About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Blog Archive

Thursday, June 14, 2012

2009 and the start of our Journey

I'm up late once again. I just happened to be reading my blogs back to almost 3 years ago, and on facebook, looking back to 2009 as well. In July 2009, if you haven't went back and read my past blogs from then, was the start of our journey of going through treatment options and diagnosis for infertility. We had originally started in 2007, at a local clinic that promised this and that, but all we really got done was a semen analysis. They wanted $1200 to check my tubes, and would not bill my insurance at all for the procedure, even though my insurance covered diagnosis, and treatment- but not procedures on getting pregnant. I was prescribed clomid- a drug that makes you ovulate, and that was it- nothing else become of it, but we knew for sure we had a problem...errr I was the problem. I did not respond to the 2 rounds of clomid, and Allen clearly was not the problem. So, back to 2009.. we finally decided to bite the bullet and go and get something done. So, with a referral of a specialist in a town almost 2 hours away, on a June afternoon day, I made my first appointment to go and talk to a doctor a few weeks from then, July 9th- just me and my friend to come along for the ride. This doctor was very straight forward, and ready to get something done. I ended up getting scheduled for a procedure to check my tubes - usually the first thing they check when dealing with infertility, 2 weeks from that July day. So, we went back- I was thoroughly convinced that my tubes were blocked, and we would not be able to afford IVF. So, I got right in- only had to pay $100 of what my insurance would not cover of the $1200. I remember like it was yesterday, going in, laying on that table, them shoving all kinds of things up me, and then bringing out a monitor with an xray on it, watching the ink they injected into my tubes run all the way down.. They were not blocked!! Talk about a total relief! Then, it hit me... what exactly was wrong then??? So, back to Dr. Gentry I went, for another consultation appointment. I left that appointment with another appointment to call as soon as I was on day 1 of my cycle, and to go back in on day #4- no matter what day that happened to land on. We were to try IUI first with some more heavy duty drugs, since it was clear I did not respond to the clomid 2 years prior.  I went back, to my next appointment, and ended up leaving with a chart, prescription for Femera & Follistim, HC trigger shot, and a tutorial on how to use my injection pen. I then had to make yet another appointment to go back a week later, so they could check my follicles in my ovaries. ( follicles are what your ovaries make, that can possibly contain an egg) So, after my special delivery of over nighted drugs, I started the injections, and pill popping, returning to get an ultrasound done of my ovaries. There were 5 that time. The nurse I hated wanted me to not go through with the IUI. Allen was with me the whole time, I was mad, and upset someone was trying to tell me what to do- at that time I didn't care how many babies we would have, I just wanted a baby. I was also given orders to have someone give me an hcg trigger shot in my butt that night at exactly 9pm, and to return on Monday morning- 48 hours later. I won't even go into what else was prescribed for that night- let's just say that when someone tells you, that you have to do this, it is soo much less appealing, and more of just get it over with. Well, that night we went to a late night Cardinals game, and by the time we got back home it was almost 2am, and we were not at all wanting to do what else we had to do. So, skip to Monday morning, we went in, Allen did his thing, we drove around the hour we had to wait, went back, they had us show ID, sign wavers, show our number card, and look through the microscope of a sample of what Allen had left. Kind of weird looking at that. Anyway, to the wonderful room with the table and stirrups we went. I was shown everything they would use- looked like stuff for a pap test, and a dip stick for a car. After 10 minutes, it was over, and we had to sit and wait, or I had to lie there and wait 15 minutes, and then we could leave, testing 15 days later. Well, we know what that all resulted in- a big fat NO, and after all of that I was ready to give up. I was thoroughly disgusted- we just paid $1500 for nothing. After all of the work, appointments, and just crap, nothing, and we had to wait a month before we could do it all over again. I was so hurt after all of that, with a positive pregnancy test with a pregnancy that did not stick. Anyway, after thinking we would not do it all over again, we did- was worse than the first round- I was sick the whole time- throwing up after every injection, my hopes were crushed, and I was ready to be done with it all, so we could try another doctor. Well, October, 26th, 2009 marked the first day of our road of being parents. Hayleigh was then on the way, and November 14th, despite my doubts, we saw those two pink lines once again, and this time they were bright!

If you are still with me, you know the rest of the story- twins went to just a single baby- which resulted in Hayleigh, and I would not trade it or change it for anything in this world. Because, if we would have ended up with twins, this baby that we are expecting now would not have been. We would have been done. I don't think I have a point to all of this. I just look back at what all we have been through in the past 3 years, and I am grateful for everything, the good and the bad. I wish more people could experience this, even though some people say they would not wish infertility on their worst enemy. I would. I would wish it upon everyone to a degree. I think that what we have been though makes us more grateful for what we have, and to me, a lot of people do not fully realize just what they have. I know, I know, I'm preaching on about this again, and I am sorry. Infertility is just something that has never left me completely. It is part of who I am, and will always be. I am grateful to not still be back where we were, hoping for a baby, a family of our own.

Anyway, tonight, like always, I am looking back to 2009, grateful to where we are now. I wish I could go back to me then, and tell me it would all work out. Tell myself we would be expecting another baby, and be a soon to be family of four at the end of this year- 3 years later.. not to sit crying and mad at the world and everyone in it. I'm just glad it all worked out, and I am not a bitter person about infertility anymore. Still blows my mind on how far we've come.

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