, Hayleigh turned 5wks old. I ended up taking her up to my mom's house aka Grandma Sue's, so Allen and I could get some yard work done. I ended up running the weedeater the whole time after I got back from dropping Hayleigh off. When we got it all done and got settled back into the house to cool off and shower, it was soo quite. I have to say the house almost felt empty without Hayleigh in it. It is very weird to have someone soo little joined at the boob with you 24/7, to not be there, even if it was for only a few hours. I ended up going back into town to pick Hayleigh up, and go to some of the garage sales with my mom and Hayleigh before picking up Joe's Pizza and heading back home. We had fun going to the very few garage sales that we did, we even got to see a baby boy that was only 2 wks younger than Hayleigh. He had more hair than Hayleigh, and had it styled in a mohawk. We ended up back at our house with my mom and Joe's Pizza to munch on, while we watched It's Complicated... Mom had not seen this movie. Anyway, after Mom left, we settled down for the evening with Hayleigh, all going to bed early. She did not fight sleep at all, she was just as wiped out as we were. All in all, we had a great day out in the nice weather for once, and had time to sit home and enjoy our little girl.

Friday, August 6, 2010

To Be or Not to Be... that is the Question

I hope everyone finds this entertaining... my battles that I have with myself, that I just happen to drag Allen into. This is all CRAZY I am warning you, but, it is a real reality of WHAT IF....

It is funny how you can go through life trying to prevent something, then go to wanting it to happen, and then back to trying to prevent it again. BABIES. It has been since Janurary of 04 that I went off of the pill and never did go back on it until now. A part of me just wants to shuck the stupid things out the window, the other is scared to think if something did happen on it's own this time, I would be stuck at home by myself most of the time with an 11 month old and a newborn next year. Scarry to think huh? I cannot tell you just how many people have told me to throw those pills away, and if it happens this time without having to go through all of the doctor visits, ultrasounds, shots, and that stupid dip stick deal again, it would be a great thing for us. Tempting as this is, I have things holding me/us back, and things screaming GO FOR IT in the back of my mind.
IF We did get pregnant right off of the bat again:
1. Hayleigh will not have our full attention, or a fair first year with us.
2. I would be stressed beyond belief trying to take care of the house, yard, 2 dogs, and a baby while pregnant.
3. Just how much would this all cost?
4. I don't think Allen and I would ever get time alone ever again.
5. Hayleigh is worth more to us than doing that to her.
2. FREE to Get Pregnant this time
3. Done having kids by the time we would both be 28- goal is 30.
4. Hayleigh and sibling would be close in age, maybe get along better
5. I loved being pregnant, and can see just why the Duggars are addicted to having kids.
6. We already love Hayleigh more than anything in the world, just think if there were two of them to love.

Yes, I know this is silly, but, I love to play what if game all of the time. Going off of the pill, getting pregnant on our own, makes me feel scared in some ways. I am afraid that IF we have just 1 more, we cannot just stop with just 1 more, and be like a cat lady collecting cats, or like the Duggars collecting babies. Some things in this world are just too precious to take for granted, or cheat... like Hayleigh's first year. So, we are still for the time being, or until Hayleigh gets over 6 months old, staying on the stupid pill... For now that is.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Hayleigh and the shortest Month in History...

 Hayleigh after a long day of turning 4 wks old....
Last Friday was very special.. my grandpa turned 80 years old, and Hayleigh 1 whole month! I sat there that morning thinking back a month ago, what all had happened, thinking I wished I would have known then what I know now. I wish I would have had a little bit of time to relax before Hayleigh got here. I think this would have really helped out with my labor a little bit more. I wish I would have known at the time that the jaundice was not that big of a deal. I realize that I was all hopped up on hormones when this was all going on, but, I like to be prepared for everything. Anyway, I sat and rocked Hayleigh in her room after a feeding, watching the clock, wishing I could visit a month ago again. I sat there with Hayleigh in my arms, thinking back a year ago then... I wish I could tell myself that everything would work out, and soon then, that the first round though failed, would be a distant memory by now. I sat there crying, soo happy to be where we are now, then... Hayleigh spit up all over me! She had this look on her face like someone had just slapped her. Poor girl! So, I got us both changed and cleaned up. I had to get us ready to go shopping with my mom later on that day anyway. We ended up at Kohls once again. I seriously do not know if they have an outfit that Hayleigh does not have. The question when shopping there my mom constantly is asking is if Hayleigh has a certain outfit and in what size. After purchasing yet again more outfits, we went to Jo Ann's Fabric to get some stamp pads to get Hayleigh's foot prints on everything I wanted to get them on. We ended up with hot pink, pastel pink, and black. The ink is all washable, so, Hayleigh did not fuss much when we did get around to stamping her feet. We finally went and both got pedicures at the new nail salon in Vincennes. This was my mom's first pedicure and my 2nd. I ended up getting my toes tiger striped. After leaving there, I ended up hurrying home to run a few errands and going out to eat with just my dad. I cannot get over just how much both of my parents love showing Hayleigh off. After spending time with my dad, I headed home, and got Hayleigh settled in for bed, since Allen would not be in until Saturday morning. After I got Hayleigh down for the night in her bassinet, I did snap a few pictures. After a very long day out, we finally got to really relax and celebrate... Hayleigh is a month old!

