Beyond Thankful

I don't know whether I am just getting more hormonal or if everyone is just being extra special right now, but I've been wanting to cry for the past two days. Okay, part of it could be that Allen went back to work, BUT, ever since then, everyone has been offering to help get us packed up, has been extra sweet, and I just feel so special right now. It doesn't help that I found this on my facebook when I logged in this morning.... made me cry, as I kept reading it over, and over, and over again.

This is my favorite pic it's the first thing I see when I open my phone those two girls and the one on the way are what get me through this long days out here and that smile on Hayleigh's face makes it all worth it. I love you guys

 — with Ashley Travous McCann.

I realize that I'm hormonal right now, but, I don't get stuff happening like this everyday. My mom has even come back around, is back to "normal" I guess. Nothing has been said about what happened, but that is the way she works. I am just soo blessed to have all of the help and support from everyone. I really do mean that. It makes me cry thinking about leaving all of these people behind- but I know they will all be there for me and for our family no matter how far away we are from them. In tough times, you find out who your friends are, and I am soo lucky to have all of you by my side through this~ I love every one of you! Just saying Thank You will never be good enough, and no amount of money could ever repay you for your support, friendship, or kindness you have shown us. We will miss you all~

14 days and counting....

Today marks 14 days and counting from which I HAVE to have the whole house packed and ready to go. It is funny, I sit here and look around the house and laugh at that.


I'm excited, and scared about moving- 2 weeks is all we have left living in Illinois. That will go by in a blink of an eye. Hayleigh has just been looking at the boxes, trying to get into them to get stuff out. I kind of have them strung out everywhere, since I'm not stacking them up- lifting and moving them anymore than I have to. So, pretty much where I pack them is generally where they are staying until they get moved by someone else.


Today, I went ahead and paid up our rent for May and put the last part of our deposit down, so we only have to worry about renting the moving truck- we already have one reserved, and paying for gas to get out there. Along with that, we now have all of the utilities set up for when we move out there ready to go, Allen helped me with that when he was home this past week.


Other than the whole moving deal going on right now, I think I am finally about done fighting my sinus infection that I've had for the past 3 weeks. I feel great, I can pretty much eat anything I want- except spaghetti sauce, and can sleep pretty good right now.


Allen was home this past week to visit, and it went by entirely way too fast. I had to take him back to St Louis Airport, yesterday afternoon, for him to return back to work. He will work for two weeks, then hopefully come back to help us move. Throughout the week we spent time mainly trying to get everything set up and ready out in Fruita, and just spending time together. We went almost 8 weeks without seeing each other, and I think that is just about the max that I can take away from him. We also got to spend some time with a few of our friends while he was here, and it is just heartbreaking, seeing the sadness in everyone's eyes, even though they all try to hide it with a smile. I'm just relieved that most people "get it". Some have tried making this a burden to us, putting us through a guilt trip. What they do not realize, is that this is just as hard on us, if not harder, than it is for them. Not only are we moving away from where we both grew up with, and all of our friends and family live, but it is pretty much all we have known for the past 29 years. I am trying to get doctors lined up- and fast for when we get out there, because by the time we finally do get out there, I will already be 13 weeks along, and searching for the doctor I want to deliver our baby. Besides the OB doctor, we still have to find a Pediatrician, Dentist, Dermatologist, and a general Family Doctor. That's A LOT! Allen's been trying to get references from his co-workers on doctors to see, but most of the doctors are men, and I am just not very comfortable with a male doctor. I don't know why- maybe it's because I've had all female doctors all of my life, and I am just really comfortable with women more so than men. I'm not stressing myself out over all of this- we still have plenty of time, and I know we will find someone, even if it means going through 10 doctors before finding the right one. I just want this next experience having a baby to be just as good as it was with Hayleigh- everyone calm, collected, and comfortable. I just don't want a bunch of surprises, or things happening to me or us for that matter that result in a labor and delivery that I think back to with bad memories.


