10 weeks!!

Well, I haven't been on here in a while... I finally started to get some energy back, so I figured I would get on here and get everyone up to date. Yesterday, I finally made it to 10 weeks. It has been flying by soo fast now! I got released from Evansville last Monday, after hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time with Allen. It is such an amazing thing to hear..your own baby's heartbeat! The heartbeat was 172 beats/min... Mom swears girl.. but, I am feeling deep down like this will be a boy. The baby was dancing around, waving it's arms around as we watched on the monitor. It is funny that sometimes I kind of "forget" about being pregnant. I just think I guess that this is just a phase that will go away sometime soon. I guess I am just still in denial, even though we have known for over 6 weeks now. I wonder how long it will take until it finally sinks in that this is really happening and it is not just a dream.



Baby M 9wks- moving all around, and finally heard the heart beat for the first time!

I had my first regular ob appointment last Friday. I am going to Olney.. I know, not my first choice, but the hospital that was closest that I wanted to go to is now out of network for my insurance, so, I am seeing Sandra Poland, the midwife at RMH. She will work out just fine, I wanted someone that would be there for the WHOLE experience. So, for my first regular OB appointment, they went ahead and did the HIV test, and every other test for everything else, and a pap smear to boot.. I felt like a car getting a tune up... having 5 vials of blood taken felt like getting my oil changed. Everything looks great yet. I expressed my concern with Gestational Diabetes since I have PCOS, and I am at a higher risk of developing it, so I got information on that and had my glucose checked too. I got to leave with lots of booklets and magazines, which I still have not completely went over yet. I think the most interesting part of the appointment was when Sandy was asking about our experience with the fertility clinic in Evansville. She was really interested in what all was involved and how much it all cost.

My last two weeks have consisted of morning sickness, feeling like I was hung over with a headache, and now emotional roller coaster and cravings like no other. Now that the emotions have rolled in, it seems like now that I get upset over everything a little easier, the more ridiculous stuff rolls in.

I really had something big hit me yesterday that just completely made me speechless at first. Now, I guess we will have to wait and see what happens from here, but, I just cannot believe just how incredibly wrong it is. All I will say is that babies are not dogs, you can't just find them another home when you get sick of them, or don't have time for them. The situation is just really against all that I stand for. Having a baby should be something made from love, not just want. There are ways to prevent getting into a situation like this. I just don't understand why anyone could ever want to bring a baby into this world with no stable home, job, relationship, or even health insurance. And, to add injury to insult, wonder why some people think badly of this person, even though their actions are a direct reflection of who they really are. This is just something I really have a hard time swallowing, without seeming like a self absorbed bitch to the people involved with this. I am just a blunt person.. I just don't like dancing around stuff. Soo, we will see what happens I guess. It is all in God's hands.