Wordless Wednesday....Better than a Puppy

This is my mom.. aka Grandma Sue with Hayleigh at the Wendelin Picnic from Sunday. This was Hayleigh's first church picnic, and will be the start of many more. Grandma Sue had fun showing off Hayleigh and exclaiming that she is a Proud Grandma as you can see in the picture.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Wordless Wednesday... WHOA!!!!

Guess who will be a month old already on Friday???!!!! I know it doesn't seem possible she will be a month old already!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Random thoughts and happenings

I haven't had anything much to report lately. Hayleigh, Allen, and I have been very busy. Hayleigh is growing like a weed of course. She gets weighed at the doctor on Thursday to make sure her weight keeps going up. I have my postpartum checkup tomorrow, which I am excited to find out how much I have lost again on weight. Things have been pretty quite around the house. Hayleigh's Godfather, Garrett, stopped by with his mom, Tonya, my cousin to meet Hayleigh for the first time today. It was really great seeing him hold Hayleigh- she really does make everyone smile and puts a sparkle in their eyes. I am sure she enjoyed the visit as well, she stayed bright eyed and bushy tailed for them.. did not fuss until after they left for her lunch and nap.
We did happen to find a rocking chair for Hayleigh. We picked it up at a local store, and I have to say it really does look like Crackle Barrel's rocking chair- it was just unfinished. We had my dad paint it for Hayleigh - he sprayed it high gloss white, to match the nursery. Time is passing soo fast now. Hayleigh will be a whole month old already on Friday- the same day my Grandpa turns 80 years old. We have come to find out that Hayleigh is allergic to Huggies diapers. I am not too thrilled about this, since Huggies is my favorite, and I really do not care for Pampers- they get droopy and mushy- not like the Huggies. Allen's mom has been here visiting Hayleigh for the last week and a half, and we will hate to see her leave. I know this blog has been totally random, but, I am trying to get this done before Hayleigh gets up from her nap, and these are just the few things that I can think to write about really quickly. I'll have another post with pictures up on Thursday when I can get a chance to get them uploaded.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Hayleigh turned 3wks, and we cried......

I have been soo busy to say the least. Today, Hayleigh is now 3wks old, and Monday was my due date. Monday was soo sad for me. Monday, my intended due date, was the last little thing that marked Hayleigh being early. I cannot explain it, and I know it sounds silly, but, I really do miss being pregnant. It is not because I am getting less sleep, or anything like that. Getting pregnant took us all of the 5 years, and carrying Hayleigh went by too fast for me. I really did love being pregnant, and can now see why people have soo many kids. Being pregnant gives you a real "womanly" sense. I felt soo feminine and thought that the curves I had from the baby bump were just soo beautiful. I miss feeling Hayleigh kick me, and I miss singing going down the highway to the radio, and rubbing my belly, thinking of Hayleigh. Now, I can look at her in the mirror when it is just the two of us in the car, but, I did catch myself to start to rub my belly the other day, singing along with the radio, until I realized that there was no longer a "bump" there, and Hayleigh was sitting in the back in her pumpkin seat. So, now, I just sing for her. I know I cannot wait to get pregnant again someday- hopefully not until Hayleigh is 1 year old. Both Allen & I really want to make our time with Hayleigh special, and just enjoy having us three as a family. I have had a lot of people laugh at me over this, already wanting more. I guess it is just wanting to know if we have to go through it all again. I think it would be soo nice not having to plan everything for once.
The last few weeks really have flown by. I cannot believe that Hayleigh is already almost one whole month old now. Her doctor appointments have went by just fine. We had a thrush scare, and she has finally gained all of her weight she had lost back- she lost a full pound within a few days of being born. I have now lost 30lbs- which is fantastic! I haven't been trying to lose any weight, but, I guess with breast feeding, it falls off of you, no matter what you eat. I feel great now, and have almost gotten back to everything I was doing pre pregnancy.

 Motherhood is everything I hoped it would be. I am sure that Allen can say the same about becoming a father too. I know one of the best things that has come from having Hayleigh... I am now really close to my own parents, and I have a greater love for my mom. I just hope that Hayleigh and I can share that one day too.

Part III Hayleigh Arrival and Jaundice... my little glow worm

On Saturday morning, we went up to the hospital, and took Hayleigh back to OB. I had to strip her down, so they could get her weight and then scan her forehead with the billie rubeon test. She ended up going up to 17.3- and the pediatrician wanted to see her again on Sunday morning. he made us aware that breastfeeding would prolong the jaundice and it would not go down as easily. So, Saturday, Allen went and shot sporting clays with his grandpa, and I had my sister come over with her boyfriend from out of town to visit Hayleigh for the first time. I had Hayleigh out in the sun for about 40 minutes under the tree out in our back yard to try to help with the jaundice. Magen  and her boyfriend, Brad really enjoyed visiting and dressing up Hayleigh. My mom later brought by supper. She brought green beans with sausage, new potatoes,homemade angel food cake, and macaroni and cheese- I had whined that they were finally serving macaroni and cheese the day I left the hospital. I have to say that every time my mom came out, I just wanted her to stay. I have never felt soo clingy to my mother in all of my life. It really is funny how we cling to our moms when we are little, then try to get away from them as we are teenagers, and then have babies, and go back to being our mom's babies again. Magen had to leave, and I spent the rest of the evening trying to get Hayleigh to eat. She slept soo good that night too! 5 1/2 hrs.

