Happy New Year!

Well, 2009 was such a great year, despite our setbacks. I know that I thought my world was going to come crashing down a time or two last year, but, I am still here and thriving, as you can see. I think that this year will be even better than 2009 was, with our lives changing in a whole different direction. I have learned to let some things go a little easier than others.. mainly understanding that everything cannot be as perfect as I want it to. I am not as anal on the house work anymore, but the house does manage to stay clean. Allen is helping me out more and more- let me just say that is sooo great! I think for the most part Allen and I have been trying to enjoy our time together - what little 6 months we have left that is.

I cannot believe some days that we have gotten to where we are: house, jobs, married, and a baby on the way now. Sometimes it really scares me how fast life is really going by now. I am trying to savor this pregnancy, since we have waited for 5 years to be here. Some days I really do enjoy being pregnant, others... well, it is a challenge I'll just say. The days I get sick from indigestion make the day much harder on me, while the other days are a breeze.


The JOYS of Pregnancy


I will be 3 months already on Monday! I can't believe how fast this is all going! I am already wearing maternity clothes- not because I have to.. okay my pants were getting really tight, but, they are really really comfy! I don't know why some people wait as long as possible to get into them, but, I would rather be comfy as possible while I have time to relax. Allen and I made our first trip to the maternity clothing store last weekend, and I think that Allen enjoyed it more than I did. I managed to walk out with enough clothes to get me to spring/summer stuff. I had to get a new bra too - I really am wanting to weigh these puppies now after finding out I have went up 2 sizes already! Allen found the joy of nursing bras, probably tmi, but, I had never seen one up close until I was in the changing room, and exclaimed, "look at this!" All he said was "WOW".... I laughed, and he thought it was the best magic trick he had ever seen in his life. Allen and the sales ladies handed me clothes right and left, and after trying on at least 5 different styles of pants, and 10 different bras, we finally left the store happy with my new clothes. I love my new clothes sooo much! I can finally breath now without being afraid of my pants giving out on me! Breathing, well, that is another topic indeed. I cannot believe how out of breath I am all the time now. I sound like a little pug dog chugging up and down our stairs, so I usually just stay upstairs if all possible now. I snore sooo much when I sleep now. Allen has been calling me buzz light year now. Back pain... that is my only other problem for now. I have really bad pains right above my hips and where my pelvis meets my backbone now. I know it is probably just stretching of ligaments, but, I never thought it would hurt like this. The massage cushion Allen's grandma gave me is such a life savor!

Other than those few pains, I am really enjoying all that I can of finally being pregnant! I found out recently that it seems like everyone is jumping on this bandwagon, or has been drinking the same water as me now. I have two cousins on my mom's side of the family expecting too now. One is due a couple of weeks before me, and the other is due the same month as me. I guess I just wanted to be the only one pregnant now, after watching everyone else get their chance. I am still happy for these people, but, after going through what we went through just to get here, I kind of feel cheated, like I played candy land, and we got to the top, just to get sent back to the beginning over and over again. I guess I am just sore about not having it as easy as a fertile myrtle does. Why just me in both sides of my family to go through this? I know life is not fair, but, give me a break at least!

I know 2010 will be a great year, even if happiness is shared. I would rather share happiness to say the least, instead of despair.