About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Wish Lists, Hopes, and Dreaming of Labor and Delivery

St Mary's Hospital - Grand Junction, CO
This is one view of the hospital where we will hopefully- if everything goes as planned, have our baby. We drive by it almost every day that Allen is home- and  you can't miss it looking across the town ( It's the tallest building in the town). Every time we drive by it, I sit there, staring at it, wondering what it will be like in a few months to actually be in there having a baby. Gives me goosebumps! Often when I start daydreaming about it, I am picturing an easy labor and delivery, followed by Hayleigh coming into the room before everyone else to meet her new baby brother or sister, smiling from ear to ear. I start tearing up over this and wake back up to reality. I know from what happened last week at the doctor's office, Hayleigh will not be smiling, she will most likely be scared of what all is going on, and start crying. And, I realize I will probably have another hard labor- since I have a 30% - 50% chance of developing preeclampsia once again, so bring on the pitocin again! Yay Raw! I just hope that the baby is healthy, we can all go home together, Allen is there, and nothing crazy happens.

 It really does scare me to think that not very much longer- quicker than I think anyway, we will be checking into that place, and I am just hoping that after having labored and delivered one baby before, that I am better prepared this time around. I have been doing my prenatal pregnancy yoga- not very much, but trying to. Kind of hard with Hayleigh yelling no, wanting Mickey back on- so after she goes to bed, I try to do it, but most of the time, I'm heading to bed myself. 

I think I have different views of what I want to happen this time around. I know that if I have another long labor with pitocin, I will be getting another epidural if I need it- I don't care if you think you are super woman, going without drugs for 19 hours is crazy to lie there miserable for hours, wearing yourself out, making it harder to push when it is time. If I would have had a short labor- under 10 hours, I think I could have made it the last time. Pitocin is a mean and nasty drug- I despise it- but I know in all reality, I will be saying hello to it again. Really the only person I really want in the room this time is Allen. I want this time around to be more, I don't know, me relying on him to help me through it. I just want him more involved this time around. Besides, he got me into this mess, he's gonna help me get out of it. lol. I just worry about what Hayleigh's going to be doing the whole time I am in there laboring, who will be taking care of her- because I honestly do not trust very many people with her- or just driving her in general. Makes me a nervous wreck when I see how people drive when I'm in the car with them, wondering how they would drive with just Hayleigh in there- she is very distracting, and some people do not need any more distractions because of their driving abilities. Also, operating her car seat correctly... 3/4 people do not correctly install or secure babies/children in their seats correctly. I am scared to death that someone else will get into an accident, and Hayleigh will be the only one hurt. I just feel like if I am there with her, I would have done everything I feel is right on getting her into her seat, since I know how to use her seat, have had lots of practice, and feel like I know how to operate it correctly. So, I guess if I am not comfortable with anyone driving Hayleigh to and from the hospital for us- here especially, then I guess, Allen will be making a trip home to pick her up and take her back. I know it will be hard on her right after the baby is born, with Allen staying the night with me in the hospital- we may have to change our plans on that one. No mommy or daddy home with her- I'm sure she will be very confused. I know everything will be fine- and Hayleigh will be okay a few days away from us, or just me. 

The only other thing on my wish list this time around, is that we get to come home with the baby, and at night, it is just Allen, Hayleigh, me, and the baby here. Just for the first night. I don't know what it is about the first night home- your hormones are high, you have been cooped up in the hospital with people constantly coming in the room. I think it is just the need to finally relax with your baby/family by yourselves that break you just need from everyone, knowing it is just you and the baby- no nurses checking in, taking the baby, it is all you. Because, let's face it, no one ever truly sleeps in a hospital... well, at least I didn't last time, and I think after all of the excitement, and people in and out of my room, I was completely ready to just be alone at home. To me there is nothing more relaxing than being in your home by yourself, being able to walk around the house how ever you would like- naked, shirt & underwear, bra & underwear... you get the idea. If I want to go into the living room to let Allen sleep, and breastfeed the baby in my bra and underwear, I would like to at least not have to worry about giving anyone a show, or disturbing anyone else in the middle of the night. I just want a relaxing peaceful experience is all. Everyone can come and visit all they want through the day, and I would greatly appreciate all of the help anyone would offer, but I want the nights to be ours. There are plenty of motels around in the area for everyone to have their own room and bed- we don't have a lot of room here at all, and once the baby makes it here, we have no spare room. I don't want people to have to sleep in the living room, and then try to find a place for their things through the day while we get visitors. 

Another thing I will keep in mind... I will not over do it this time after the baby comes. I will not be outside mowing the yard, or trying to do everything. I will accept people's offers for help, and let them do what they offered to do, no matter if it is the way I do it or not. Yes, I'm that kind of a freak- folding towels, sweeping, moping, etc....  I have to worry about feeding the baby first and foremost, and will put my focus that I have to share with Hayleigh, to breastfeeding this time around. I want to be a milk cow this time- being able to pump to my heart's content- not struggle to get 4 ounces. My boobs have gotten huge this time- and they had better have for a reason- to provide lots and lots of milk. I have to remember to drink plenty of water- I will be forcing myself to keep drinking it- I hate drinking water, but it is a must to produce milk. I'm even bringing my pump I bought after Hayleigh was 8wks old to the hospital with me- it is a medela pump in style- double pump. I even got adapters to work with me pumping into our Tommee Tippee bottles so I can store, or feed with the bottles. I realize this time around, if I'm pumping to feed the baby over the baby not feeding off of me directly, it is just fine. Breast milk is free, and better than formula, and helps your body bounce back to pre-pregnancy too. I need to remember to order replacement kit for it as well too. But great pump!! I'm going to give this the best try I can from day one- I will try pumping after I attempt to breast feed the baby- I want lots and lots of milk, and this is one way I know that could help. - makes me want to go and drag out all of the baby gear right now! 

Well, I'm going to end it on that note- I'm heading out to the garage to reorganize the boxes and get the baby gear in the house to go through it. I love doing that- getting out the stuff for the new baby, especially knowing we get to use it all soon too! 

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