Sunday.. 4th of July. We had to go to the hospital.. yet again. This time, they drew blood from Hayleigh's heel. The guy that did it, was nervous, especially with Allen standing over him, watching our little girl. We went back to OB, her jaundice went up to 18.7... and she lost a whole pound, now down to 6lbs 14 oz. The pediatrician wanted to admit Hayleigh to the hospital.. Mom asked how long the average stay was. The Ped didn't want to say, but, finally told us 2-3 days. I was in shock. Allen and my mom were there with me, while I was trying to make sense of it all. We asked if there was anything we could try for the day. After twisting his arm a bit, we got to go home and do light therapy for the day, and had to come back that evening to test her jaundice again. I couldn't leave my baby at the hospital now! So, Allen had to talk to the people that were bringing the light out to our house, while I sat and rocked Hayleigh, about to melt down into tears. Mom asked me if I knew what the Ped had been saying, that he wanted to admit Hayleigh. I told her I did, but, was waiting for him to give us another option. Allen got back from talking to the nurses at the desk and the people bringing the light out to us. The plan was to give Hayleigh nothing but formula, I would pump, and she would stay under the light unless she was being fed every 2 hrs or changed. The nurses were nice enough to send us some extra formula home with us, and we sent Allen's dad and step mom into Walmart to pick me up a breast pump and some more formula, so we could get home and start tending to Hayleigh.

The people showed up set up the light machine, and we got Hayleigh right on it. It strapped around her belly with her in her diaper and she just slept with it running.
 Hayleigh - my "little glow worm" all hooked up to the light therapy

My dad was one of the first visitors with my step  mom and step sister to visit. It was really bittersweet. No one could hold Hayleigh. We just sat there and stared at her all hooked up. I finally offered to have everyone look at the nursery- since no one had seen the finished product. Dad made a quick circle around and decided to leave the room. My step mom said he had ice cream, and had become lactose intolerant. I peeked around the corner to see if Dad had went to the bathroom.. he stood over Hayleigh smiling at her in the living room. Seeing this made me want to cry. I told them before they left Dad could feed Hayleigh since she was on formula then. He got all excited, until the time came. He said he would just watch... as you can see below, I made him feed her. He was very nervous, and kept asking if he would drown her. I told him he was fine, and, so was Hayleigh. 

 Hayleigh's light therapy machine
So, after everyone left, I finally got to pump. My milk had been coming in, my boobs felt like softballs that someone had been smacking with a ball bat. I ended up pumping 6 oz out. Just after I got done pumping, we took Hayleigh in to the hospital again, got her foot pricked again, and sent to the OB to wait for the results. After about an hour, the results were in... 15.3!!! We were instructed to come back in the morning again, and if the numbers were down again, we were in the clear. We ended up celebrating, since Allen had a bad feeling before we got the results. We took Hayleigh to Walmart, and got sparklers, since we wouldn't be able to go to the fireworks that night. We kept that poor girl on the lights all night. I felt soo relieved. We went back to the hospital Monday morning, and back to lab and OB, her jaundice was down again to 14.5. The Ped said to resume breastfeeding her, and discontinue the light therapy, but to come back in one more time on Tuesday morning just to check with the scan this time. Long story short, we had Hayleigh's 1 wk appt on Tuesday, jaundice went down to 13.2, she was perfectly fine, and to go back on Thursday for a follow up scan, that ended up being 12.8. It was a very tough week for both Allen and I, especially Hayleigh's poor feet! But, we made it through it all.

Back to Part II of Hayleigh's arrival.

Okay... I am sure I left off on day one of Hayleigh being here. Our hospital stay was great. The first night, I requested to have Hayleigh every few hours for nursing her, and, just anytime she was fussy, for her to be brought into my room. I know I should have taken advantage of the rest now while I could, but, I felt guilty sending Hayleigh out there, when she was not asleep. I had waited forever to get her, why send her away now? So, Allen stayed on the couch that turned into a bed, and I had Hayleigh every two hours. Kim, the nurse I had had while in labor was working that night as well, kind of smirked every time she brought me Hayleigh and woke me up. I didn't mind, and I think I had to be the happiest person going on very little sleep, no complaints from me! At the 4:30am feeding, I sat there thinking of just where I had been the night before, just starting to push, when 6:30 rolled around, I sat there and cried, my little girl was 1 day old already! I just sat there trying to take in everything that had happened in the last 24- 48 hrs. How this all started Tuesday morning. I even wanted to go back and relive it all again- can anyone else say they actually wanted to do this? I still would to this day. Just to feel one last kick from Hayleigh, and sit there and enjoy it, really enjoy it. I say this because I was soo out of it to think like this when Hayleigh was coming.

