Etiquette = Stuck Up?

In days gone by, whenever a person received a gift, they would write a thank-you as soon as possible. This rule was true even if the giver was a relative. Parents would sit children down after a birthday or Christmas and coach them in their first thank-you notes. It is a shame that gift giving has now become a virtual obligation and the idea of a thank-you note would be scoffed at. If you ignore every other item on this list, at least try to teach your children to write thank you notes – they will have a greater appreciation of gifts they receive.

Read more at http://listverse.com/2008/11/26/top-10-lost-rules-of-etiquette/ 

With all of the weddings and baby showers going on in the past few months, and up coming months, I had to say something about this. Etiquette. What the heck has happened to etiquette?? I realize that times are more relaxed now, but has it become the standard now to not send an invitation, or Thank You card? As I type this, I have been working on the Thank You cards for Hayleigh's informal birthday party. I realize that people have good intentions, and we are all busy now a days, but really?! I also realize that cards do get lost in the mail too.

One would think as much time as we all spend online everyday, that one could simply at least send out an ecard? Most ecards are free, and emails definitely are free. So, why is it that no one can send out a proper invitation, whether it be online, a text from a cell phone, or via mail in today's world? Christmas cards are even dying- don't even get me started on those. To me this is very sad.

I cannot even count now how many showers I've been invited to without even receiving an invitation. Also, appalling to me is when people ask on Facebook "for anyone wanting to come to my party, I need your address".... Isn't that part of the job of the hostess?? It really makes me cringe, because I was brought up a completely different way. I'm not saying I am better than anyone else, but to me not receiving an official invite, or Thank You card or note is rude, especially when expected to give a gift. The etiquette I was brought up with, and I know Martha Stewart also goes by, no invite received, means that you are not required to attend or bring a gift. How hard is it to email, or message people individually asking for an address, or texting or calling around? I've done this all on my own every time I've needed addresses for an event, not demanding them online.

The other thing that bothers me is that in today's world, no one is made to suffer. I know this sounds harsh, but it is true. I know many people are gracious givers, and want to help people any way they can- I feel this way, BUT, when do we draw the line? Teenage mothers are now able to spoil their babies they are choosing to have in high school thanks to their parents. They are given lavish baby showers, and people feel obligated to give to the young new mother, and help her out as much as possible. What happened to being embarrassed of having a baby in school? Times have changed I am well aware, but this makes me sick. Why should a teenage mother be given more than the person who has waited until an appropriate time to have a baby? I'm not saying that there needs to be more gifts, or anything like that, but why are we as a society rewarding the ones who get themselves in sticky situations more than the ones who follow the road?

I have given many things to help many young people out. While a few have been gracious and thanked me over and over, there are a few that stick out to me. Those that stick out to me never did say thank you, send a Thank You note, card, email, text, nothing. Instead, they expect more. While the stuff I did gift was left over from my garage sale, there was quite a bit. When the showers came, was there a formal invite? Well, if you call a event page on Facebook an invite, you could say yes, but I know there was some invites sent out. Did I receive one? NOPE... Was I expected to still gift, just because they knew I could not make the shower, and that was the reason for not receiving an invite? YEP. I had already given more than most guests that went to that shower already. Most gifts for a shower average $20, give or take. One of them still has not even thanked me for the extra homemade gifts I left when I did get the gift to them.

Now, lets back track to 2 years ago. These same people, I did send invites to for my baby shower. I took the time to buy the invites, get addresses, stamps, and mail them out. I realize that with the economy the way it is, some cannot afford gifts. But, to not come or gift me for my shower, and then expect me to open up and give and give and give to them 2 years later, just because things just happened... not cool.

I realize some may think I'm a little harsh, but this has been eating at me for a while now. Why is it that a few of us still abide by etiquette, while the rest throw it out the door, and spit on it? It is not like finding out what the proper etiquette, even the relaxed version of etiquette is now- GOOGLE it. You can find it- I promise. I guess in all reality, people do not care today. I would like to think that since people go on about trying to be closer together, especially with how the economy is, that 2 simple things could stay in place. A simple Please will you come to my event, and Thank You for coming, and for the very nice gift. People spend a lot of time and money just to get that gift.. why is it so hard to take the time to say Thank You?