About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The good, the bad, and the ugly

I know its been a little stretch again, but I'm still here, we are still here.

The past week and a half has just been on thing after another- everything in this world is making this whole moving thing as hard as possible to achieve, but we still have our heads up. I told Allen yesterday that, and that we will make it through this. What went from an exciting adventure, and a really good chance to change our lives for the better, has gradually become a burden. There is soo much anticipation on the week to come- Allen's last week here at home with us. I moved one of my vacations up, so we could enjoy, or at least try to enjoy us being together before he has to leave- a week from Friday. In the week leading up to Allen leaving, we have to get another vehicle for him- hopefully will be done with that tomorrow, along with help him pack for his trip, and pack his stuff he is leaving behind for the move. I am going to also start packing everything else, starting with the closets after he leaves too.

 It is soo surreal that this coming week will be our last week together in our house. Sad but true, and on the upside, we will be moving to better things, even if we are leaving behind everything we have ever known. What a great thing it is at the same time, this move. We can start over, and change anything in life that we want to. This does not mean that leaving the people behind that have been there for us makes this any easier. I just wish I could pack them up too, in a box, and take them with us. That would make things soo much easier. I have been dreading leaving these people behind, but I am at the same time relieved to be leaving others behind. I really think that some bridges we have with some will be burnt for good. I wish things were different, but I cannot change what or who these people are. Some times you just have to let go, and it is for the best. I have no regrets, I just hope that they do not either.   For some people, if we do not want to see them again, we don't have to...plain and simple... better than small town life here, where you will still bump into them every now and then. This all does not mean for one minute that I do not miss them. I just miss the good memories we have shared over the years.

The only other thing I hate about the move is people avoiding us. Really? Some have been doing it for a few months already, but, some have just about jumped ship. It really does hurt when some of the people you love the most and that are there for you, just go MIA. I know it is because we are leaving, it is absolute that we are leaving, and we are not changing our minds about it, and they have finally realized this. Some days, I feel alone because of this. I thought that after we moved, I would be a little lonely, but it has already begun to hit some days. After all of this started happening, I had to just stand back and take a breath. I am just soo grateful that we have family that no matter what happens, they are here for us, whether or not they want us to go, they are here and are trying to help even if they are hurting.

With everything going on, and going though one of the toughest parts of my life at the same time, I've been trying to plan all that I can. We still have no date set yet on when Hayleigh and I will move out to Montana, just a general idea of a month and a half to two months time. It really just all depends on how everything goes for Allen out there, and how easy it is for us to find a place to move into too. We were trying not to move until after Hayleigh's birthday, but I think that would be too hard on Allen to wait that long now- him out there by himself for four months, instead of two and a half to three, as originally planned. Anyway, yesterday, my mom offered to help plan part of Hayleigh's birthday party this year, since we will be having it at her house anyway. What a relief that was! Just thinking about getting everything together for that makes me cringe. At least we have the theme, the place, and a general idea of what everything will be agreed upon now. Since we will probably be already moved by then, we will have to plan on flying back to celebrate Hayleigh's birthday- even if we are a week off. When we will be back will depend on the week Allen has off with work, since he gets a whole week off a month with pay.

Anyway, you get the jest of things. Planning, and waiting, and hoping it will all work out without losing our minds.

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