Allen with Hayleigh - Hayleigh 2hrs old

Anyway, day two. Day two was great! I had my street clothes on- capris, and a pink shirt. I straightened up my room in between feedings. I could barely nap at all. I showered, and then put makeup on and did my hair. I was all ready to go home! But, I could not. Hayleigh and I had to stay 48hrs after she was born because I had tested positive for the Strep B Bacterial- which is very common from what I had found out. Allen went home and straightened up the house and mowed with my mom's help. We had visitors that day in and out. Later that night we had our "stork dinner", which turned out to be a complete joke. Allen's dad and his step mom, finally made it from California to see Hayleigh, right about the same time my dad was leaving with my step mom. Allen ended up leading his dad into the room, and I gave him Hayleigh. I still cannot get over the way Hayleigh makes people react. Allen's dad ended up going back out to his truck, and let Allen's step mom come in to see Hayleigh- they drove all the way here, and had their two little dogs out there. They ended up going out to our house and got settled in before returning back into town to visit once again. Allen ended up going out to eat with them, while I sat and cuddled with Hayleigh. We had one rude nurse that kept taking Hayleigh away in the middle of her feedings to see the pediatrician, which really did not make me too happy. It was hard sitting in my room across from the nursery listening to my baby cry and cry. What made this the hardest was that the nurse would not bring her back to me, and would not swaddle Hayleigh either. I had a very sweet nurse that would bring her back every time she saw Hayleigh in there, and would re swaddle  her for me. Hayleigh ended up failing her hearing test in one ear that day, but, passed it the next day, and she started to develop a higher jaundice level. It started out at 13 on Thursday. Thursday night was to be our last night at the hospital, so, Allen went ahead and slept at the house after spending both Tuesday and Wednesday nights there. It was harder not having anyone in the room just for comfort with me, besides Hayleigh. We made it through the night with flying colors though. Friday morning, Hayleigh's pediatrician came in and informed me that Hayleigh's Jaundice was now up over 15, and to bring her in Saturday morning for a billie check. I thought for a while they were wanting to keep Hayleigh for a day, and let me go home, or keep us both. When I told Allen this, I could hear it in his voice, he missed us and was scared. We ended up getting discharged at 10 am, and Allen and his dad were there to take us home. I ended up just leaving Hayleigh in her hospital sweater and blanket to bring her home- she was asleep, and I wanted to get home. We got home, and I didn't know what to do. It was soo weird being gone since Tuesday morning, until then. I changed Hayleigh's diaper, and put her in a onesie, and then laid on the couch since my feet were still really swollen. It hit me like a ton of bricks then... baby blues. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be alone with just Allen and Hayleigh, I wanted my Mom. I got immediately scared the Hayleigh could die. I didn't say a word to anyone until that night when Allen and I were lying there in bed talking. Hayleigh had slept most of the day that day- exhausted from visiting with my mom, and everyone else. I didn't even think that her jaundice was a problem.
Hayleigh and my mom on our first afternoon home. 

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Almost There.....

Almost there is where I am on being caught up with everything around the house with taking care of both my sweeties. Allen has been sick, and with the addition of Hayleigh, it hasn't made things all that easy. I have gotten tons of stuff done around the house that I had been wanting to get done for sometime now, and with having another being in the house demanding my complete attention, I am pretty pleased with what I have accomplished. I think here in a month, you would not even have guessed we had a baby recently. I should have the yard whipped back into shape, and have a pretty regular schedule set up with Hayleigh too. I am almost done with the inside of the house, and am planning an attack on the outside in the next few weeks. I just have to get the ok from Sandy before I turn this into turbo speed.

Things have been sailing along quite smoothly. I cannot complain about much of anything at all really. Breastfeeding has been a breeze so far. I was worried about that. Hayleigh is just fighting going to sleep more now, and I have been fighting the time... she turned 2wks yesterday...sob sob. ..... I cannot believe how fast this has all went already! I just really want to keep Hayleigh this size for a few more months, then I think I might be ready for her to grow. I cannot believe how our famlies have come together and really have gotten soo excited over Hayleigh. It really makes my heart smile soo much when I see everyone light up when they are around my sweet little girl. It really is amazing just how much a new little live can really change the lives of those around her.

We had some visitors today... My aunt Judy, and my cousins Tonya and Ami. Tonya and Judy are really special to us anyway. Tonya was my "buddy" when I was little. I was joined at the hip to her when we had a family get together. Judy lost her husband, my uncle to ALS this last early spring, but before this, their family was among the very first to know that Hayleigh was on the way with the potential of a few other siblings at the same time too. I really do wish that my uncle could be here now to see Hayleigh, but, like Tonya and I agreed today, at least he knew Hayleigh was on her way before he passed. We have spent several Thanksgivings and Easters with this family, and I just cannot express how very special they all really are to us.  Now, we have asked Tonya if her son, Garrett, can be Hayleigh's God Father. I could not imagine it any other way.

We also recently just got the preview of the newborn pics we had taken last Thursday as well. I have to say I cannot wait to see the rest!

