Wordless Wednesday... WHOA!!!!

Guess who will be a month old already on Friday???!!!! I know it doesn't seem possible she will be a month old already!

Random thoughts and happenings

I haven't had anything much to report lately. Hayleigh, Allen, and I have been very busy. Hayleigh is growing like a weed of course. She gets weighed at the doctor on Thursday to make sure her weight keeps going up. I have my postpartum checkup tomorrow, which I am excited to find out how much I have lost again on weight. Things have been pretty quite around the house. Hayleigh's Godfather, Garrett, stopped by with his mom, Tonya, my cousin to meet Hayleigh for the first time today. It was really great seeing him hold Hayleigh- she really does make everyone smile and puts a sparkle in their eyes. I am sure she enjoyed the visit as well, she stayed bright eyed and bushy tailed for them.. did not fuss until after they left for her lunch and nap.
We did happen to find a rocking chair for Hayleigh. We picked it up at a local store, and I have to say it really does look like Crackle Barrel's rocking chair- it was just unfinished. We had my dad paint it for Hayleigh - he sprayed it high gloss white, to match the nursery. Time is passing soo fast now. Hayleigh will be a whole month old already on Friday- the same day my Grandpa turns 80 years old. We have come to find out that Hayleigh is allergic to Huggies diapers. I am not too thrilled about this, since Huggies is my favorite, and I really do not care for Pampers- they get droopy and mushy- not like the Huggies. Allen's mom has been here visiting Hayleigh for the last week and a half, and we will hate to see her leave. I know this blog has been totally random, but, I am trying to get this done before Hayleigh gets up from her nap, and these are just the few things that I can think to write about really quickly. I'll have another post with pictures up on Thursday when I can get a chance to get them uploaded.

Hayleigh turned 3wks, and we cried......

I have been soo busy to say the least. Today, Hayleigh is now 3wks old, and Monday was my due date. Monday was soo sad for me. Monday, my intended due date, was the last little thing that marked Hayleigh being early. I cannot explain it, and I know it sounds silly, but, I really do miss being pregnant. It is not because I am getting less sleep, or anything like that. Getting pregnant took us all of the 5 years, and carrying Hayleigh went by too fast for me. I really did love being pregnant, and can now see why people have soo many kids. Being pregnant gives you a real "womanly" sense. I felt soo feminine and thought that the curves I had from the baby bump were just soo beautiful. I miss feeling Hayleigh kick me, and I miss singing going down the highway to the radio, and rubbing my belly, thinking of Hayleigh. Now, I can look at her in the mirror when it is just the two of us in the car, but, I did catch myself to start to rub my belly the other day, singing along with the radio, until I realized that there was no longer a "bump" there, and Hayleigh was sitting in the back in her pumpkin seat. So, now, I just sing for her. I know I cannot wait to get pregnant again someday- hopefully not until Hayleigh is 1 year old. Both Allen & I really want to make our time with Hayleigh special, and just enjoy having us three as a family. I have had a lot of people laugh at me over this, already wanting more. I guess it is just wanting to know if we have to go through it all again. I think it would be soo nice not having to plan everything for once.
The last few weeks really have flown by. I cannot believe that Hayleigh is already almost one whole month old now. Her doctor appointments have went by just fine. We had a thrush scare, and she has finally gained all of her weight she had lost back- she lost a full pound within a few days of being born. I have now lost 30lbs- which is fantastic! I haven't been trying to lose any weight, but, I guess with breast feeding, it falls off of you, no matter what you eat. I feel great now, and have almost gotten back to everything I was doing pre pregnancy.

 Motherhood is everything I hoped it would be. I am sure that Allen can say the same about becoming a father too. I know one of the best things that has come from having Hayleigh... I am now really close to my own parents, and I have a greater love for my mom. I just hope that Hayleigh and I can share that one day too.