For the most part, everything has been going pretty smooth. I have been taking everything easy, and not over doing anything. I don't want this pregnancy to be too good to be true and lose it all.  After all, I am only 10 weeks, and I think I will feel much better in a few weeks, when we get well into that second trimester. As far as this pregnancy has been going- it has been a really easy one- no aches or pains yet in my hips or back, like what I had when I was pregnant with Hayleigh. I have more energy this time too- I think it is due to having to have the energy to take care of Hayleigh. I know I just cannot lay around all of the time- we have to eat a real dinner, lunch, and breakfast EVERYDAY. We have been staying as active as possible- playing,  and going for walks with me pulling Hayleigh in her wagon. As far as food cravings for now, it is FRENCH FRIES. YUMMM! Just saying that makes my mouth water for them! I crave fruit too- but not near as much as I had when I was pregnant with Hayleigh. I really do not want to crave those silly fries, but, try telling your stomach that when fries are anywhere near. Allen thinks that my craving potatoes is really funny- his mom craved them too when she was pregnant with him. During one of our trips through McDonald's this last week, I caught myself growling while eating them, and Allen looking at me like I was a rabid dog ready to bite his arm off if he got anywhere near my precious fries. I am really afraid of what I am going to look like at the end of this pregnancy if I crave nothing but potatoes...I'm already popped out a tad in the front, and blow up like a balloon after eating. At least I can now suck my belly out, and not be too ashamed. This past week, I also busted some maternity clothes out of retirement- mostly to fit my new bust size, since my other shirts look awful with the new size, and I just need a little more belly room too. My favorite clothes have been my yoga pants/leggings paired with a maternity or loose fitting shirt. The comfy look~

me 10wks first thing in the morning- that is why I don't look so chipper yet...

Anyway, I'll post more pictures from this past week up later- I need to get packing and pronto! 

9wks and Comparing Pregnancies

Tomorrow is 9wks for baby #2. While this pregnancy has been easier in some ways as of now, I can truthfully say that when I am pregnant, I am a big ole hot mess of snot the first trimester. Both this pregnancy and when I was pregnant with Hayleigh, I struggled with being congested 24/7 until after the first trimester. At least this time around, I am better prepared! With Hayleigh, I gagged and threw up every night when I would be congested, trying to cough it up. This time, I guess my body has learned how not to throw up, or else my stomach is a little bit more prepared.


I went to the hospital over the weekend with a broken tooth, causing an infection/pain in my jaw, and my congestion had gotten soo bad that I have been having to apply hot compressions daily, just to clear my nose up half way. When I saw green snot, and had the pain start in from my tooth, I knew I could not try to put it off anymore. It was not doing me or the baby any good to be tough. So, I went in, and got checked out. They went ahead and prescribed me a zpack antibiotic- safe for me to take while being pregnant. The doctor said that should take care of my tooth as well, buying me a couple of weeks to get the infection gone before we move, and to give me a chance to find a dentist and an ob as soon as we get moved. 


In the other ways of being better prepared... I am sick of coughing soo hard that it makes me pee my pants! SICK OF IT! I know TMI... Ohh well, get over it I guess. Anyway, I finally went out and got me a pack of depends pads to cure peeing my pants, and picked up some more Sudafed 24hr dose. Sudafed seems to be the only thing I can take besides Benadryl, and works 100% better than Benadryl, without knocking me out. So, other than being congested, and a little dizzy from my sinuses draining, I've felt great....a little tired, but great. I'm not had as much nausea with this pregnancy, but I think that is due from me learning to snack A LOT. I think throughout the day, I take care of Hayleigh, camped out in my bedroom, rest, eat, pee, eat,blow my nose, drink iced water, eat, enjoy a quite bath after Hayleigh is asleep, eat, then sleep, and repeat. And Bras, yes bras..... I know my boobs are far bigger than they were when I was pregnant and after I had Hayleigh. OMG! I feel like I have soccer balls for boobs this time. I've already had to go up 2 bra sizes! TWO!!! gesh! Maybe this time I can actually produce milk like a factory, instead of trying everything possible to try to produce any. I had better as big as these things have gotten! Needless to say, I can no longer go into a store and just buy a bra by the size it is on the rack without trying it on first.... I learned that the hard way after getting home, and not even being close to getting the sucker on! So, after 2 bra exchanges, I now try EVERYTHING on. 