To see the rest you can see them on my facebook page, or go to shutterbugkeepsakes.com

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Announcing the birth of our daughter, Hayleigh Antonetta McCann Part One

Hayleigh just born
Hayleigh 6 days Old

So, now everyone can see why I haven't been on here for a while. I was waiting to post the 37 wks  post on Tuesday, after my doctor's appointment, to post what I had found out. Last Tuesday, at work, I started not feeling soo hot at 6:30 am, I was dizzy and was just plain yucky feeling. I checked my blood pressure with the little wrist blood pressure monitor we have there at work, and it gave the reading of 139/87, which is higher than mine has been this whole time. I called Allen at home- lucky he did not take the load he was to take to St. Joe Missouri, to tell him to come and pick me up, since I did not feel like driving home. I called my mom, and asked her if I should go ahead and call Sandy, my midwife, but, since I already had an appointment scheduled for that morning at 10:10am, we decided to just wait. I came home with Allen after work, and laid down until it was time to leave. Luckily, we had halfway packed an overnight bag for me for "just in case". We made it to the clinic, weighed- I had gained the 2 lbs back- bringing me back up to 20lbs, and one of the OB doctors checked me- I was dilated to 4 already. I asked the question of could I get out of work for the rest of the week, and just how long she thought I had until the baby would be ready. She replied that she would go and get Sandy. Sandy then comes right back, and asks me how I feel about having a baby today....UMMMMM I replied, I just wanted to get out of work for the rest of the week, so, we left the clinic, and went straight to the hospital. Both Mom, and Allen were with me this whole time, and were getting soo excited. Allen told me I turned white as a ghost when Sandy told me what was going to happen. I know I was shaking and about to cry. I wasn't ready! I still had stuff to clean in the house, and wanted to have time to relax before this! Anyway, after dealing with this is really happening now, both Allen and I called everyone that was "on call" and our works to let them know what was going on. I got checked in to the hospital, and put right in a room- the biggest room they had, since we were the only ones in there that day. I got hooked up to the monitors, and sat on the bed, thinking everything was soo surreal. Mom  got to put my IV in, since the nurse blew my vein. I was then put on pitocin to induce labor. I sat there in the bed, while Allen and my Mom ran around getting everything I/we needed that was not packed. I sat and sat and sat. Sandy came and checked on me, and I had a few visitors- Allen's grandparents and a few of our friends. I had my water broken at 4:30 pm- it really hurt bad! It wasn't until about 7:30 that I started to really need some pain relief, with contractions every minute and a half apart. I got a drug administered to my IV to help take the "edge" off. I was soo delirious that I could barely keep my eyes open halfway. I once asked my mom if she needed more light to finish Hayleigh's baby quilt, I told her we had a baby wipe warmer with a light she could use.  The medicine worked great for an hour and a half, then the contractions started rolling in again. My mom sent for the nurse to get more of the same drug that I had in the IV- it did not help at all. My mom was rubbing my back every few minutes with bath and body works Christmas lotion - I don't know what I would have done without her. Then, my blood pressure cuff kept pumping up - it did this for 3 minutes straight. The nurse had previously changed the cuff 3 times. I had a melt down with the blood pressure machine in the middle of a really hard contraction. I was bawling my eyes out, calling the machine everything I could think of, begging anyone to take it the "F" off of me. I finally made it through the contraction and the blood pressure machine was stopped for a minute. My dad, and his wife, and her daughter had witnessed all of this and had stayed for the previous 2 hrs to help out. My dad and step mom decided to go ahead and leave, but, my stepsister, did not want to leave when things got really hard for me and thought everything was really interesting to watch.  My mom then called for the nurse to check me, and see about getting an epidural to help me rest. I was dilated to 8 and we called for the epidural. I could only have one person in the room with me at the time, even Sandy had to step out. I had my Mom stay. She had been my support for the last 4 hrs of pain, I wanted to have someone who could help me keep my focus there. Allen stood out in the hall with Sandy and talked about how they just "knew" I wouldn't make it through that week without going into labor. The epidural did not really hurt. Every video I had seen or tv show I had watched with a person getting an epidural, had made it out to hurt really bad- not in my case. The epidural helped sooo much! My epidural ended up running out and getting pulled out of my back, I was soo out of it, talking about Cameron Diaz and a truck blocking a drive. Everyone had been laughing, and I didn't even know it. When my mom asked what I was talking about, I replied that it was stupid and never mind. I pushed and pushed- I thought I was not making any progress, I couldn't believe how hard this all was to get Hayleigh's head out. Once her head was out, I could not hardly take it anymore. Then, the shoulders were the worst thing for me. I handled it all feeling like I was dying- I never cussed. Finally, at 6:28 am, Hayleigh came out into the world. I was soo exhausted when they put her on my belly that I didn't realize what was happening right then. I had been up for over 24hrs at that point. I rubbed Hayleigh and started crying, or tried to cry- I was almost too exhausted to cry. I kept asking what I needed to do, and they just let Hayleigh lay on my belly. Allen cut the cord, and Sandy was remarking about how big the umbilical cord was, and didn't know how she was going to clamp it. The nurses took Hayleigh over to the warming station, and checked her out. While she was there, I sat there and cried, realizing what had just happened. We finally were here. A family of 3 now. Allen and my mom were by my side, Allen kissed me and told me how great I had done. I told him to go over with my mom and hold Hayleigh. Sandy worked on getting the placenta delivered, and then started to repair the very minor damage I had- she said I could go without stitches, but, she would just give me a few just to make everything heal a little faster. Amazingly I had no injections to numb for the stitches. I asked Sandy if I had a bm while delivering Hayleigh, she replied, "NO". NOO! I was soo happy! I got to sip on a sprite while they took Hayleigh to the nursery to check her out, with Allen by her side. I went ahead and asked to go to the bathroom, since I could feel my legs really good. One of the nurses helped me to the bathroom, told me what all I needed to do to take care of myself, and helped me back to my bed. I got back to the bed, and they brought Hayleigh back to me with Allen. We had a full waiting room just for Hayleigh, Allen told me, and then everyone come in to meet our new family. They all held Hayleigh and just went on how beautiful she was. I had a renewed energy, sitting there soo proud of our new family, thinking of how long we had waited for this. After a while, everyone filed out, and let me rest- I just sat there beaming, holding Hayleigh. I got some lunch after a while, and decided I felt good, I had made it to the restroom 3 times by myself, and started straightening up the room, and myself. A nurse came in and asked if we would like to be in the commercial that they were filming for the hospital, I told her yes. That evening after many visitors, we filmed the commercial. Hayleigh wasn't even a day old! Allen went and got us take out from the steakhouse, and we sat and bonded with our new little girl. My mom and dad were soo proud of Hayleigh. I have never seen my dad act the way he did, and still does now. I will have a few more parts to this to catch everyone up on where we are now. Everyone is doing great, we are home, and my heart aches every day from having soo much love I didn't even know I could have for my mom, dad, and our new family. I know I now have a deeper bond with my mom. I couldn't have done this without her by my side. I never knew that I would feel soo much love like this. I kind of feel like the Grinch - my heart grew 10 times bigger that day, and I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything in the world.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