Part III Hayleigh Arrival and Jaundice... my little glow worm

On Saturday morning, we went up to the hospital, and took Hayleigh back to OB. I had to strip her down, so they could get her weight and then scan her forehead with the billie rubeon test. She ended up going up to 17.3- and the pediatrician wanted to see her again on Sunday morning. he made us aware that breastfeeding would prolong the jaundice and it would not go down as easily. So, Saturday, Allen went and shot sporting clays with his grandpa, and I had my sister come over with her boyfriend from out of town to visit Hayleigh for the first time. I had Hayleigh out in the sun for about 40 minutes under the tree out in our back yard to try to help with the jaundice. Magen  and her boyfriend, Brad really enjoyed visiting and dressing up Hayleigh. My mom later brought by supper. She brought green beans with sausage, new potatoes,homemade angel food cake, and macaroni and cheese- I had whined that they were finally serving macaroni and cheese the day I left the hospital. I have to say that every time my mom came out, I just wanted her to stay. I have never felt soo clingy to my mother in all of my life. It really is funny how we cling to our moms when we are little, then try to get away from them as we are teenagers, and then have babies, and go back to being our mom's babies again. Magen had to leave, and I spent the rest of the evening trying to get Hayleigh to eat. She slept soo good that night too! 5 1/2 hrs.

Sunday.. 4th of July. We had to go to the hospital.. yet again. This time, they drew blood from Hayleigh's heel. The guy that did it, was nervous, especially with Allen standing over him, watching our little girl. We went back to OB, her jaundice went up to 18.7... and she lost a whole pound, now down to 6lbs 14 oz. The pediatrician wanted to admit Hayleigh to the hospital.. Mom asked how long the average stay was. The Ped didn't want to say, but, finally told us 2-3 days. I was in shock. Allen and my mom were there with me, while I was trying to make sense of it all. We asked if there was anything we could try for the day. After twisting his arm a bit, we got to go home and do light therapy for the day, and had to come back that evening to test her jaundice again. I couldn't leave my baby at the hospital now! So, Allen had to talk to the people that were bringing the light out to our house, while I sat and rocked Hayleigh, about to melt down into tears. Mom asked me if I knew what the Ped had been saying, that he wanted to admit Hayleigh. I told her I did, but, was waiting for him to give us another option. Allen got back from talking to the nurses at the desk and the people bringing the light out to us. The plan was to give Hayleigh nothing but formula, I would pump, and she would stay under the light unless she was being fed every 2 hrs or changed. The nurses were nice enough to send us some extra formula home with us, and we sent Allen's dad and step mom into Walmart to pick me up a breast pump and some more formula, so we could get home and start tending to Hayleigh.

The people showed up set up the light machine, and we got Hayleigh right on it. It strapped around her belly with her in her diaper and she just slept with it running.

 Hayleigh - my "little glow worm" all hooked up to the light therapy

My dad was one of the first visitors with my step  mom and step sister to visit. It was really bittersweet. No one could hold Hayleigh. We just sat there and stared at her all hooked up. I finally offered to have everyone look at the nursery- since no one had seen the finished product. Dad made a quick circle around and decided to leave the room. My step mom said he had ice cream, and had become lactose intolerant. I peeked around the corner to see if Dad had went to the bathroom.. he stood over Hayleigh smiling at her in the living room. Seeing this made me want to cry. I told them before they left Dad could feed Hayleigh since she was on formula then. He got all excited, until the time came. He said he would just watch... as you can see below, I made him feed her. He was very nervous, and kept asking if he would drown her. I told him he was fine, and, so was Hayleigh. 

 Hayleigh's light therapy machine

So, after everyone left, I finally got to pump. My milk had been coming in, my boobs felt like softballs that someone had been smacking with a ball bat. I ended up pumping 6 oz out. Just after I got done pumping, we took Hayleigh in to the hospital again, got her foot pricked again, and sent to the OB to wait for the results. After about an hour, the results were in... 15.3!!! We were instructed to come back in the morning again, and if the numbers were down again, we were in the clear. We ended up celebrating, since Allen had a bad feeling before we got the results. We took Hayleigh to Walmart, and got sparklers, since we wouldn't be able to go to the fireworks that night. We kept that poor girl on the lights all night. I felt soo relieved. We went back to the hospital Monday morning, and back to lab and OB, her jaundice was down again to 14.5. The Ped said to resume breastfeeding her, and discontinue the light therapy, but to come back in one more time on Tuesday morning just to check with the scan this time. Long story short, we had Hayleigh's 1 wk appt on Tuesday, jaundice went down to 13.2, she was perfectly fine, and to go back on Thursday for a follow up scan, that ended up being 12.8. It was a very tough week for both Allen and I, especially Hayleigh's poor feet! But, we made it through it all.

