Doubts

Well, it seems like everyone is trying to help me not get my hopes up now.. I am okay! Just a bit emotional anymore. I just have a calm sense that this is going to work out somehow. I swear somedays, I "feel" like I'm pregnant... somedays, I think I am losing my mind, making up these "feelings" in my head, and making myself physically have them. Who knows? Right?

I rode with Allen this morning after I got off work to "help" him load pigs. I just stood by the gate on the outside and watched basically. He has gotten very protective of me. It's kind of cute really. If anyone knows me, it is very hard for me to let someone do anything for me. I just feel guilty and lazy. I can do it! Well.. I have backed off this.. I cannot think of just myself anymore, until we find out if we are expecting or not. Everything is still surreal.

On another note, I have been so dang gone hot! I run the air conditioners on full blast, I sweat like a pig when I sleep at night, and, I have the weirdest dreams!

I'm getting ready to lie down now for a nap.. I will get my sleep later on tonight when the sun goes down.. otherwise, I just cannot really REALLY sleep.

Well, baby M, or babies, I hope if you are in there, you are okay, and are growing and getting stronger everyday. Soon you will no longer be a secret... you will never know how much we love you!