36wks and T is for TWO!

Yesterday, Hayles and I made it to 36wks... YAY! Second, I had my doctor's appt today... lost 2lbs- back down to 18lbs total weight gain, and dilated to 2 centimeters!! Double YAY! Sandy doesn't think Hayleigh will be such a huge baby now, and says from the looks of everything, and how I have already started losing my mucas plug, and she has dropped down more, I should not go past my due date! And I got 2 parts of the back yard mowed today too! Great Day for ME! I go back a week from today to see a regular OB, Dr. Hatten, instead of my midwife I am seeing to check me off.  Anyway, I will keep this short today- it is hot, and I still haven't been to bed yet or had lunch.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day for the new Daddy to Be

Today, we celebrated Allen's first Father's Day, even though Hayleigh will not technically be here for a few weeks.... errr.. sometime soon anyway. Everything seems to be chugging right along with this wicked weather. I sucked it up today and went with Allen to shoot sporting clays- I just stayed in the cart while he jumped in and out. He says that without me along with him the last few times he has went, it just is not the same. We are usually side by side on the weekends, and never do much of anything on our own on the weekends, since we do not get to see that much of each other through the week. Today, I didn't even get the camera out to take any pictures, but, Allen did get a great Father's Day card earlier this week that I had made on shutterfly.com. I am sure that next years Father's Day will be even more special- by then Hayleigh should be close to saying mommy and daddy hopefully. We really plan on working with her a lot on everything we can. We didn't come this far just to relax and let go. Anyway, Happy Father's Day to all of the Dads, Dads to Be, and Grandpas!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Sneak Peek to Maternity Pics are IN!!!!

Okay, here are four of the many pics that Jenny took on last Saturday. I am soo excited to see how the others turned out as well! My favorite is taken in Hayleigh's room by the window. It is just really weird to see me with such a baby bump now, that it makes me really want to cry from being soo happy that this really is REAL. If anyone is interested in having Jenny take their pics that lives in my area, her website is posted below. THANK YOU JENNY FOR MAKING THIS SOO SPECIAL FOR US! We really enjoyed our time we had with Jenny, and she has soo much insite on becoming a new mama too- makes me breath a sigh of relief. All in all, the shoot went very well, very comfortable too! Cannot wait for the newborn pics!


35wks... pregnancy brain, and ummm....

Monday, Hayleigh and I made it to 35wks... did I even notice that I did not do a blog post on this? NOPE! I guess this week has been very busy. We had our maternity pictures taken on Saturday by Jenny Riggs Seiler. Everything went great- we are glad we did not go outside to do a shoot in the 90 degree weather and had such a great time with Jenny. Besides the maternity pics, most of the final stuff for the nursery has come this week too! Everything is pretty much ready now, just waiting for this girl to get here. Yesterday, Hayleigh begin to drop down, let me just say how much that hurt! My next appointment is on Tuesday, so, maybe we will just see how much longer until the big day! 4 wks from tomorrow is also my due date now, and everything is becoming more real as each day goes by. It is funny how fast this has all went, and I know that I keep saying this, but it is really true. Allen took a break yesterday from blowing out the gutters on the house- usually my job, anyway, we just sat there and talked about how we would have never guessed we would be here now... 9 months pregnant on Monday! We just sat there going on about how lucky we are that we are here now, and that just a year ago, it was one of the farthest things from our minds... we had pretty much given up on becoming parents anytime soon back then. Now, we joke when stuff is pilling up to get done, "why couldn't we be happy with just dogs?" The answer to this is clear, and our lives as we know it now, will be forever changed within a months time. Talk about scary... in a short amount of time, we will be responsible for another life! I don't think we would ever trade any of this for anything in the world!