As far as things I have not been prepared for.... GAS. Yes, gas. The first night I started my zpack, I had to take two to kick start it off. That night, I woke up out of a dead sleep with an incredible pain in my abdomen. I knew I was not having problems with the baby, but could feel this pain moving- a lot like a really hard contraction- from what I remembered being in labor with Hayleigh. The pain moved all the way down to my bottom, and I found myself getting sick over the pain, and running to the bathroom. Let's just say that any problems I have had of almost being constipated, are completely cured now. My first thought through all of the pain was relating it to being in labor, and thinking to myself, I don't care about being tough this next time I'm in labor- I'm getting an epidural! 


Among other things, I've become more emotional over things, which was to be expected. I'm a little bit more moodier, but I've also got a lot more on my plate this time than when I did when I was pregnant with Hayleigh. Sure, my grass looks like it is a foot tall- probably is, my house is a disaster- there are boxes everywhere, but, I am taking care of Hayleigh, me and the baby foremost. Those things can wait for now. I would rather have a healthy and happy family, than a clean house, and freshly mowed perfectly stripped yard, and be miserable. 


Other happenings.... let's see, Allen is coming home to visit for a week on this Sunday night!!!! It is very weird that he has been gone 99% of my pregnancy so far. I know it really bothers him, because it bothers me. I wish he could have been here when we found out we were expecting. But, things don't work out like we want them to. I also go back to work tomorrow, and Friday for my last two days of work. 5am is not looking too great to me right now, considering I've been lying in bed until 10-10:30 the past week, trying to let my body rest all I can to help fight this sinus infection off, and grow a healthy baby at the same time. 


I am getting anxious about moving. I just want to kind of get it done and over with. I hate being in limbo, and would just like to be over this sinus crap already, and enjoying being outside playing with Hayleigh as much as I can. 


Hayleigh had her last wellness check up on Monday, here in Olney. Of course, I got the third degree about vaccinations, and about Hayleigh still drinking milk out of a bottle. It doesn't really bother me anymore. I feel like I know my child more than the doctors do as far as her eating habits go. She will not drink milk out of a sippy. We tried cold turkey, but she does not like milk in general- I never have really either, so I am not pushing the issue until she turns two, and then I will just supplement a different way- pedisure, or something else. I know I will definitely be getting Allen and Hayleigh vaccinated against whooping cough before this baby comes, along with any family that will be visiting after the baby is born, and I will have to wait until after I have the baby to receive the vaccination. The baby will be born in the winter months, and that is just one thing I worry about- colds, and sickness. As far as vaccinations go, we will probably still stick with the two and talking for the most part. From what we have researched, I would rather wait a bit, before starting vaccinations- it is what we are comfortable with, and may not agree with or work with what others believe. 


Anyway, we are all doing good for the most part, just getting anxious to see Allen, and anxious about the big move as well. 


Baby #2 developments for the week: 

How your baby's growing:

Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

8wk Ultrasound and Baby #2

So, Thursday, I went with one of my good friends to get my first ultrasound done for this new baby- to get to see and hear a heartbeat, and make sure that the baby was growing and thriving. I always think I will cry going to things like this, but I never seem to. I guess I'm just too happy. Everything went very well, except for the receptionist at the front counter in admissions. She knows my mom, and does not apparently know what is now going on between my mom and I, but brought it upon herself to try to make me feel like a pile of crap. She sees  me and tells me that I know I am killing my mother..... REALLY??? I do not know why people have to get themselves involved in other people's business. It really just bummed me out after the ultrasound what she had said and knowing that I was there to get something done. The more I sit and think about it, the more I want to call the hospital and talk to someone there about what happened. That lady may not know what I was there to do, but intentionally tried to ruin my day. I guess I am just the most upset over that it did not ruin the ultrasound, but it did ruin the rest of my evening, because I let what she said get to me. It was a special day for me, and she ruined most of it. I am fine now, but still planning on doing something about what was said- someone should know what she is doing at her desk when she is bored and not busy. Anyway, here is the video of part of the ultrasound. We didn't find it necessary to keep recording my ovaries after the tech finished checking out the baby.

