Enough

I know...MIA, I know. There has been lots of changes in the past 4 months. Eva can roll over, we moved into a new house, I'm expecting again- yes you just read that right, Allen survived another layoff, and Hayleigh has started Kindergarten. Whew!!! That's a lot of changes.

One of the other changes I've been pretty quiet about and have had lots of time to think over it is a change in our family. I don't know if anyone else out there has ever had to disown part of their family, or their extended family, but that is something new we finally had to do in our household. I think when enough is enough, and you've had all you can take, it just naturally happens.

About once a month I get notified about more mud slinging. It's funny how some people can act like they care so much on social media, but behind closed doors, it's a completely different story. If you know me, and know me well, I'm very protective of our family, and everything in our little circle. If you had someone attacking your family, how would you handle it? It would probably depend on what was happening, and what all was involved right? For the past few months, I've been accused of being a spiteful, hateful, mean mother/wife that wants nothing more than to make others miserable. I've had so many mean and hateful things said about me from people who act like they know me, but are just mere acquaintances.

This all stems from a misuse of social media by a relative. I have one and only one rule for this person. ABSOLUTELY NO Sharing of my personal pictures of the kids on social media for this person. What does this person do every 3 months? Goes on a sharing spree because she wants pictures to appear on her personal profile page, not understanding that those pictures do not stay put there and will move. We would have a talk about not sharing, because this person would play dumb and act like they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about, and swear they would not do it again.... 3 months later, shared pictures.....

The problem I had with this is not that the pictures are on social media. This person friends everyone and their dog- people she doesn't even know. She really reminds me of the essurance commercial with the old lady taping pictures on her living room wall and going on about how easy it is, and not having a clue that's not how things work- you've probably seen it. If not, get on youtube and check it out. Anyway, a couple of years ago a person approached this relative in the hospital and went on and on about my kids. The relative had absolutely no idea who the person was, and how they could see the pictures... come to find out that person had been friended and was seeing pictures that had been shared, thus the sharing restriction was put into place. This whole forgetting and playing dumb has been going on for the last few years. The comments that would be put with the pictures had absolutely nothing to do with the pictures- full of weather reports, time, temps, trips to Walmart, etc... you get the idea.

This past May, the 3 month cycle came to an end and pictures were on a sharing spree yet again. So, instead of fighting this anymore, I decided to just block the relative, and act like my account was closed- end of the problem... or so I thought. WELL another relative decided to jump in and make it all her number one business as well. This person called me nasty names on social media, cussed me, and then proceeded to call my house, my cell, and my husbands cell like a crazed stalker. I went ahead and blocked that person as well- there is no point in arguing with a person who is so narrow minded they are unwilling to negotiate, and try to come to a solution to a problem, instead attacks and blaming and cussing.

We were going to give it all a few weeks to blow over and go from there. That was put on a halt when this person that went crazy made a post on social media that she had done the hardest thing she's ever had to do in her whole entire life and block her son on social media. How can blocking your son on social media be the hardest thing you've ever done???!!!! If you've been following, yes this person that had been attacking our family was indeed my mother in law. sigh... If you're lucky you are gifted with a great mother in law who keeps her nose out of your marriage, doesn't make snide remarks about you or mean jokes about you, she is supportive, and wants what makes her son happy. Not mine. She's hated me from day #1 along with the other person who was restricted from sharing- her adoptive mother, and also my estranged sil. They've tried to get my husband to leave me when we were dating, after my husband proposed, they all made snide remarks and tried to talk us out or rather him out of getting married to me. As you can imagine this has not been an easy deal- loving someone so great, and their family over stepping their bounds. There is a time to cut the cord, and as read during our wedding, the two shall leave their mother and father and become one. I think they both seriously were asleep for that part.

To go back and see where this is all going and to see why the decision we have made was made, I'll give as short of a briefing as I can. For the past 15 years and into our marriage there has been fights, bullying, snide remarks about our fertility, parenting, and everything that should not be said has been said to us. We've turned the other cheek and went on- for the entire time with no apologies made.