Hayleigh's developments for the week:

Week 35 of Pregnancy

A rapidly growing brain makes your baby's head weigh more and that means more pressure on Mommy's bladder.
Your Baby in Week 35 of Pregnancy
Your baby is standing tall (so to speak) this week at about 20 inches and continues her steady weight gain (she’s about 5.5 pounds). While she won't get much longer, she will continue to pack on the pounds — including large amounts of baby fat — right up 'til delivery day. Something else that's moving at a mind-boggling pace these day: fetal brain development! There’s a lot going on inside that tiny head, which is, by the way, still soft to allow an easier exit through the birth canal.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Wordless Wednesday... The Crib is Complete!

New Wall Decal from www.quotethewalls.com

Crib finished with new crib skirt from Pottery Barn Kids 
Well, the crib is complete, and the new wall decal is now up, finishing off the area. I am soo happy that I ordered the second decal- it really made the wall above the crib look sooo sweet. I had Allen help me today while he was home put the decal up, and put the crib skirt on the crib. I am very pleased with how the room has turned out this far, and could not have imagined it looking any better! Now, just to get the baby in the room, and we will be set!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Welcome to Babyland!

As Franck in Father of the Bride Part II says anyway... The nursery is 99% complete right now! I am just waiting on some things to get here... crib skirt from Pottery Barn Kids, Wall decal for behind the crib. The only other things we need to get yet are a monitor and a glider. Other than that, I would say if Hayleigh came today, she would not notice those few things missing. I finally got my butt in gear and took some pictures in the daylight, for some reason, the lighting in that room turns the walls a yellow color at night, so, the pics I took today are a whole lot better!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

34wks Are we there Yet?

On Monday, Hayles and I made it to 34 wks. Let me just say, I am sooo ready for her to come out now! Nesting has finally started kicking in now. I think today was the first day that I actually relaxed for once. I had my 34 wk doctor appointment on Monday too. I had to wait one whole hour to get in- the longest soo far! We did the usual... I gained the most in the last 2 wks that I have soo far- 5lbs, bringing me up to 20lbs total for this whole ride. I found out Hayleigh is now 6.5 lbs give or take an ounce or two. After the 22nd of this month, I will start going once a week from then on out, if we even make it past then. Sandy said that Hayleigh should be ready between the 28th of this month, up to the week before I am due. I am hoping for the first of July or around there. Hopefully this little ham decides she is getting too crampt, and wants out.

Saturday was the baby shower, everything went great. I will have a seperate post on that with some of the pictures taken from it on here soon! Sunday, Allen and I went to Terre Haute, to Babies'R'US to pick up the mattress and the changing pad for the nursery. We ended up getting some sheet savers, changing pad covers, the bumper, and more clothes... even though Allen forbid me to buy anymore. I went to the bathroom, and come back out to find him on the 40% off wall for the baby adidas clothes. He had the handle of the cart loaded with hot pink adidas outfits. At least he picked out 9mths and 12 mths clothes. They are all soo cute! We also went to Lowes and picked up a new ceiling fan for the nursery as well. The white one in there was very old, and was out of balance. We no more than got home, and Allen had our neighbor come over and help put the new fan up. Allen was soo excited about getting everything up, he had to put the bumper and the mattress in the crib himself. He got that all done, and stood there, looking around the room and just smiled. I thought he was going to cry there for a minute. I just sat on the floor smiling at him, he turned around, and saw me smiling at him, and told me not to make fun of him. I don't know anything more sweet than seeing Allen getting soo excited about becoming a daddy, and having soo much pride in that nursery. I have to give him credit, he has picked out the majority of everything that has went in there, from the furniture, to the mattress- he had to have the best for our little ham. Now, I am just getting everything washed and put away. I think I have seriously done 10 loads of laundry for Hayleigh now. I really cannot believe that in just around a months time, we will be a family of 3, instead of 2, and the house will no longer be as quite as it is now for a really long time!

Wordless Wednesday..She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes!

Yes, this is my belly now, and yes the "lump" up above sticking out, is Hayleigh sticking her butt out. She has been putting her fat little butt in my ribs, my diaphragm, and pushing out on my sides like no other now. She is now up to 6.5lbs according to my midwife as of Monday morning. I'll have the blog post for the appointment and the shower on here ASAP. I figured I would do a preview of my big belly before Jenny comes and takes the maternity pics on Saturday.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Bittersweet Thoughts

I've been feeling really anxious lately, thinking of just how soon it will be until we become parents. I have been trying to get the house ready, mainly organized before this all happens. Saturday is the big baby shower that I have been planning for most of my life. Like I have said before, I LOVE the Father of the Bride movies, and have been hanging on to some ideas for this big day for a really long time now. It is really hard to believe that in just  3 more weeks, I will be off of work after tomorrow, and in just 4-5 wks Hayleigh should be making her way into the world. It just does not seem like we should be here already. I keep looking in the nursery, and thinking to myself about how much time I will soon be spending in there. It is funny I catch Allen doing the same thing when he is home, just standing in that room, looking around. The dogs have even been sneaking in there snooping around all of the new stuff, and I am sure they know something big is going on, but, really have no idea of what is about to hit our house.

