About Me

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Western North Dakota , United States
My husband, Allen, and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating Sep.99'- I kind of followed Allen home one day, and never did leave, is Allen's story. November 02' we were engaged, and on November 22,2003 - we were married. Having been married for 6 years in 2009, marked the 5th year we had been trying to start our family. With the referral of a Fertility Specialist from a friend, our IUI attempts ended up being a complete success despite my doubts. We welcomed our sweet little girl, Hayleigh into the world on June 30,2010 at 6:28am after 37wks and 1 day of gestation. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 20 in long. We found out that we were Baby #2 on April Fool's Day- a complete surprise! Reid Allen was born 11/13/12 3:24am 9lbs 8.2oz 21", after 38wks 5 days. Our 3rd baby, Eva Jane, was born on April 19, 2015 after suffering a pregnancy loss June of 2014. We are currently anxiously awaiting baby #4 due 2 days before Eva's birthday, so we are having Irish Twins! Our family is so blessed and happy to be growing!

Friday, April 19, 2013

Time is Love

This song is our song-I listen to it quite a bit when Allen is out on his 2 wk hitch. 

Earlier this week, I finally posted on facebook about us moving back to Colorado. I realize that some people will not understand why, no matter how many times I tell them we are leaving, and the reasons for us moving.  While I could make a big long list of reasons why we are leaving, and I even said I could upon request, I'm not going to. What's important to us is what's best for our family- not what everyone else wants, or what is convenient for everyone else.

Even though I am not making a list of the pros and cons- you probably have noticed me popping off things that annoy me with this area, I can tell you the 2 big deciding factors. Time and Money for our family. Time- with living here in Southern Illinois, Allen loses an additional day with us. Instead of getting 6 days at home with us, he only gets 5. He spends an extra day traveling- flying from airport to airport, and it costs us a lot of money no matter how you slice it all up. I realize that we could save money by having Allen fly into Williston, instead of Minot, and if we used the airlines that only fly into Williston. BUT... I am sorry but those airlines that fly into Williston have crappy equipment, and we are not willing to send Allen on a bubble gum operation. You can pick how you want to fly, and trust your life with- but we will stick with what we've been doing- that only costs $100 more per trip. I could get into the other travel details but you are not going to save a great deal of money in the long run. It still costs money to go to either major airport around us- 2 1/2 hours each way, and having to either drag the kids, or find someone to watch is a hassle as well. Anyway, time... we don't get a lot with him, and that is what is important to us with his job. We do a good job dealing with him being gone, and just do not want to give up any more than we have to.

Believe it or not it costs us more to live in Illinois than it does in Colorado- especially in a bigger city like Grand Junction. The grocery stores compete, gas/diesel is cheaper, and there is more to do there. Mainly we love it out there. We feel like it fits us quite well. I know I can hear a few people muttering right now, well move to Indy or St. Louis to be closer- we don't want to live there. St. Louis is not very safe, and is expensive. Indy is in Indiana, and that just cuts that right out, plus it is even farther away from Allen at work. North Dakota is not an option- it is not safe, the weather is horrible, and it is very expensive to live there due to the shortage in housing. If you could live anywhere in this country, where would you pick? I guarantee it would not be this area. We have the chance to pick that, and we choose Colorado. I'm sorry if some of you are rolling your eyes, or just plain disgruntled about this, but this is our decision.

When we toyed with the idea of moving back to Illinois, I liked the idea of getting all kinds of "help" from everyone. One person who mainly went on and on about "help" was always no where to be found. I have received some help, but that's about it. The help I've gotten with the kids has been great- but nothing more than what I had out in Colorado. Who wants to come help in the middle of the day when every one's at work, or in the middle of the night- which is usually when I could use it. Everyone has their own lives, and things going on. AND, everyone is afraid to take on both kids at once. I realize they are both a handful- a 2 year old and a 5 month old. But, I can handle them both by myself, and have done it just fine. That doesn't mean that we don't have a few stressful nights, but we make it through.

There are lots of other things that have influenced out decision of why we are moving that I don't feel like I need to justify to everyone out there, when one of the few people we went over this with didn't even bat an eye, and still thought no matter what it cost us, we were staying here. Allen said it best after everything was laid on the table, and the decision was clear to what we need to do. He said that he did not take his job to come back here with nothing to do, not even being able to do anything even if we wanted to, spending all of his time away from us. We moved for a reason- to better our lives for our family- for the kids. I guess some just cannot see why this is better- being able to do things with the kids, take them places, have them in better schools, more opportunities, etc. To some, it is all about convenience - having the kids close so they can see them when ever they want that is convenient for them. What's funny is just how much some of these people have taken the time to actually spend time with the kids. I really did not want to say anything about us leaving. To me, if you didn't want to take the time to come see them that often- that was your decision. If you knew you had a time crunch, you would be seeing the kids only because you had to. Kind of like people in nursing homes- family only comes around when they get a call that the person is not doing well- then they all show up like they've been there solid the whole time. That is not right to me. Maybe you don't agree with me- that's fine. But, when you sit on a couch all afternoon when we are celebrating Easter on your phone, and computer, not even spending time with Hayleigh or Reid until I say we have to leave a few hours later so we can go do Easter at another family's house, that is sickening to me. Don't even want to hold or spend time with Reid, or play with Hayleigh- but when you do make for damn sure you are capturing it all on video and taking pictures of it all for the 5 minutes you took away from that computer or phone.

What this has all shown me is just who really cares to see us. Who has taken the time without being told that they need to, or been given a time limit, and actually wanted to spend the time out of their day with us. What I find most amusing in all of this is that the people who have taken the time to spend it with us are for us leaving- even though it is not easy, and they will miss us and the kids. The people that have not taken the time, are the ones throwing the biggest stink fits now, and no matter what we say about leaving, they will not see why this decision is best for our family.

I know people will think this is all crazy, but until you have been in our shoes, and walked a day or two in them, please keep your comments, or judgments to yourself.

Everyone is welcome to come and visit us when ever they would like- our door is always open. We are planning our future visits back here right now, and a few other trips we would like to make this year as well. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up in November, so we are hoping to get to go to Vegas to get remarried, sometime this fall. We will be celebrating Hayleigh's 3rd Birthday a month early, so we can get settled in after we move.

I just want everyone to know what Allen and I do is for Hayleigh and Reid first. The decisions we have to make, might not always be easy, but we do it all as a family first. What 10 years of marriage has taught me is that you have to put your partner and your kids first-if you don't- your house will fail. So, if we are happier, and better off somewhere away from our families, it is something we need to do.


  1. I have, and still do, deal with this exact same issue. Granted, we are only 3 1/2 hours away, but it might as well be the moon to some people.

    You are absolutely right -- you have to put your spouse and your children first -- and do what is best for them, no matter what everyone else seems to think. Hang in there!

    1. Thanks Jamie!~ I feel like I'm talking in spanglish to some people somedays~