Back to Part II of Hayleigh's arrival.

Okay... I am sure I left off on day one of Hayleigh being here. Our hospital stay was great. The first night, I requested to have Hayleigh every few hours for nursing her, and, just anytime she was fussy, for her to be brought into my room. I know I should have taken advantage of the rest now while I could, but, I felt guilty sending Hayleigh out there, when she was not asleep. I had waited forever to get her, why send her away now? So, Allen stayed on the couch that turned into a bed, and I had Hayleigh every two hours. Kim, the nurse I had had while in labor was working that night as well, kind of smirked every time she brought me Hayleigh and woke me up. I didn't mind, and I think I had to be the happiest person going on very little sleep, no complaints from me! At the 4:30am feeding, I sat there thinking of just where I had been the night before, just starting to push, when 6:30 rolled around, I sat there and cried, my little girl was 1 day old already! I just sat there trying to take in everything that had happened in the last 24- 48 hrs. How this all started Tuesday morning. I even wanted to go back and relive it all again- can anyone else say they actually wanted to do this? I still would to this day. Just to feel one last kick from Hayleigh, and sit there and enjoy it, really enjoy it. I say this because I was soo out of it to think like this when Hayleigh was coming.

Allen with Hayleigh - Hayleigh 2hrs old

Anyway, day two. Day two was great! I had my street clothes on- capris, and a pink shirt. I straightened up my room in between feedings. I could barely nap at all. I showered, and then put makeup on and did my hair. I was all ready to go home! But, I could not. Hayleigh and I had to stay 48hrs after she was born because I had tested positive for the Strep B Bacterial- which is very common from what I had found out. Allen went home and straightened up the house and mowed with my mom's help. We had visitors that day in and out. Later that night we had our "stork dinner", which turned out to be a complete joke. Allen's dad and his step mom, finally made it from California to see Hayleigh, right about the same time my dad was leaving with my step mom. Allen ended up leading his dad into the room, and I gave him Hayleigh. I still cannot get over the way Hayleigh makes people react. Allen's dad ended up going back out to his truck, and let Allen's step mom come in to see Hayleigh- they drove all the way here, and had their two little dogs out there. They ended up going out to our house and got settled in before returning back into town to visit once again. Allen ended up going out to eat with them, while I sat and cuddled with Hayleigh. We had one rude nurse that kept taking Hayleigh away in the middle of her feedings to see the pediatrician, which really did not make me too happy. It was hard sitting in my room across from the nursery listening to my baby cry and cry. What made this the hardest was that the nurse would not bring her back to me, and would not swaddle Hayleigh either. I had a very sweet nurse that would bring her back every time she saw Hayleigh in there, and would re swaddle  her for me. Hayleigh ended up failing her hearing test in one ear that day, but, passed it the next day, and she started to develop a higher jaundice level. It started out at 13 on Thursday. Thursday night was to be our last night at the hospital, so, Allen went ahead and slept at the house after spending both Tuesday and Wednesday nights there. It was harder not having anyone in the room just for comfort with me, besides Hayleigh. We made it through the night with flying colors though. Friday morning, Hayleigh's pediatrician came in and informed me that Hayleigh's Jaundice was now up over 15, and to bring her in Saturday morning for a billie check. I thought for a while they were wanting to keep Hayleigh for a day, and let me go home, or keep us both. When I told Allen this, I could hear it in his voice, he missed us and was scared. We ended up getting discharged at 10 am, and Allen and his dad were there to take us home. I ended up just leaving Hayleigh in her hospital sweater and blanket to bring her home- she was asleep, and I wanted to get home. We got home, and I didn't know what to do. It was soo weird being gone since Tuesday morning, until then. I changed Hayleigh's diaper, and put her in a onesie, and then laid on the couch since my feet were still really swollen. It hit me like a ton of bricks then... baby blues. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be alone with just Allen and Hayleigh, I wanted my Mom. I got immediately scared the Hayleigh could die. I didn't say a word to anyone until that night when Allen and I were lying there in bed talking. Hayleigh had slept most of the day that day- exhausted from visiting with my mom, and everyone else. I didn't even think that her jaundice was a problem.

Hayleigh and my mom on our first afternoon home.