We wanted our kids so badly and struggled and waited so long for them. For some reason they fail to see this. My husband's half sister is included in all of this ( the estranged sil). So for the past 12-13 years some of these family members have endured physical and emotional abuse, and one has initiated it to her daughter that just happens to be the same age as Hayleigh. That is sick to me. Every time concern was given from us about both, it got swept under a rug like it was nothing to worry about. Apparently being beaten and abused is not as important as staying with your mother just because that person birthed you. Beating and cussing a 4 month old baby was apparently acceptable- I look at Eva that will be 5 months old this weekend and it makes me shudder and cry to think of calling her an fing *B and spanking her repeatedly. The abuse has went on and on with that child to the point to hand prints were completely left on her poor legs.

 The other family member has been emotionally abused in front of me, and I've heard countless stories about it all the night her husband was arrested for physically assaulting his sister the night Reid was born. This person has a rap sheet of assault and anger issues stemming back to when he shot his own son while missing his ex wife- went to prison over that one. The person who is married to the abusing guy still is and will not leave him probably because of the "church" they are involved with- trying to fix the issues themselves when none are trained licensed professionals. We do not care for him- he gives a bad vibe and with his given record, we really do not want him anywhere around our family.

The child abuser has also neglected her daughter- smoking in a car with her, doesn't give her proper fitting clean clothes, bathes, and a steady home, hopping from couch to couch, letting anyone watch her child while she strips at a local strip club that is shady.  There was a recent report that the little girl had head lice for over 2 whole weeks before it was taken serious enough to take care of it.

With just that stuff alone, we just cannot allow that around our family, especially our kids who we love and protect. I do not understand how a mother that has gone through cycles of abuse her whole adult life from bad relationships would want her kids and grand kids to be involved in another abusive bad relationship. It is her choice to stay- we've tried to help her out of the relationship, but she will not leave. What is just as sickening is her own daughter abusing her daughter. Not surprising from being brought up in a home with abusive relationships I guess.

Anyway, with all of the bullying on social media, posts being made about them being victims and how I am keeping the kids away from them unfairly, we just cannot allow it anymore. These people whine how they miss the kids sooo much, and would do anything for them, but have they once tried calling, or even sending mail or reaching out and trying to make nice to see them? NOPE. Instead, they have been attacking me for the most part on posts with all of their friends and their extended and adopted families jumping in like a pack of dogs smearing me and my husband. Do any of them even know us personally, or even know everything that has been going on? NO. But all are so quick to jump on the band wagon calling me a crazy stupid *B, and going on about my poor husband and the kids, and how my husband needs to grow balls and stand up to me when he made his own decision for himself.

 Would ANYONE in their right mind let people who are bullying, name calling, slandering, and living abusive lives around their family? I can answer that one... a big F* NO! I do not care who you are, but when you start attacking me or my husband or kids, you will NOT be included on anything in our lives. Is that bat shit crazy, or is that just called being a protective parent/wife/husband???? The thing that drives me the most bananas is the restricted social media person trying to guilt my husband into giving in... she's dying, or she just cannot live without seeing the kids, or you should call your mom because she still cares for you..... Yeah, she cares enough about you to attack your wife and you on social media. She cares so much for you that she gave you away when you was only 3 weeks old. SMH... it's all a big mess and this restricted person is chanting in on these bullying posts cheering her on, sharing pictures with her, and going on about prayers being answered. Where I'm from that's called being a two faced joker with a shit stirring stick.

I am at my whit's end with it all right now. We have enough going on with the economy trying to stay alive up here and my husband still have a job, this pregnancy, Hayleigh's school, and we are still not done unpacking into our new house. Last thing I want to do is have my husband who is worried enough about everything else to have this stupid crap to worry about- the restricted person does a good enough job at messaging and calling him while he's a work enough.

 All we want is to be left alone and just everyone move on. BUT... that cannot happen when they keep posting rants on social media attacking me/us going on they would tell us these things to our face, but they won't even attempt anything off of making a pity me post for attention. Bottom line is if you want to be a grandparent or aunt, act like one. Have respect for your son's marriage and for his family. Don't say hateful things, and most of all, do not attack them on social media. How hard is that???

So if you're wondering why I haven't updated the pictures on my blog, or what has been going on, there you go.... wading through shit and trying to get shit done...