Wordless Wednesday- 8wks!!!!

Tomorrow, I will be 8wks along with Baby #2! Tomorrow is a big day! Hopefully we will get to see the baby moving around and waving, and hear the heartbeat. I cannot wait! That must explain why I cannot sleep anymore! I am soo happy that I am off of work for this week and most of next just for that. Today has been pretty hectic. Missy and Toby got out of our fence, and ran two houses down before I finally found them. I looked all over our house, our backyard, and our neighbor's yard, before walking down our road to get our mail, all while yelling their names. I finally found them running to me, covered in stink mud! eggghhhh! the smell was awful!!!! They are now on total lock down for the rest of the night- just allowed out for potty breaks and food and water. After all of that, Hayleigh decided to throw a tantrum before her nap- sigh... never a dull moment in our household anymore! I wouldn't trade it for anything- but the dogs running off- that has got to stop. I was afraid I was going to find them on the road run over- I always expect the worst. Anyway, busy, busy day! Well, in celebration of  tomorrow, I figured I would start posting these updates now- after all, I did the same for Hayleigh. So, Baby M #2 - your developments for this week:
How your baby's growing:

New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.

April Fool's (continued)

This is the part of all of this I wish I could just stop with. I never imagined that Thursday would go how it did, but, here it goes....


Thursday, I had made plans with my dad to go to eat lunch and tell him the news. Hayleigh's shirts were delivered at the house early that morning, while I was at work, and Hayleigh was at the sitter's. I ended up leaving work late after Hayleigh's pictures were in, and Jessica ran them right over to me at work before I left. So, I was on a mad dash to try to get home, get Hayleigh's shirt for lunch, and then pick her up. I didn't make it home- for some reason the power company decided to block the highway, and have a flag guy with 1 lane of traffic running- which was just the Southbound lane. After sitting there for 5min, I decided to try to turn around, and just go ahead and pick Hayleigh up and go ahead to lunch without the shirt. By the time I got turned around, traffic was backed up over a mile. I finally made it to Hayleigh- she was grouchy, and teething- come to find out... We were late, but made it to lunch with my dad at Bobe's Pizza. We ordered lunch, and made small talk. It was soo crowded in that place, that Hayleigh couldn't decide what to watch, or who to watch. Dad and I talked about our new home out in Colorado, and when we would be moving, then I told him we had more good news.. I told him about Baby #2, and he was ecstatic! He is hoping for a boy, just like everyone else- I just want a healthy baby. Anyway, lunch went well, and we decided to go home for both Hayleigh and I to catch a nap- we were both exhausted. 


After waking up, we got ready. I put Hayleigh's new shirt on her, and had butterflies in my stomach. Allen was on standby for when I told my mom, and then would later be on speaker when we told his Grandparents. Well, as far as telling my mom, lets just say it did not go well at all... I left wanting to cry, and hide in a hole. I just could not understand why she was soo upset, and mad that we were having another baby. Even her co-workers tried to talk her into being happy about it. I could not believe it, and this would not be the last of this unfortunately. 


I left Mom's work, and got gas, since my tank went to low fuel, and hurried out to Allen's grandparents- all while telling Allen about what had just happened, and my best friend the same story. We were all at a loss for words on why things went the way they did. 


I finally got out to Allen's Grandparent's house, had Hayleigh's jacket on, and Allen told them over the speaker phone, to take Hayleigh's jacket off, and look at her new shirt we got her. Allen's Grandpa picked Hayleigh up, and peaked - I forget what he said, but he was soo excited, he would not let Allen's Grandma see what was on the shirt. Finally I got Hayleigh sit down on a chair, and she got to read Hayleigh's shirt. "I have a Secret, I'm going to be  a Big Sister"......"WAIT! WHAT!!???" We had to then tell her, and tell them what was going on- about we had no clue, and this all happened on it's own. They were both really happy- jumping up and down. After what had happened just before, this made everything soo much better. 


