About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

If You Don't Know Me By Now.....

Today, I said some things on social media I've been holding in. I know I've posted about it all on here- goes to show how much people listen to what I have to say- and I am okay with that. The people that know me best- the three girls I am proud to call my best friends all live in Illinois. LONG way away from me here. It doesn't mean I don't have any other friends though. But I think everyone can agree I am a bit outspoken at times. I try to be honest with everyone, and I don't like things sugar coated, or fluffy. The next person that tells me they ALMOST bought a plane ticket to come see me, but couldn't find the time to write me or call me instead, I'm going to cut. Seriously, why would you out of the blue come to my front door without telling me first? It would be a grand surprise, but if it was to be here for me when I needed it, say like a month ago, and you could not fly to me, or was not going to fly to me, couldn't you just send me a little message, call me, or text me somehow and tell me you are at least thinking about me?
The things about me you probably already know: I'm outspoken at times, and I deal with stuff the best I can by myself. I deal with stuff by myself not because it's easier, but mainly because no one is here to help me. I'm not good at asking for help at all- I can't cry to Allen wanting help... he can't just beam here and fix what needs fixing, but if he HAD to if it was really important, he would. My D&C I had done first of June, he would have come, but I didn't want him to lose time at work- he's in the middle of a big promotion, and I have to be able to take care of stuff at home for him. I did it all for me and for him. I did call for help at least that time- had a friend here take care of Hayleigh and Reid for me while I was getting the procedure done, and to drive me to and from the appointment. That was really such a life savor.

If you are one of my friends, or just someone who actually reads my blog out of the 20-30 people who do, you pretty much get the picture, and get most of what is going on here. I don't hide much, you get me at 100% or nothing.

I'll go ahead and put out there that I am hoping for baby #3 to come along. We are putting forth effort, so I don't want to ever hear if it happens again about "Oh, wow, 3 you'll have your hands full" or " Wow guess you know how that works now". IT's not funny and YES I would like to think we know how this all works, and better than most do after our extensive learning we went though 5 years ago with the whole infertility card.

I've also found that maybe I need to get some happy pills to help take some of the edge off- but of course you cannot take them while pregnant. Let me just say that I have not had any of these happy pills to this day. And now I know how every other mother out there keeps their calm and happy faces, while my hair is doing a fuzz bing into the air with smoke rolling out of my nose and ears. I might actually have to look into these someday, but I've made it this far without going bat shit crazy happy pill free. Be amazed....lol.

This has turned into a bit of a rant - 2nd one of the day. I just do not understand why people are shocked or surprised about something I've said. I'm pretty straight forward. I'm a talker- I talk through my stuff. I will always have a ear to listen- thanks to the 3 gals back in Illinois, and God forbid my husband at least. I usually do not bore him with social media unless we have absolutely nothing to talk about since we talk about everything already.

Anyway, I'm tough for a reason, and I guess I expect the women around me to be tough too since I don't like holding someone's hand while crying over coffee.. We will be out doing something productive while mourning at the same time. The Band Perry's song, Chainsaw, would be mine had I ever had a boyfriend besides Allen, or maybe some Miranda Lambert songs...  I love hard, I pray hard, I work hard, play hard..and I just don't do easy. Plain and simple.