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About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Taboo

This topic has been brewing with me for a good while now. One of my friends that has been going through infertility treatment has been discussing this with me for about 2 months now. What is it? The way people treat you, when you are either undergoing fertility treatment, or when you do finally get pregnant from undergoing fertility treatment. The topic was brought up one day in an email. My friend, was experiencing what I had already experienced with some of my friends. One of her close friends had quit talking to her, when she told her friend that she has having a hard time and she did not want to talk about it. After her explaining how different some of her other friends were acting to her, I told her about all of my experiences with my friends. It is unbelievable how people can act. Things that people do, not inviting you to a get together, because you don't have kids, not coming over, because you don't have kids, not talking to you because you don't have kids. Do these people really think we are soo baby hungry we would snatch their babies? We both could not believe the same reactions from people that we had both experienced. One would think that after finally getting pregnant after years of trying and fertility treatment, people would come around. Some, yes, some, no. There are either the people who snubbed you before when you were trying to get pregnant, that suddenly think now you are in the mommy to be club, you can finally get in. The other is the cheerleaders you had when you were trying to get pregnant, that are suddenly MIA when you do find out you are pregnant. I have had all kinds of comments made to me, that I don't think that the people saying them, really thought about what they were really saying. I had one person tell me that they did not like having me around, because with me being pregnant, it made things harder on them. That person and their spouse cannot agree on a final baby number, the person that made the comment does not want anymore kids, and their spouse does. And, to add injury to insult, we just happen to be having the sex of the baby that spouse wants. I don't know what these people want me to do.. wait until the stork brings her or what? I just hate tip toeing around these people. This is all really hard to understand why people act the way they do. Like we chose to have to deal with all of this? I would love for some of these people to actually have to work to even try to get pregnant. I guess some just don't get how hard this all actually really is. I just wish that people could be there and happy for you when you finally do reach the place you have been reaching for, for a long time.

I do have to say, there are the people out there that actually do get this. Not all of them have went through the same trials, but, they understand how important this is to you. I just want to say how much of a blessing these people are to have around! I don't have to feel guilty about being excited about finally being pregnant and having a baby. I realize that I tend to talk about babies a whole lot more now, but, if you were trying and trying for something that seemed soo out of reach, and you finally reached what you had been dreaming for, wouldn't you be a little excited?

2 comments:

  1. Ashley--I understand you completely. When Dez told me she was pregnant with B,I was so excited, all I could talk about was my first grandchild. Seemed to turn some people off but I didn't care--I was soooo excited and so was she.

    You and Allen have all the right to be excited and you talk about this little girl all you want. I know Mom is excited too---Gramma's are so special.

    Dreams are different for everyone--some people get all excited about getting married and talk about it for 1 year before it happens, some people are happy about buying and decorating their OWN house and obsess about it to everyone when shopping for their decor, and some are extremely excited about their pregnancy and get worse when they find out the sex of the child.

    Be happy and don't worry about what others think--I know it will be hard BUT enjoy these last months with the ones that are happy for you and just as excited.

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  2. Kathy- I am glad I am not driving you nuts yet! I can answer yes to being excited about getting married, buying the house, and then getting the baby! I think I get more excited every time there is something new going on! I do know that this last conquest has been quite a battle to get, and now, that we are here, I cannot help but getting even more excited. This is one of those things that I have waited my whole life to experience, and now that we are here, I don't want to take it forgranted. My mom used to say that I should really enjoy high school, because those are the best years of your life.. she was wrong, I would hate to say it. I don't think that things could get any better, but, they do every time, the older I get.

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