I am soo happy that I have finally been able to get sleep once again! I have figured out what I need to do to get comfortable now, and have it down to a science. 2 throw pillows- one wedged under my belly, and the other wedged under my back. I was starting to get afraid that I would not be getting any more good quality sleep from here on out after spending 2 of the 4 nights last weekend, sleeping in the recliner in the family room.

Everything is falling into place quite well, I just hope that everything keeps on running smooth here on out. I know Saturday will be a really busy day, but, I cannot wait to see all of our family and friends and share the excitement of Hayleigh becoming a reality. We have waited soo long to be here, it just does not seem possible that we are already in the home stretch. The only thing that is bittersweet is that here really soon, I will not be pregnant anymore, feeling all of those kicks, pushes, and jabs from our little ham, and be holding her in my arms instead. It just seems like I was just getting used to the idea of being pregnant, and we are already almost done!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Wordless Wednesday..These Boots were Made for Walkin

Hayleigh's first camo - came from Nana Rose & Papa Ronnie this last weekend. The boots are too cute! I am ususally not a big fan of pink and camo, but these little boots were just made to walk all over hearts, especially with who will be wearing them.

Monday, May 31, 2010

33 wks and the uncomfortable train has rolled in

 Today is 33 wks for Hayls and me. I wish I could say that everything has been great, but the uncomfortable part has officially settled in now. I just wonder how much longer until I have sleep insomnia once again. Sleep has been the problem for me now. I just cannot get comfortable at all. My back hurts sooo bad with my pelvis shifting once again. My belly propped up on pillows now, makes my head feel like it is at the bottom of a mountain.I slept in the recliner on Saturday night- I couldn't get comfy at all. My dreams are not soo happy ones anymore- last night I dreamed that I lost Hayleigh.. she quit moving, and I did not know what to even do. .I dreamed that my Grandma died the other night. I just do not know why I keep dreaming of people I love being ripped away from me I realize now that I am still afraid that this can all just be ripped away from us still. I cannot wait to sleep on my back once again! The only other thing bothering me now, is that people are back to annoying me, I become snippy- I think this is due to me being uncomfortable and hot, and people just being stupid.

My doctors appt last Tuesday went well. I only gained 1 lb in the last 2 wks once again, making my total gain 15lbs. I am very proud of this, especially since I have not even tried at all to watch what I eat. Hayleigh is a VERY active little girl.. Sandy points this out every time I have an appointment and she kicks the fetal monitor off my belly, no matter where Sandy puts it. This last week, all of the kicks and squirms have went from wow watch this, to ouch that HURTS! I went to work 2 nights last week with my ribs hurting on my left side, and my left side has become a lot more tender lately from all of the punches. I wish she would quit beating me up, but, with the dream I had last night, I think I am still grateful for the beatings. Sandy is ordering another ultrasound to check Hayleigh's position and her weight, since we are sure she is around 5lbs or more right now. I am hoping that she comes 1-2 wks early, and I get to be induced. The only reason I would like to be induced besides Hayleigh being soo big, is that I would not have to worry about Allen missing her coming into the world. Other than that, everything has been just fine.

I have been working on getting baby clothes washed and sorted, and put up, along with everything else in the house organized while I still can. My to-do list has grown way out of control, but, I am taking it all day by day.

I guess now I should finish with Hayleigh's developments for this week- just keep in mind we have a little ham that is bigger than what the books say she should be!

Week 33 of Pregnancy

Your baby's immune system gets a boost, while her sleepless mommy could use a boost of energy.
Your Baby in Week 33 of Pregnancy
Your baby is still gaining weight (about half a pound a week), and she could grow up to another full inch this week. With that much baby inside your uterus, your amniotic-fluid level has maxed out, which explains why some of her pokes and kicks feel pretty sharp these days. (There's less fluid to cushion the blows.) Antibodies are being passed from you to your little one as she continues to develop her own fetal immune system, which will come in handy once she's outside the womb and fending off all sorts of germs.
Learn more about your baby in week 33 and the fetal immune system.
Your Body in Week 33 of Pregnancy
With midnight bathroom runs, leg cramps, heartburn, and your basketball-sized belly, it's no wonder sleep is elusive. Third-trimester insomnia strikes about three-quarters of pregnant women (who may also be coping with a mind that races all night long thinking about your to-do-before-the-baby-comes list). But your body needs rest, so do your best to get comfy — before bed and when you get in it. Grab a pile of pillows, wedge them where you need to, and look on the bright side: Pregnancy insomnia is great training for those sleepless nights to come!