I told them I was due the day before our wedding anniversary- November 21st, which is also the day before Thanksgiving this year as well. Looks like everyone will be coming to us for Thanksgiving. 
We talked over supper, and I told them how hard it was the whole week, not to tell them- and had to fib a bit about why I went to get blood work done at the clinic, and why I was sick. 


The rest of the weekend seems to all run together now- I finished one of my last remanding days at work on Friday, followed it up with eating supper with my mom, while waiting to get together with my cousin Tonya, and Hayleigh's Godfather, Garrett. The whole time I was with my mom, she did not want to talk about the new baby at all. She was just off. We made it back, and Tonya and Garrett arrived. We got on the topic of the new baby, we joked a little, and then I told Tonya about how this one was a COMPLETE surprise, and how I knew someone close to me who wanted a baby now, and I was wanting to wait. This sent my mom into a raging fit. She went on about that person being on public aide, and how all people on public aide need to be fixed. This really just burnt me. I then told my mom the one thing I did not want her to know. I told my mom, so since we had been on public aide for a few months, until Allen found a new job, should I have been fixed? There was a short pause, and she said YES. I cannot tell you just how embarrassed I was. She rented and raved about it all. I tried telling her that it was embarrassing to be on Public Aide, and that it is there if you need it, and we needed it. She told me that after her and my dad had my younger sister, we could have gotten on it, but she didn't - they just did without. I asked her how you were supposed to do without heat, power, food, and gas in the car? She just went on about it more- completely mortifying me. I finally told her to drop it and change the subject. I was bawling already on the inside. Tonya and Garrett then left after catching a few more pictures with Hayleigh opening her Easter from them, and playing with it all. My sister just happened to pull into the drive after they left, while I was putting our car seat back into my car. I was bawling. I could not believe my mom acted that way. What was wrong with her??? I felt soo alone - like I had no mother at all to share in my excitement with, and bond over. Why was this time different than the last? I finally made it back into the house, eyes puffy and red from crying. Magen then asks me if I was having problems again with my allergies. I was short with her, and told her No. She asked if I was okay, and I told her no, but I would be fine. I got Hayleigh rounded up as quick as I could, Mom trying to stall, just starring at me not saying a word, or even showing any remorse over what had just happened. 


I got Hayleigh out to the car, with Magen packing some stuff out with me, asking what had happened. I told her what had happened, and that Mom did not want me to have this baby, and was completely mad over the whole thing. Magen was sorry for me, and I was sorry for her staying with Mom, in the mood she was in. 


As soon as I left Mom's drive, I called her, and asked her what was the matter. We ended up having a long drawn out fight, with mainly me talking- she just told me that she didn't think that I needed to have that baby, she was not happy about it at all, Hayleigh needed to be the baby longer, and I can't even remember what else. I told her that I wanted Hayleigh to be the baby a little longer too, but Hayleigh and the new baby would be the same age difference as Magen and I were- 2 1/2 years apart. I asked her why she couldn't be happy for me- we were happy. Allen has a great job, we have a  new house to move to in a great area, we have great insurance, I was not 18 years old, Allen and I have a great marriage, we are very happy, and everyone was just happy. She wouldn't answer me, and told me she didn't want to argue with me anymore. I told her not to worry about us anymore- not to get me anything for Easter, or just anything anymore. If she couldn't be happy for us, to stay away until she could be, or at least put her differences aside. I bawled after that, and got a hold of Allen. He was worried I would get too upset, and put too much stress on me and the baby. I calmed down, and told him we were okay. I then called my friend up- late as it was, she talked to me. I re accounted what had just happened, and we had determined, it was not my hormones, that I was right to be upset. I finally fell asleep completely exhausted, and awoke the next morning with very puffy eyes. 


Since that night, not much has changed. We did get together with my sister and her boyfriend- just for them, since they had traveled 2 hours just to see Hayleigh, and even went to my mom's for Easter, which was very quiet. I sat at the opposite end of the table from my mom, with Hayleigh, Mom kept her distance, and Hayleigh hunted eggs. I got the rest of my garage sale stuff loaded up, along with Hayleigh's Easter stuff, and we went and visited Allen's Grandparents. We ended up having a good time with them and my sister and her boyfriend, but it just was not the same. After getting home late, we discovered my dad had been by and left a Easter surprise for Hayleigh- I ended up calling him kind of late, and briefly told him about how the weekend had went. He was baffled too. We made plans to eat supper this week for his Birthday, and left it at that. 


Since the weekend, I haven't heard anything out of my mom, and I don't know if we will before we move in a few weeks. I just wish everything would have went better. I don't want this baby to think that he or she was unwanted. Allen and I love each other very much, and are just tickled that this happened the way it did. Even though this all happened not at the time I would have wanted it to, it ended up being the perfect time. I will hopefully have 2 kids before I am 30- I turn 30 in February, and they will be closer in age- which is what I originally wanted. The other plus is that I can stay home with both Hayleigh and the new baby for at least the first year out there, and plan on going back to work after they get in school. It wasn't in my plans for this to happen- but I do believe God has a sense of humor- what better day to find out you are expecting, when you don't think it is even possible on your own, than on April Fool's ?? All in all, our family is happy and we cannot wait for  this Thursday, when I get to go in and hopefully get to hear and see the baby's heartbeat. So, I'll be back on here hopefully after my appointment on Thursday with some pictures, and possibly a video of a baby and one of the greatest sounds in the world- that baby's heartbeat. 

April Fool's - a day that will never be the same again...

I have been wanting to get on here and write for the past week SOOOO bad- but I haven't. Truthfully I haven't had time to adjust to the shock that day has left. 


So, let me start this all out on April Fool's Day... Hayleigh spent the night with my mom, and I had called to see if she was up early, because I thought it would be nice to pick her up early. Well, my mom took Hayleigh to Palm Sunday service with her, so I had 2 hours to kill. Since my garage sale had went over soo well, I thought I would treat myself to a nice pedicure up town. Well, in the middle of this really relaxing pedi, my cell phone rings- I think to myself that I'll relax and call who ever it was back when I went to the dryer, but my phone rang again... So I waited until I got to the dryer, and saw it was Allen who had called. I called him back, and found out he had been in an accident. He was okay, and as far as he knew the other person was as well. No damage was done to the truck - a plus too. So after all of that shake up, I made it over to my mom's to visit with my sister and her boyfriend until Mom and Hayleigh got back. After they returned, we all went out for Chinese up town, and looked in a stores window that was just next to the restaurant, and then went back to my mom's house for a nap.

 We all slept for a good 2 hours, when my sister was ready to leave, I decided we would just go ahead home since I wasn't feeling too good- still tired. On the way home, we almost passed Walmart, and I remembered we needed a few things- mainly milk and juice for Hayleigh. While in there, I decided to pick up a pregnancy test- I was late and had been stressed beyond belief for the past month, and usually when I take one, things seem to get back on track. After running into a few friends in Walmart, we finally got out, and got home. I got Hayleigh one of her Mickey Mouse movies on- she had not seen any all day, and this is something she thinks she has to do everyday. I decided to go ahead and take the test, and let it sit on the counter in the bathroom, but for some reason, I just stayed there. The test was taking forever- I didn't think I had done it right, finally it started to progress across the window. I cannot tell you why, but for some reason deep down, I knew what this test was going to say- kind of like a calm came over me. The test finally popped the result in the window, and I just sat there kind of dumb founded looking at it, well knowing it said positive, looking at it in disbelief. It was April Fool's Day, and I thought I was not reading it correctly. So, I took another test, and left it sitting on the counter- and got Hayleigh juice, went back into the bathroom, and proceeded to stare at two positive pregnancy tests.... then I was on a mad dash searching for the house phone to call Allen. 

Keep in mind this whole time- WE WERE NOT TRYING FOR A BABY- WE WANTED TO WAIT AND GO TO A CLINIC NEXT SUMMER. I thought my body could not operate correctly on getting a baby, unless I was on drugs, making me to. After 7 years of trying for Hayleigh, with no luck, I did not bother to go on the pill after she was born, because it took two rounds of raising drug levels of fertility drugs to get pregnant. So, after almost two years after having Hayleigh, I just knew we would be going back to a specialist. 


So, back to me running around the house frantic looking for the stupid phone... I finally found the phone under a Walmart sack, and dialed Allen's number as quickly as I could. He picked up right away. I told him, " I didn't want to have to tell you this on the phone," and I paused, "But, I'm pregnant!" Saying this out loud, I couldn't even believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. He is quite for a second, which seemed like 5 minutes, and finally said, "Are you serious??!!" It was April Fool's Day, and even though we never play tricks on each other, he sure did think I was trying to get him on one. I then started rambling, and talking soo fast, telling him, I was pretty sure- there were two pregnancy tests lying on the bathroom counter that said I was. We both just sat there in silence on the phone in complete shock. Then, Allen chimes in, "Well I guess that doesn't work anymore." 


I cannot honestly tell you what else we talked about, besides waiting to tell people until after I could get to the doctor to get checked out, and make sure the baby was healthy, and everything was okay. I ordered two shirts for Hayleigh to announce becoming a big sister- see picture bellow. I didn't know what to do with myself- I couldn't sit still. How did this happen to us?? Of all times to happen- we are getting ready to move to Grand Junction, CO- Allen just found us a house to rent, and had secured the lease. I lived in shock, and could not sit still until I went to the doctor the next morning, after calling and making them fit me in ASAP that Monday morning. 

"I have a Secret, I'm Going to be a Big Sister"

So, Monday, I left work early, went to see Sandy- the same midwife that had delivered Hayleigh. I think they had to all think I was a bumbling idiot. Sandy went ahead and snuck me back into an ultrasound room- and started to look for the baby. She finally found the baby- it was still a dark sack- which was not at all what were expecting. Since I had NO idea of what dates to give them- I had come up with being 8-9 weeks along- not at all matching up with what we were seeing. Sandy was quiet, and I fell off of my high. She then sent me up for blood work, with half of the packet for expectant mothers- I didn't think that was a good sign at all. I had to check in and register with the new company that had bought out the clinic, and the girl that was doing all of my paper work, was asking questions about back when we had went to try for Hayleigh at the infertility clinic- what doctor we used, and just general questions for a "friend" I am sure. My blood work order got left in the scanner  after I had left to go upstairs to get blood drawn. I was upset that these people I knew, could plainly see what I was going to the lab for HCG was in big letters on the order. I worried about people saying things before we even knew for sure if everything was okay. I went ahead on back, and the lab tech, drew blood out of my good arm, and left a huge bruise- I never do bruise from any of that kind of stuff. Sandy had told me before I left her office that it might be the next day before she would have the results, so I left the clinic feeling really down- worried that this was too good to be true. I picked Hayleigh up, went home, and laid in bed for the rest of the day. I finally called my friend that was pretty much on the same cycle as me, and asked her for dates- she guessed what was going on. We figured out that I was 2wks early on the dates- putting be back to 6 1/2 wks and what I saw, was the same thing she had seen back when she was the same far along with her little boy. ( I had all internal ultrasounds done at the fertility clinic- they had much better equipment, so we could see a lot more that what the clinic had with their old machines) I felt soo much better after hearing that, and begin to feel optimistic once again. I went to work, and came back home to find a message on the answering machine the next day. Sandy had called- she didn't sound off, so I called her right back. Right away, I could hear the optimism in her voice- she told me my HCG level was over 21,000, and appeared to be good- especially after I gave her the date that I believe now is correct. She sounded much happier with that, and scheduled me for another blood draw on Wednesday- just to make sure the numbers kept going up, and gave me an order to go to the hospital to get another ultrasound done in a week- to hopefully see the baby's heartbeat. I cannot tell you just how happy that made me feel- I even cried just a bit over it. 


Wednesday's blood draw went well- followed by a followup phone call from Sandy confirming everything looked great- numbers were climbing very well, and to just go ahead and schedule the ultrasound for the following week. 


Allen and I were now chomping at the bit to tell everyone the good news. But, we had to wait for Hayleigh's shirts to come in. I had no idea things would then go like they did...... 

to be continued.......................